Those high-pressurized days are over with. I’ve taken time off to concentrate on writing and I have all the time in the world to work on what I’m working on. No more churning out articles to meet deadlines and all the pressure that comes with it. These days the only form of stress that comes my way is dealing with what needs to be fixed around the house, Chachi, the cat’s demands, and stress of my own making! Let’s also add the two cats who have moved in temporarily and are adding to the stress factor and you get the picture.
When stress shows up, my go to method of unwinding is to take a walk in the garden which is geared for relaxation. It has a whimsical quality about it and just watching the butterflies moving from flower to flower is soothing and calming. Listening to the birds is something that helps me unwind as well. The bedroom is an oasis for relaxation and it is kept dark and cool. I never have the heat on in the bedroom, I like it cold with lots of blankets! Sometimes listening to music helps but nothing jarring. It has to be soft and mood inducing. If that fails, stand-up comedy helps to bring out the laughter and this definitely does the job of soothing a frazzled nerve.
Meditation and yoga are two of my current methods of winding down for the evening. I’ve always turned to yoga but took a break after hurting myself doing a pretzel move! No more twisting and turning or headstands for that matter. These days I listen to my body so 30 minutes of slow languid moves helps to tone the body, calm the mind and to restore the soul. Meditation and deep breathing combined are major when it comes to getting ready for bed. It never fails to calm my mind and to put it to bed. Not always an easy thing to do since my mind has a mind of its own!
“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means me too.” L.R. Knost
Taking care of yourself should be at the top of your list but it rarely is. We pull ourselves in different directions trying to appease others and we put ourselves where we are barely visible at times. I do. “Me too” is not what I think of when I go about trying to help someone else and often, I forget myself in the process. I forget that I need nurturing too, I need taking care of, and I am important too.
“Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Unknown
Take care of yourself. You can’t be much help to anyone else if all you’re doing is looking to see how you can put yourself out there being the “angel” who is there for the calling, the helping, and one who comes to everyone’s call of distress without thinking about the toll it is taking on your being. I did that three years ago when I came to the aid of a sick friend and I put myself through hell and high water to care for him only to find out that even though it was a good deed, the price you have to pay is a high one as far as your own well-being is concerned. Will I do it again? It is a definite NO!
“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” Jim Rohn
Taking care of your body is a must. You don’t do it to look good for others, it is a necessity to survive in a world where much is needed from you, and if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. Do whatever is necessary to put yourself first, take care of yourself first and the rest can follow.
“Take care of yourself. Go for a walk, eat your favorite food, get a haircut, cry if you need to, read a book, take a vacation, have a drink, do what you need to do. Take care of yourself, because at the end of the day you’re all you’ve got.” Unknown
As the year draws to a close, the one resolution that matters for next year is to take care of myself first. I do that religiously, but sometimes I forget when life rolls around with its demands and I forget about “me” in the process and take off to do whatever is necessary for someone else. A helping spirit is a good one but not when it is to the detriment of your own well-being. I’m going to remember that as I move forward into the new year. It is not being selfish, it is called self-preservation.
“When you start taking care of yourself you start feeling better, you start looking better and you start to attract better. It all starts with you.” Unknown
AND
“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.” Jane Travis
That last one speaks to the heart of the matter. Removing yourself from the unacceptable can mean many things. Toxic people, things that drain your energy, and people who don’t give two hoots about your well-being. Put them into context, take a long hard look at what you will accept and what you won’t and go from there. Most of all, you MATTER!
I’ve backed off from social media usage simply because my life doesn’t revolve around it anymore. Gone are the days of constantly reaching for my phone to see what is going on and replying to every unnecessary tweet! I don’t need those strokes anymore.
I’m no longer on Facebook, Instagram is not my thing and X, well I’m still on there but I rarely contribute. None of these things have the pull they used to have. Don’t ask me why. Perhaps, it’s because I’m evolving in a different way or rather marching to my own drumbeat. Did I tell you I’m a recluse? Sure looks that way and somehow I’m loving it! There is a certain kind of peace from knowing that you don’t need outside stimulation from the likes of social media to feel good about yourself.
I’m here and that is my social media interaction. It seems to be working fine. I say what I’ve got to say and I wrap it up for the day until tomorrow rolls around and the Daily Prompt stares me in the face again! Boring? I guess but I’m loving it and that is what matters.
I wanted to say peace but it is nowhere to be seen today. Instead anxiety is taking its place. Why? I don’t know why. It shows up when it sees fit and makes my life a place of unrest and my head fills with unruly thoughts.
The night was fine. I slept like a baby after having done two bouts of yoga, one of the Yin variety and the other to calm the mind down. Both did wonders but here I am again feeling like something is not quite right. Anxiety is defined as an “emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events.”
Perhaps it is just my mind playing tricks on me. It doesn’t like peace because everything moves on an even keel and that doesn’t set too well with it. It likes turmoil when my thoughts churn and move like the waves on a choppy ocean and somehow this movement seems to suit my mind because it is a “monkey” that loves the constant chatter of non-stop movement! Well, it is time to do another round of yoga to calm the mind, get the creative juices flowing and to get into a nirvana state of mind. Wish me luck!
Sometimes we think that silence is just that, a certain quietness where nothing happens. It is a void that is soothing but nothing much comes out of it. I beg to differ. I have found that if you listen carefully, “silence” has much to say.
“It’s been said that actions speak louder than words, sometimes, it’s what you don’t say or do, that sends the loudest message.” Carlos Wallace
Quite often when something doesn’t go our way and we are hurt by another’s actions or words, the first reaction is to let it rip. Let it all out and show them how you feel and during those moments, words are aplenty and so are emotions. However, when all is said and done and you are wrung dry, more often than not you realize that you didn’t achieve anything through those outbursts of the unsavory kind.
“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown
Maturity doesn’t show up wearing bells and it does not say, “Here I am, take me and use me.” It shows up when you least expect it and when you’ve gone though the growing up process. The one that takes you on the ups and downs, the one where you find yourself down on your knees and the one that shows you there is a better way of doing things without going ballistic. It is the quiet gentle knowledge of knowing that you deserve better and you will move on with grace. No shouting or being loud needed.
“And suddenly I stopped explaining, stopped fixing, and just moved on. I learned that silence speaks louder than words. No response is a response. Now, I don’t chase. I don’t care and I let people feel the weight of their own choices.” Unknown
Easier said than done? I know because I’ve been there. Things are hard and life is harder still but learning to navigate choppy waters is a must if you want life to let up on you. If something doesn’t go your way, take it in stride. If someone doesn’t choose you, let him or her go. If life isn’t going like it’s supposed to, stop, take note, and then move on knowing that whatever it is that life throws your way, you are fully capable of handling it. Let silence be your guide and your best friend. There is much to be learned during your bout with silence if you’ll only listen.
“Silence is not empty, it is the loudest answer.” Unknown
Not only that, it gives you the ability to get your message across WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!
Try it the next time you want to let someone have what is coming to them or you are chomping at the bit to say your piece. Stop and move in silence.
I don’t remember his name but it is not important. The meeting took place while I was in high school. He was the caretaker’s son and I met him one day during break time. We were playing some silly game and there he was sitting on a bench staring into space. I recall the smile on his face as he sensed my presence. It was big and bold and somehow didn’t quite fit that small face. I stopped and stared and he said, “Hello!” and that was the beginning.
He was born blind and his eyes looked clouded like there was a veil over them. I was fascinated by them and we talked for a while. The friendship took off and everyday at break time, I was at his place asking questions and listening to him play the piano. One day he played this beautiful melody and called it my song. He had dreams of being a famous pianist and I could see him achieve that dream. He was very talented. We talked about many things and I think I was the only friend he had. Some days after school, I would practice walking around the house with my eyes closed just to see what it felt like to be him. Summer rolled around and there was a break for some time. When school started back up, I couldn’t wait to see him again. The bench where he usually sat was empty. I looked around and there was no sign of him. Then his mother told me he was gone. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but I felt the pain of losing a friend.
Looking back, it was the awakening of compassion and empathy within me. I didn’t know him well but there was a definite connection between us. A chance meeting that would change my life for the better. I would go on to help others but it all began right there when compassion took hold for a fellow human being and empathy did the rest.
Daily writing prompt
Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.
It started out peaceful enough but the two temporary residents, Shiro and Galli, acted as if they knew something was up. They watched as I brought the pet carriers upstairs from the cellar. I could see alarm showing in Galli’s eyes and he took off upstairs. Shiro, on the other hand, sashayed slowly to one carrier, sniffed, looked at me and walked off pretending not to care.
The appointment was scheduled for 1:30 in the afternoon. A good time for a haircut and some styling I thought. They needed it badly. The last time they were at the vet to get their hair done was about two years ago. Galli’s hair was badly matted on his stomach and Shiro was a walking ball of fur!
We, my friend decided to go with me, left on time. The cats were in their carriers quiet as they could be. I was feeling nervous because this time around, it would be done by a lady who specializes in trimming cat and dog hair without using general anesthesia. They would be wide awake and fully aware of what was happening and I knew that Galli wouldn’t put up with it. We got there on time and after introducing ourselves and the cats, we went into the basement. The place didn’t look too clean, there was hair all over the floor. I put it down to a client before us. It was time. I decided that Shiro should go first.
She let out a small meow but was quiet for the most part. The lady got out the shears, she had them in different sizes. After trimming around the face, she took out a battery operated gadget and little Shiro jumped when she heard the noise. I held her close as she went about trimming like she would a sheep. Most of the hair came off and then it was time to work on the belly area. This did not set too well on poor Shiro and she let out a loud meow. Again, I held her close, whispered to her, and she kept still. The butt area was the hardest but it needed to be done. Then she sprayed some disinfection on Shiro’s next to non-existent fur and it was a done deal. The white Persian looked like a rat but most of the matting was now gone. The hair will grow back I was told.
Next was Galli and the big guy let out a yelp and a bark as he was laid on the table. She decided to put a muzzle on him because he was literally spitting, growling, and yowling. This time my friend stepped in and with gloves up to his armpits held him down as she went to work. It was hard to watch. The poor guy was in agony, not from pain but with fear. He started thrashing around and if it wasn’t for the muzzle, he would have let it rip! The friend was strong and held his legs as the lady worked quickly. Just watching them at work sapped me of energy. I also felt sorry for Galli and wanted to comfort him but he was beyond listening and in his world of showing just how pissed he was!
Half an hour later, it was all over. They both looked like wet rats, scared and ready to get out of there. I was totally wiped out and so was my friend. He couldn’t believe just how strong Galli was. Holding him down took a lot of energy and strength. The drive back was quiet for the most part and I wondered how Galli would react once I let him out of the carrier. I expected hissing and spitting. However, he surprised me. He walked out, took one look at me and started purring. The poor guy looked half his size without all that hair and I decided that I would make it up to him for the hell he went through. Evening was spent pampering him and his little sister Shiro. Both acted needy and kept wanting attention. When all was said and done, I was pooped!
Chachi wanted to know who the two new guys were! He didn’t recognize them but he did say he was getting tired of having new buddies show up every time he turned his back. He was ready for some peace and quiet. Plus, he didn’t like the fact that I was cozying up to them. So, I had to spend some time snuggling up to the little Macho so that he would come off his high horse. It worked after some time but by that time I was ready to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and let the world go to pieces!
Some days are stressful and yesterday was one of those days. I checked on the two little ones this morning and they looked fine. They were ready for food and acting as if what they went through was all forgotten. Hmm…that’s cats for you!
One decision I made in the past that has helped me to learn and to grow is to let go of a relationship that wasn’t working. Holding on is human nature and letting go is too but I tend to hold on longer than it is necessary sometimes until I am blue in the face or till the cows come home!
Therein lies all my problems. I knew it wasn’t working, I could see it for what it was but still I held on for dear life. However, the journey of self-discovery I am on taught me some lessons and one of them is that not all breakups are bad. Sometimes it is needed to teach you that “better” exists and it is not only in your mind. Once I started moving forward, I realized that I had it within me to pick and choose the right person I wanted in my life. My heart has all these romantic notions of how a love should be but I am learning that there is more to it than butterflies in your stomach. I tend to wear rose-colored glasses where love is concerned and when that tint wears off, I am left holding the remnants of a broken love affair. It’s off with those glasses and on to what it is really about. It is now about knowing what I want, what I won’t settle for and a love that is “all in” and not the fading kind. I mean, “the here today and gone tomorrow” variety.
Breaking off and going it alone has taught me many lessons but the most important one that has helped me to learn and grow is that I AM ENOUGH as I am. No embellishments needed! Version 2.0 is stronger and more capable at looking for love in all the right places and a royal pain in the you know what!
Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
Did someone say something that rubbed you the wrong way? Did it make you feel less than you are? Did a bad relationship make you feel unworthy and not enough? Did it help to shrink you even further? Does the environment you live in make you feel that you don’t belong? A job where you don’t fit in? Cruel remarks that make you feel smaller than you are?
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” Rumi
However, it happens in this day-to-day existence of ours. It has been said that it’s a cruel world out there and more often than not, it is. It doesn’t always build you up, it doesn’t make you feel worthy and “lacking” is the word that comes to mind. How do you walk tall in a world that doesn’t always care about your feelings, your mental health and more importantly the “YOU” as a person? The answer lies within. If you’re looking for validation from the outside world, you’re looking in the wrong place.
“Learn to love YOURSELF -first- instead of loving the idea OF OTHER PEOPLE loving you.” Unknown
If you only feel worthy when someone gives you a compliment, you are going about it the wrong way. If you are waiting for that special someone to validate love for you, it’s time to take a good hard look at your perception of love and what it means. If a two-timing no good individual can pull the rug from under your feet and leave you feeling like you don’t matter, it’s time to find that strength within, and to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! Once you do, none of the above will matter. You become stronger, you learn what is important to you and you build yourself up from the inside out which is important. It is your source of comfort and strength but more than that, you won’t be looking for validation from the outside world. It is an inside job and you will start attracting the right kind of people as well.
“You are not enough!” “You are lacking!” “You can’t measure up to what life is asking of you because you don’t have it in you!” Is that your inner critic talking or rather berating you? Yes, it can be loud and it can be destructive if you let it take over. Each time you hear that negative voice within you getting loud, listen but don’t take it to heart and if it gets too destructive, send it packing! Here’s the truth. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE and YOU ARE FULLY CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” Lucille Ball
When was the last time you paid attention to the person you carry around with you? I know I lost track of that person when the two cats moved in and my world was turned upside down. Paying attention to the person who mattered took a back seat and the inner critic had full run so much so that I became smaller than I am and doubts started creeping in. I’m not enough was the message, loud and clear. I listened and ran with it.
“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” Unknown
Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself like you would to someone you love, show yourself some self-care, take time out for yourself, pamper yourself, and stop to smell the roses. Once you do that, you will find that the people who bring you down, the ones who’ve hurt you, and the ones who take you for granted will disappear because others will come in to take their place. You attract what you reflect and better will walk in and want to stay. Your new reality will take some getting used to and letting go of those that no longer matter will sometimes be hard. However, one thing’s for sure, “shrinking” will become a thing of the past. It all starts with loving yourself first.
Until then,
“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” Rena Rose
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