I learned this lesson the hard way and it took many years to get it right, although I haven’t perfected the art of letting go and especially “letting go” when there is no point in holding on.
Most of us are taught to persevere as if perseverance will get us better. All it does is to prolong the suffering and the heartbreak. I’ve learned that letting go without too much overthinking takes practice and a certain mindset. I have a tendency to hold on even when the ship has set sail and has moved out of sight and still I hold on hoping that it will go a certain distance and TURN BACK! Sometimes, it happens but it never stays for long. The problem is if something doesn’t serve you, it is not going to change no matter how much you want it to.
My best advice to someone younger than me would be to learn to let go gracefully. Don’t fight, don’t wrestle, don’t overthink, don’t wish and hope. If it is not to be, LET IT GO before it’s too late and walk away gracefully. If it’s meant to be, it will come back and if it doesn’t or if he or she doesn’t, it’s their loss.
Learn to perfect the art of letting go because you will learn that throughout life, you will have to let go of many things and to save you some pain and heartache, it is a necessity to do it right to minimize the damage and the hurt.
Daily writing prompt
What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?
Did someone say something that rubbed you the wrong way? Did it make you feel less than you are? Did a bad relationship make you feel unworthy and not enough? Did it help to shrink you even further? Does the environment you live in make you feel that you don’t belong? A job where you don’t fit in? Cruel remarks that make you feel smaller than you are?
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” Rumi
However, it happens in this day-to-day existence of ours. It has been said that it’s a cruel world out there and more often than not, it is. It doesn’t always build you up, it doesn’t make you feel worthy and “lacking” is the word that comes to mind. How do you walk tall in a world that doesn’t always care about your feelings, your mental health and more importantly the “YOU” as a person? The answer lies within. If you’re looking for validation from the outside world, you’re looking in the wrong place.
“Learn to love YOURSELF -first- instead of loving the idea OF OTHER PEOPLE loving you.” Unknown
If you only feel worthy when someone gives you a compliment, you are going about it the wrong way. If you are waiting for that special someone to validate love for you, it’s time to take a good hard look at your perception of love and what it means. If a two-timing no good individual can pull the rug from under your feet and leave you feeling like you don’t matter, it’s time to find that strength within, and to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BETTER! Once you do, none of the above will matter. You become stronger, you learn what is important to you and you build yourself up from the inside out which is important. It is your source of comfort and strength but more than that, you won’t be looking for validation from the outside world. It is an inside job and you will start attracting the right kind of people as well.
“You are not enough!” “You are lacking!” “You can’t measure up to what life is asking of you because you don’t have it in you!” Is that your inner critic talking or rather berating you? Yes, it can be loud and it can be destructive if you let it take over. Each time you hear that negative voice within you getting loud, listen but don’t take it to heart and if it gets too destructive, send it packing! Here’s the truth. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE and YOU ARE FULLY CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” Lucille Ball
When was the last time you paid attention to the person you carry around with you? I know I lost track of that person when the two cats moved in and my world was turned upside down. Paying attention to the person who mattered took a back seat and the inner critic had full run so much so that I became smaller than I am and doubts started creeping in. I’m not enough was the message, loud and clear. I listened and ran with it.
“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” Unknown
Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself like you would to someone you love, show yourself some self-care, take time out for yourself, pamper yourself, and stop to smell the roses. Once you do that, you will find that the people who bring you down, the ones who’ve hurt you, and the ones who take you for granted will disappear because others will come in to take their place. You attract what you reflect and better will walk in and want to stay. Your new reality will take some getting used to and letting go of those that no longer matter will sometimes be hard. However, one thing’s for sure, “shrinking” will become a thing of the past. It all starts with loving yourself first.
Until then,
“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” Rena Rose
I grew up on an island and I loved being close to water, I still do. Unfortunately, the little village I call home now does not cater in that respect. It has everything else, peace, quiet, nature, beauty, AND streams but no big bodies of water.
It doesn’t have to be, just a small lake would do. Sometimes when I go walking, I picture a pool of water right there staring back at me but no chance. If I want to see water and spend time there, I would have to drive to the next village and there I will find a river. It is beautiful as it meanders through the village.
My biggest dream is to own a house by the sea. In my mind’s eye, I see a modest house with a white fence around it. I have a thing for fences! It has a small garden going down to the water’s edge and lazy afternoons could be spent there swinging in a hammock! Dreamy? It is to me.
Not a chance of that happening but there is an idiom that goes like this. “Never say never.”
Coming back to your question, yes a body of water would instantly improve the village, but that’s just my opinion.
Daily writing prompt
What’s one thing that would instantly improve your city?
It happened! Chachi, the cat, decided that it was time to “thaw” and get things moving in the right direction. He has spent the last two weeks going back and forth between normalcy and FROST!
The ice was so thick that I could feel the blast of cold air in the other room! He was upset that I had left him with a cat sitter for four days while I was in the hospital and that to this spoiled brat was a no go. Mommy was his and how dare she leave him all alone with a stranger!
Anyway, around two in the afternoon he walked in with a curious look on his face. I ignored him. He moved closer and brushed up against my legs. Still, I made no move, just sat silently and watched him. He went back and forth a few times and then a loud MEOW followed.
“What do you want? No, I can’t pick you up. I’m sorry.”
“PICK ME UP!”
I know he has been craving to be picked up and held close, a sign that all is well in his world. Unfortunately, it is against doctor’s orders. No bending and no lifting heavy objects. The little snort is heavy enough and believe me, I WANTED TO!
Then he jumped on the bed and the lovefest took off! Lots of kisses followed, purrs, and staying close to mommy was the name of the game. Then he jumped off, ran downstairs and a few minutes later walked back in with a stuffed mouse in his mouth. Dumped it at my feet and looked at me. He wanted to play like we used to. This was a NO GO as well. How do you explain that to a cat?
The poor mouse had lost all its innards and just the shell remained. Did he care? I suppose this is what bullies do. Pick the one that shows least resistance! Anyway, I kicked the mouse with my foot and he went after it. After a few rounds, the ICE was completely thawed by now. He was all lovey dovey again and it has stayed that way.
Evening saw the old Chachi emerge. He was in his element. Sleep was forgotten and he was running riot around the room. By morning, the curtains were skewed, the office door had been opened, the little box next to his toilet was on its head and then he decided it was time to dash across the bed!
This morning, he stood watching me knowing full well he was in trouble. His legs were crossed in front and his green eyes were suspicious.
“I see you had a fun time last night?”
He stood silently eyeing me.
“C’mon let’s go downstairs.”
Was that a sigh of relief? It could have been but he dashed downstairs and took his spot by the window.
We are back to being best buddies and ALL is well in his world.
I’m not sure if the trip to Hawaii was around 20 hours, it could have been more or rather it felt like forever!
It was supposed to be a second honeymoon trip and my ex did all the planning. We were going to touchdown in Maui, check into a nice hotel, fly first class no less, and have a great time. The problem, my ex decided that our preschooler should tag along. A big mistake! Never take a young child with you on your honeymoon.
You guessed it. It was a horror trip. The little brat decided that he was going to call all the shots and to add more fuel to the fire, he was made to feel like the little prince all along the journey. The flight was more than comfortable, I think we had a stopover in New York before heading to Hawaii. The minute we boarded the flight at New York JFK Airport, the trouble started. It was too long of a flight for the little guy and he started acting up royally. I tried my best to quiet him down but it was a no go. The other passengers had to put up with his antics although they thought he was very cute.
Once we arrived in Hawaii, he gave us more of the same. He didn’t want to do anything! Anything we suggested was met with an absolute NO! Then he perked up when his dad told him about this defunct volcano high above the clouds. It meant a harrowing drive up there but the little brat was into it. Once there, he walked around collecting volcanic rocks with a grin across his face!
Needless to say, it wasn’t a honeymoon at all. The trip was a long one and that was the longest trip I’ve ever made. I’d opt for time travel when flying with a young child. Someone should design just that. Any takers?
Elon?
Oh, I forget that yours rides shotgun on your shoulders!
Has it been that long? I remember I was in a foreign land staring at a screen in a shop window, tears streaming down my face. I could hear the gasps around me and it was unbelievable. Time stood still on that day.
Sounds like a great idea if you don’t have the cash to splurge on extravagance but want to go places anyway. Unfortunately or fortunately, I don’t have much experience with this mode of traveling.
When I started traveling, I stayed at good hotels, went to really nice restaurants, and never had to worry if I was staying in a good location or not. I don’t think in all my years of traveling, I had a shoestring budget.
However, it is not hard to figure out what budget travel entails. It means, “exploring the world while keeping your spending low and intentional through smart choices.” It also takes work and careful planning to put a trip together but things can still go wrong.
Pay careful attention to these four items when planning your trip.
Accommodation:
No fancy hotels here. Look for hostel rooms, and or guesthouses. Pay careful attention to the ratings as well.
Food:
No fancy restaurants, instead rely on street food or cook your own meals.
Transport:
Public buses, trains, and or depend on your own two feet to get you places. No rental cars or taxis.
Activities:
Hiking trails, low-cost or free things to do like visiting public parks, beaches or other similar activities that cost very little or next to nothing.
Budget travel will take you places but I would rather stick with the normal variety or mode of travel. I’d rather be safe than sorry so I stick to traveling the way I do it. Book flight, get there, check in at hotel, know I’m safe, and take off from there!
Not everyone can afford that so my best tips for budget travel is, pay attention to details, look at the ratings carefully before booking anything, be aware of your surroundings, AND stay safe!
