I would say plenty. Having good intentions to get something done is there but the will to do so is sometimes missing! Let’s take the office area for instance. I have a mess going. Papers everywhere and lots of things that need to be filed and put away and as I said before, I want to do it but every time I approach the task, something inside screams, let’s leave it for another day! And so it goes. One day, I will get to it but not just right now.
The other thing that never gets done is the room upstairs. My former friend left a lot of stuff behind before he passed away and I have good intentions of looking through them but something stops me. The one time I tried, I came across a handwritten note that said, “I love you sweetheart,” and I froze. So, I stay away from opening boxes and coming across messages that tear at my heart. I am healing but I am not all the way there. One day, I will get to it as well and I hope I can do it without dreading what I will come across.
I need to get a new phone because the one I have is acting up. The upstairs phone is fine but the one downstairs refuses to ring! Why? How do I know? It just wants to add to the things that I need to get done. I need to replace it. Easy enough to get a new phone but installing it is frightening. What if I do something wrong? What if it doesn’t work? Tech klutz remember? So, that is another thing that needs to be done.
Being a single woman is not easy BUT I’m not getting a guy just so he can do all the stuff that needs doing. Yes, they have offered but I think that is like a bribe so I refuse. Oh, well, welcome to my world. I am still not where I need to be.
One day soon I hope. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed!
I am a good cook, a talent I inherited from my mom. She was a really good cook. I also have a big collection of cookbooks I collected from my travels around the world and I read them like a book! However, I don’t use the recipes per se, I take them and change them around and it usually turns out great.
Indonesians are great cooks. They can take the simplest of ingredients and turn it into a meal fit for a king or queen. There is one recipe I love from that country. It is made with boiled eggs and a thing they call a chili sambal. Crushed chilies with loads of spices and sauteed with chopped onions served on plain white rice. How can something so simple taste so scrumptiously good? Believe me, it does if you’re into spicy foods as I am.
I make this dish really well. There are other recipes but this one is my favorite and I make it whenever winter rolls around and I need something to warm the soul. It does the trick.
“The only limits that exist are the ones in your own mind.” Unknown
A limiting belief is defined as,”a state of mind or belief about yourself that restricts you in some way. And these beliefs are often false accusations you make about yourself that can cause many negative results. Essentially, they are the lies you tell yourself, and if you allow them to continue, they define you.” http://www.linkedin.com
We all have them and we use them to define who we are as a person and what we are capable of achieving. Most of these beliefs carry negative connotations and they are designed to keep us from moving ahead in life. Here are some of them.
I am not good enough! This one is very familiar at least to yours truly. Quite often, I use this as my mantra to keep me in my rabbit hole. I venture out to take a peek and then I rush back into the hole where I am most comfortable. If I could, I would stay there forever but than again even rabbits come out to play from time to time and to observe life as it passes by. Partake or not, that is up to you. What does, “I’m not good enough,” really mean? It is a mindset that is well-ingrained into your psyche and once it has taken hold, it is next to impossible to get rid off. Perhaps changing the negative to the positive might help. I AM GOOD ENOUGH! Say that often enough and it might just give that not so friendly sod, a heave and a ho and send it packing.
“Limiting Beliefs have one goal…..to keep you from leaving your Comfort Cave so you can’t grow and reach your greatest potential.” Unknown
I don’t have enough time…..this is another crippling lie and it is not true. If you look at the amount of time we waste propped up in front of the TV or sitting hunched over our lap top doing nothing much except to let these two gadgets dictate how we spend our time and nothing more. Truth is, you and I know that we have the time to do better things. We just need to do less of one and more of the things that contribute to our lives and crush those limiting beliefs that keep us from achieving our goals.
The next lie is one that loves to keep you in your place. If only I was taller, prettier, skinnier…..the list goes on and you get the drift. This one is designed to shrink you to 1/2 or a 1/4 of the size you actually are. Each time you repeat and accept this mantra in your head, you see this short, fat and ugly person staring back at you. It is not the reality but one you’ve chosen to accept as your reality. You, no matter what your size, height, weight or looks have just as much to offer this world than the other person. Pat yourself on the back and go conquer the world! I heard a saying once that goes like this. “Walk in like God sent you!”A good one to hold close to your chest and to pull out at those moments when you feel lacking or feeling smaller than you actually are.
Limiting beliefs need constant work. They are not easy to overcome but with time, effort and a conscious effort to defeat them, you’ll find yourself on the other side of the fence, the one that is more positive and forgiving but if nothing helps than perhaps this will.
“Do the uncomfortable. Become comfortable with these acts. Prove to yourself that your limiting beliefs die a quick death if you will simply do what you feel uncomfortable doing.” Darren Rowse
Honestly, I can’t remember much about it! All I can say is that I needed a computer to get my papers done and I was using the one at the university library because I didn’t have a computer of my own. It meant late nights at the library trying to get my work done and walking alone to the car park afterwards. I didn’t feel safe because there had been a couple of incidents involving female students getting raped and assaulted.
I decided to get a computer and a friend helped to set it up because I am not computer savvy and a klutz where technology is concerned. I don’t recall what brand it was or what it could do, just that I could work on my papers late into the night without fear and let me tell you, it was freedom of a new kind! No more rushing to the library in the evenings and no more overthinking about what could happen in that car park.
My first computer helped to get things done but I don’t think it was high tech compared to what I have now. The one I have now is fast and has so many additional features but the old one was slow but it did what was necessary at that time in my life.
Fear, according to Freud, signals danger: “We fear physiological decay, illness and death; we fear the destructive forces of nature; and-of-course- we fear US.” Carl Jung, however, had a different interpretation. “For the hero, fear is a challenge and a task, because only boldness can deliver from fear.”
Whatever the case may be, fear took hold somewhere in my 20s and has been a constant companion ever since. I would consider myself to be a fearful person but people who know me say that I am strong and that I am capable of slaying monsters, the kind that keeps me from stepping out and looking fear right in the eye and thumping my nose at it. However, that doesn’t happen often!
Let’s see, I have a fear of ghosts having seen one or two in my lifetime but that’s for another place and time. I fear the unknown but who doesn’t? I have a fear of falling in love so I have built this insurmountable wall around me and breaking it is going to take super-human strength and a special kind of guy. That said, I do want to find love again but the fear within makes me run before I even get started and that is a conundrum in itself.
“The fears we don’t face become our limits.” Robin Sharma
Yet, if I put matters of the heart aside, I have done things that tells me that “fear” is just in my mind and NOT a real thing. I accompanied a sick friend to the very end of his life. In the beginning, I dug my heels in and said, “I can’t do this!” My friend gave me the power to pull the plug when the time came and even though I agreed bravely, the fear within told me, I couldn’t do it. Then the time came and I was asked the question I had been dreading all along. “I can’t take a life!” I screamed inwardly but outwardly I agreed to stop the meds that kept him hanging on to a life that was already gone. It took tremendous strength to see a life get snuffed out but fear was nowhere to be seen at that time.
Sometimes it is at these moments when we think we can’t that we CAN! Fear is an all-encompassing emotion meaning it can stop you in your tracks bringing life to an absolute standstill. I’ve been there and done that. At times, life takes a pause just enough so that you can come to grips with the fear within and to see it for what it is, just a momentary lapse in time until you can gather your strength and start moving again. I’m at that stage now. The fear of the unknown has set in and everything seems scary and putting one foot in front of the other is an option I am not looking forward to. I do know, however, that this too shall pass.
“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” Unknown
I am a fearful person but I’ve stepped out of that fear mode many times. I know that I have the ability to overcome the most fearful things if need be and that for now is enough. One day, I’ll look back at my life and see the things I’ve accomplished in spite of that all consuming fear and know that it was but an imaginary hold in my mind that I created for whatever the reason.
Reality of Fear
You’re not scared of the dark.
You’re scared of what’s in it.
You’re not scared of heights.
You’re afraid of falling.
You’re not afraid of the people around you.
You’re afraid of rejection.
You’re not afraid to love.
You’re afraid of being loved back.
You’re not afraid to let go.
You’re just afraid that he’s really gone.
You’re not afraid to try again.
You’re just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.”
Unknown
Overcoming fear takes constant effort and strength. If you think about it, fear is an emotion like any other. Give it a cursory glance when it steps in as it will but then shove it out the door and move out of its way. You’re fully capable of overcoming fear. I did when I refused to let it have the upper hand. Of course, it is still my daily companion but these days it doesn’t have the strength it used to have. It shows up but it doesn’t stay for long. I don’t stand still long enough for it to take hold and that is my superpower against it.
I have many from a fear of ghosts, blood, sickness and the unknown but if I had to pick one and not from that list, it would be this one. It is the fear that “I am not enough.”
I often tell myself that I can’t do this or that or that it is impossible because I don’t have it in me to weather the storm or that I am not strong enough. I am learning that this is far from the truth. I have done so many things in my life and looking back, I don’t know where or how I got the strength to do what I needed to do to survive what life threw my way. I survived my mom’s murder, I overcame the disastrous effects of a divorce and I accompanied a friend to his deathbed and told them to stop the meds and to let him go. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. I did it all when I was faced with the circumstances and there was no running away from it and “I was enough” at those times.
I think we are all fully capable of doing the unimaginable when life demands it. In my case, I had no choice. It was there and I had to deal with it or drown and be washed away in sorrow, rage, anger and fear. I chose to stand back up and it took superhuman strength and the will to survive. The unknown or rather the fear of it is something I grapple with everyday but I know that when the next “lesson” shows up I just have to grab the bull by the horns and go with the flow knowing that “I am enough” and I will overcome whatever it is.
Daily writing prompt
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
“Don’t forget power in resetting, on any given day…you are allowed to start over, if you feel like you’re going down the wrong path, RESET.” Reyna Biddy
When the sun goes down and you find yourself staring at another day ending and you realize that progress is not being made, hit the “RESET” button. You are not stuck even though it might feel that way at times but you have the power to change whatever it is you want to change in your life. You need the mindset, know what it is you’re after, hit “reset” meaning clear the slate and start over again. .
It is not that simple I know. In fact, it might be one of the hardest things you’ll have to do because changing your mindset is not easy and it is not simple either. Old habits die hard and sometimes they are hard to give up because there is comfort in hanging on to things that feel comfortable even if in reality they are not. Laziness, putting out the least effort possible and waiting for the world to reward you for nothing in particular is not going to work and it has never worked.
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C. S. Lewis
It takes YOU to change your place in the world. Where you stand, how high or low you are in the grand scheme of things all depends on you but one thing is clear, progress needs hard work. It means falling down a few more times than you wanted to but always keeping your eyes on the prize. If you want that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you’ve got to go after it. It is human nature to want to make life simple but it has other plans for us. Life is about learning from your mistakes, saying “no” to easy and knowing that you’ve got to throw yourself into “hard” to make it happen. Falling down is part and parcel of this thing called life but standing back up and moving forward gives you another chance, another opportunity to reach your end goal. You need to be better and you need to set yourself apart from the ordinary to make it. Sparkles and sunshine sounds good but it is going to take grit and determination to get you there.
Hitting “reset” and doing the same old things over and over again is not going to do it either. You need to “refocus” to get things going again. If something is not working, focus on what it is and change it. Try different angles and attitudes and at some point you’ll get it right, at least I hope I will at some point in time. Until then, I’ll hit “reset” as many times as I need to and I’ll tell the “victim mentality” I carry around with me which keeps me from achieving my goals to hit the door as well!
So if you’re standing where I have been many many times before and watching the sun set on another fruitless day, hit “RESET.” Tomorrow is on its way, it’s a new day to work your magic on a blank slate and to have your name written there as a success story. It’s all up to you.
Reset, refocus, readjust, restart, as many times as you need to. JUST NEVER GIVE UP!” Unknown
I like to complain just like anyone else. It is a built-in mechanism that goes off when something doesn’t go right and that happens a lot. When it happens, I am in my problem-solving mode but not only that, I tend to pull my hair out and dig my heels in till I get it solved. The problem is, it takes time and I’m not very patient at times.
What do I complain about? Just about anything I guess. A lot of times it is done to let off steam and to relieve stress. Currently, it is about the world of politics. What is happening is unbelievable and to see “fascism” on the rise is horrific not to mention scary as well. Migrants have become the bane of society and to get them out at any cost, including lives lost, is nothing to sneeze at, it seems. I try not to get agitated but it is hard to do in today’s political climate. So, I complain a lot about that and since I don’t write as much as I used to, there is no avenue to vent that frustration then to let it simmer and boil! However, a few minutes out in nature and fresh air helps to calm the beast down!
The other things I complain about are just the normal day-to-day variety. Nothing significant but it does give the “stress monster” an upper-hand at times. A broken lightbulb that needs replacing, clearing snow from the sidewalk, my car acting up for no apparent reason, and a whole host of other things!
Small things that add up and when you keep adding fuel to the fire, it becomes worthy of complaining! I’m learning to tone the rhetoric down, step back and to reevaluate the situation, take a couple of much needed breaths and to move on from there.
“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown
One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com
Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown
Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.
Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.
Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how I look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler to myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws and all is the way to go.
One Day It Clicks
“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown
Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!
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