inspiration – Page 2

It’s a Mean World (Archives)

Meanness exists in all forms and it is out there. However, I want to talk to you about the people you let into your inner circle, the ones who have been given direct access to you and the ones who have the opportunity to take aim and wreck havoc in your life. The ones who show you that meanness is not only out there in the world but that it is much closer to home and if given the chance, it can bring you down to your knees.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

There is so much truth in that one little quote. The problem is we see it, we know that it is not good for us but we keep hoping for change, hoping that the person will change for the better and show you something different but it never happens. Perhaps, it is in their DNA and change in any form will not be forthcoming. At times it is a bitter pill to swallow but still we hang on hoping for the best and all we get is the same old stuff or worse. It is time to do different.

The world is not made up of sugar and spice and all things nice. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. There are those who won’t hesitate to hurt you, play with your heart, those who will use their actions to show you how little you mean to them and there are those who will break you simply because they can.

“It’s hard to be nice when the rest of the world is so mean.” Sarah Dessen

Step out into the world knowing that not everyone is nice. Pay attention to what is being shown to you. Their actions will speak louder than words. Are they liars/cheaters? Did they show you that they are and later came up with excuses for their indiscretions? Excuses or not, they’ve shown you that you can’t trust them. Believe them and take it from there. A liar/cheater is someone who takes you lightly. If you had meant more to them, they wouldn’t have gone down that path of no return. If you’re thinking they’ll change, think again. Once a cheater always a cheater. It’s somehow wired into their DNA and each time they get away with it, they become more emboldened. Betrayers betray you when it suits them. You are the last thing on their mind when they decide to cheat. It’s all about them so remember that because giving them a second chance is like, “Setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.” Breaking a heart is not a small matter but it is to them. People who truly value you will not hurt you that way and that right there is the truth of the matter.

“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.” Oprah Winfrey

Always remember your life is important. You are worthy of having good people around you and leave the mean ones out of the picture. The jealous types will make you feel like you’re guilty of doing something wrong all the time. Just because someone smiled at you, you’re at fault. If someone shows you attention, they go off the deep end. These types are insecure about themselves so everything you do is somehow not to their liking. You define your own life and stay away from these control freaks. You have nothing in common with them and love is not about control. You deserve a relationship where you can co-exist with mutual respect, love, tolerance and freedom. The freedom to be as you are. Write your own script and do it well. Get rid of all the things that do not serve you and move forward with confidence knowing that the right person is out there and waiting.

Work on finding the right people to help you build your world. The ones who will stand by you, add value to your life, be there when times are tough but most of all the ones who will show you through their actions that they are willing to make a mean world better by being the kind of people you deserve. Do not settle for anything less. Choose your friends carefully but more importantly guard your heart, know your worth and place boundaries where they need to be placed. It’s a mean world out there and not everyone is going to look out for you. You’ll have to learn if the people within your inner circle are destroyers or builders. Get rid of the destroyers, the ones who sap your energy, bring you down and are just fair-weather friends and hold onto the builders because they’re the ones who want to see you thrive and succeed in whatever you choose to do.

“It’s unfortunate because people have become so comfortable being mean.” Rachel Lindsay

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Let It Be (Archives)

Let It Be. How many times have we heard this phrase? I don’t know about you but I’ve heard it often enough mostly from well-meaning friends, people who care and those who want better for me.

Did it sink in? NOT when I was in the midst of what I call my “end of the world” meltdowns. During those times, “let it be” was the last thing on my mind. However, when you look at these three words, it does hold power behind its seemingly gentle facade. The strength lies in its ability to slow things down, to step back and to take a good hard look at the situation and to say, there is nothing left for me to do so breathe and LET IT BE. Three unassuming words but a powerhouse when it comes to comfort, acceptance and a message of hope.

I want revenge! I want my old friend “karma” to step in and do what I can’t do! I want payback! Unfortunately, revenge is a dangerous option and karma, well it takes its time and that is the problem. Payback? It doesn’t happen automatically. So what do you do while you wait for whatever it is that you’re waiting for to take place? Breathe quietly and LET IT BE.

There is comfort in knowing that you don’t have to do anything. Wipe away the tears, tone down the rhetoric and just LET IT BE.

Acceptance, well this is much more difficult. Accepting means you are ready to let go of an event or situation that has caused so much turmoil. How do you calm this beast down? Breathe deeply and LET IT BE.

Hope is a four letter word that holds power within its unassuming persona. When you zoom into this optimistic state of mind, all things are possible is the message. Armed with comfort, acceptance and hope, I’m going to breathe and LET IT BE, if only for today. Tomorrow is another story!

Today’s mantra will be?

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

The Beatles

Have an amazing day.

What a Day!

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Sometimes you wake up and you have this perfect plan in mind. Mine was to have a nice and relaxing day today. I was going to head to town after breakfast and get the Christmas presents for the people I mentioned in my post yesterday. The day was brighter than it was yesterday but there was a wind blowing. Bundle up, I told myself.

The village where I usually go to was jam-packed with people! It was still pretty early but I guess everybody had the same thing in mind. I decided to get some money from the ATM and that was where my day took a turn for the worse. The first one said, “Card declined.” Hmm….no big deal, there was a bank around the corner so I tried there. Again, “Card declined!” It was a new card and I got the pin activated successfully or so the confirmation email said. So, I went to the supermarket and the same thing! I was PISSED! Nope, not a good start to the day but luckily I had cash with me. So I bought the box of chocolates for the mail delivery person and I got a box of dates for the people at the cafe.

It was time to have a good cup of Italian coffee so I headed to my favorite place in town. They had a skeleton crew going. Most of the regulars were gone and won’t be back till next year. I took my usual seat and the boss showed up. I gave him the box of dates and his eyes lit up. “I love sweet stuff!” I said, “Enjoy.” We talked for a while and then I left still pissed about the card. Pulling into my driveway, I noticed the neighbor lady and I realized I had forgotten the bouquet of flowers for her. It was still early so I made a mental note to get it done the next time around. She waved and smiled. We talked for a while and she told me about the health issues she was having. Normal stuff in this village. We have an aging population here. I didn’t realize it then but my day was about to get worse!

I walked in, put the shopping away and decided to call stateside about my card. I was transferred here and there, business as usual. I waited and finally a supervisor came on, I told her my problem and she said, “You need to send us some information.” I was getting PISSED again! It doesn’t happen often this pissing thing, but today it was there and ready to go off the rails! I told her you have all that information already. Nope, you’ll have to do it again.

I took out the paperwork and tried sending the information but Microsoft wasn’t having it! It decided to add more oil to the fire! I got the message that my password was wrong and they needed to verify my ID! God! Passwords and me don’t jive. There’s just too many of them and I found out just how many! After going back and forth, I decided to take a step back, figured it out, and got the mail off to where it needed to go. By now, half the day was gone. I had a quick lunch, put on my boots, jacket, and scarf and headed to the fields. I needed to destress.

Once I saw the fields before me, I felt myself deflating! It was cold, the wind was blowing and there was a horde of crows having a conference of some sort cawing up a storm. The witches were not there yet but just a matter of time I figured the way my day was going! I stayed on the graveled pathway, the rest were too muddy. Taking some deep breaths, I let it go. The stress, the anger, the pissed off mood, and whatever else that needed to go. It took minutes and I found myself relaxing. It never fails, nature always has that effect on me.

After half an hour, I headed home feeling like myself again. It was time for a nice hot cup of green tea, a slice of cheesecake, yes cheesecake, and some quiet time with my little sweetheart, Chachi, the cat.

Mental Note to Self: It will get better.

Have an amazing day.

FOCUS

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It is one of the hardest things to do. You’ve got a plan in hand, all set to go, you take off and then you come to a screeching halt! What happened? Life did. Your focus is not on what you need to get done, the noise surrounding you is too loud, it is hard to concentrate and “giving up” is less work and easier to do. You are at a standstill not knowing which direction to take or worse still, you don’t have the energy to carry on.

“Starve your distractions, feed your focus.” Unknown

How do you starve your distractions? First, what are distractions? They are defined as, “things like technology (phones, social media, websites, YouTube, video games, Netflix), other people, or noises around you,” all vying for your attention and quite often they win.

“Stay focused on your goals and ignore the noise.” Unknown

Not easy to do, I know. I’ve let distractions get the better of me and what I could have achieved in a short amount of time took forever and a longer route to get there. You have a plan? If not, make one. You want to get somewhere? You’ve got to focus. Here’s the truth. If you don’t focus, you’re left by the wayside. Tony Robbins once said, “Your life is controlled by what you focus on.”

Focus on the good things and you get more of the same. Focus on doing better and you will. Focus on what’s in front of you and you’ll start moving forward.

FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!

Oh, one more thing.

“You decide how to show up, and you’d better come correct: the way you look, what you say, how you act and react. No excuses! Get in front of the mirror and own what you see. You may have to drag your fabulousness out of hiding, but it’s there.” Alyssa Edwards

AND

“The more you focus on you, the better you become.” Unknown

Cut out the noise and the excuses. Zero in on what you want. You’re allowed to waver now and then but get back on track. FOCUS, and you’re halfway there, the rest needs work!

Have an amazing day.

Loneliness (Archives)

“Find company within yourself and you’ll never spend a day alone. Find love within yourself and you’ll never have a lonely day.” Connor Chalfant

Loneliness is defined as sadness because one has no friends or company. However, it is actually a state of mind. People who are lonely have trouble connecting with others because even though they want and crave human contact, their state of mind makes it hard for them to see beyond what they are feeling. At this stage, they often see themselves as unworthy of friendship, they often feel rejected and more often than not, they voluntarily remove themselves from what is causing them hurt and that is the outside world and so the vicious cycle begins and takes hold.

Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and being an introvert can all lead to isolation and loneliness. The effects are far-reaching and at times scary. It can lead to antisocial behavior, feelings of not fitting in and worst case scenario, it can also lead to depression and suicide.

Almost everyone experiences loneliness at some time or rather and it gets worse during holidays, birthdays and other significant days. Someone close to me is dealing with symptoms of loneliness and any suggestions of help is falling on deaf ears. He is hell-bent on holding onto his new best friend “loneliness.” I think we are our own worst enemy and when we fall, we fall deep and hard. We go into the trenches and it is hard to crawl back out. We tell ourselves we are not good enough as we are, opinions matter and we see ourselves as not worthy of interacting with what is out there. At times the outside world can be cruel and for someone who is struggling it can be more than daunting. What to do short of meeting with a therapist? Perhaps these few tips might help.

Be there and show that you care.

Be patient. Irritation is the common response. Show that you’re there to listen.

Join a group, exercise class or book club. There are many other options.

Do things you enjoy.

Go for a walk.

Share your feelings.

Practice self-care. Start exercising, eat nutritious foods and get enough sleep.

Love yourself warts and all.

Most of all stay busy.

If none of the above help, here are some quotes to see life from the brighter side.

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” Mandy Hale

“It’s impossible to be lonely when you’re zesting an orange. Scrape the soft rind once and the whole room fills with fruit. Look around: you have more than enough. Always have. You just didn’t notice until now.” Mary Oliver

I love this one.

If you are feeling lonely know that you’ll always have:

“Books to nurture your mind. Hands to create and explore. Wind to calm your soul. Breathes to soothe your nerves. Nature to soak your worries away. Stars to decorate your dreams.” Emma Xie

Have an amazing day.

Mandy Hale Quotes (Archives)

Mandy Hale is a blogger turned New York Times bestselling author and speaker. She is also the creator of the Social Media movement, “The Single Woman.” Mandy has made a name for herself by empowering women with her quotes that speak to the heart of the matter. However, the self-help relationship guru remarried her toxic/narcissist ex who broke her heart many times over. She has written many books and articles about the emotional abuse and betrayals she suffered in that relationship. So WHY go back to him? Nobody knows for sure but ‘love’ does work in mysterious ways and sometimes to the detriment of ‘SELF’ and all that matters! It doesn’t change the power her quotes have to change your mindset. Here are some of them to get your day started.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake to help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

“Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.”

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.”

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

“Sometimes you have to move on without certain people. If they’re meant to be in your life, they’ll catch up.”

“You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is BRAVE, even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.”

“Just be yourself. Let people see the real imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.”

“Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.”

My favorite:

You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. (This is a hard one for me.) Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

Have an amazing day!

MOVE! (Archives)

Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin

What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.

“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’

However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!

John Wooden says,

“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”

Isn’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!

You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!

Albert Einstein once said:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

I like this one better.

“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz

Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.

MOVE!

Have an amazing day.

The Light Within (Archives)

“If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.” Rumi

Sometimes it burns brightly and at other times it flickers and there are times when it is extinguished and there is only darkness to be found. Finding your way becomes hard as darkness spreads its wings and envelops everything in its wake but that light within can be relit again. It is there and waiting for you to light it again.

“No degree of worldly darkness can extinguish the glow of a soul’s inner light.” Wes Fesler

You, my friend, are a powerful being. You have everything within you to make it through that “worldly darkness.” Did you lose someone close and your light is dimmed? Did someone walk away leaving you to find your way again? Do you feel like you don’t belong? Did someone put you down and made you feel smaller than you are? Did all these things make you feel like you are not enough? If so, reach for that light within. It is powerful and it takes more than a careless word or two, a breakup or ugliness to put out the light. Even if you take a temporary leave of absence, it waits patiently till you come back ready to burn brightly again.

“Let your light shine so brightly that others can see their way out of the dark.” Katrina Mayer

How do you get the light within to burn brightly?

It has been said through, “meditation, mindfulness, self-reflection, and acts of kindness towards oneself and others.” Practicing kindness and compassion towards others is one surefire way to light that light within and to keep it burning brightly. I give out smiles and it is a daily practice I engage in. Whenever I meet a stranger and our eyes meet, that “high-voltage” smile turns on! It has brought some unwanted attention but that aside, a smile or two comes back accompanied by this warm and fuzzy feeling and I’m ready to embrace a stranger!

“Kindness is igniting a light in someone else for no reason other than to watch them enjoy the glow.” Raktivisit.

So, my friend, be that light. It is within you and waiting to show you the way.

Did you know that, “Within your being is a source of light…..with unlimited wattage.” Put it to good use. You are powerful, you are magical, you are capable, you are beautiful and you are ENOUGH as you are. Turn on that light and step into its brightness and watch your life transform….

Have an amazing day.

This Little Light (Archives)

HE’S STILL MY LITTLE LOVE!

Waking up this morning I could hear the sound of rain on the rooftops and it sounded soothing to my ears. As I stretched in bed, I felt a warmth at my side. Then I heard soft purring and a pair of green eyes looking up at me. As our eyes touched, my little love let out a sound which sounded almost like a purr. Chachi was in his wide-awake mode and happy with the world and so was I, for the moment at least.

I whisper, “Good morning baby,” and pull him closer to me. The purring picks up in intensity and has a rhythm all its own. His fur feels soft and cuddly warm and the sideways glance he throws in my direction says more than words can say and melts my heart. Chachi walked into my life almost seven years ago and found his niche by my side and he is here to stay.

How did it happen? I don’t know. Pets have a way of doing that and the light they bring is irreplaceable. I call him my shadow. Lately, he has taken to keeping pace with me. If I’m in the kitchen, he’s there watching my every move. If I’m in the cellar, he’s right there stretched out on the floor and pretending like he’s minding his own business but in reality minding mine. Most days, I talk to him about my day and he yawns not out of boredom but more like, “Tell me more.” At least, I hope that’s what it is. When I leave the house, he stares and I can tell that this part is not the favourite part of the day for him. I kiss his forehead telling him to be a good boy and when I walk back in, he greets me with a happy dance.

Some days when I’m sad, I hold him close and my heart takes off soaring. When I need cheering up, he walks up to me with his tattered beyond repair toy bird in his mouth and throws it at my feet waiting for the “Good Boy!” pat on his forehead. Most days, we are each other’s best buddy. Lately, we’ve got a new routine, a workout routine that is. Once I start the music and start moving, he walks in and joins in. Sometimes he tries to climb up one leg. The goal is to get as many kisses as possible, who cares about working out! After he has had enough, he climbs on the bed and watches me till I finish.

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” Sigmund Freud

The light I speak of is the unspoken bond between us. A beautiful iridescent light that glows with love, respect and lots of cuddling. Of course, cats have their own way of showing love but it is love nonetheless. Instead of giving me a kiss on the mouth or on the nose, he brushes past and heads for the forehead and there he plants one right in the middle. A kiss so light and airy that my breath catches in my throat and a sigh escapes softly from my being. A lover couldn’t have done any better. We don’t speak the same language but we share a universal one, the language of love. The day is filled with tiny interludes of this nature and often it makes me feel like I’m dancing and twirling on my toes. Often I mumble, “Houston, I think we have a problem. I’m in love!”

I am thankful for this four-legged fur ball of a being who walked into my life and has taken permanent residency there and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.” Charles Dickens

Have an amazing day.

The Power Within (Archives)

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There is an unstoppable force within you and it is called the power within. It can do the impossible if you let it. You, my friend, are more than the circumstances that surround you and YOU are capable and more than enough to overcome those circumstances.

“You have the power within yourself to make anything possible, you must diminish the doubt and ignite the self belief.” Leon Brown

“The strongest force in the universe isn’t found in the stars, it’s within you! Ignite your passion, fuel it with belief, and watch as your courage sets the world ablaze.” Unknown

“Strength does not come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” Rikki Rogers

“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you.” Marcus Aurelius

“So wear your strongest posture and see your hardest times as more than just the times you fell, but a range of mountains you learned to climb.” Morgan Harper Nichols.

Just a note to the person facing the new beginning today. YOU are fully capable of handling anything and everything. Believe in yourself, hold your head up high and you have won half the battle, the rest will fall into place. Good luck on your journey today, I am rooting for you!

Have an amazing day.