Life is Fragile (Archives)

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Dedicated to someone who was very dear and near to me. You’ve moved on but the memories of a spirit that was kind and loving still remains. Fly high wherever you are and I know that you are in a better place. I do miss you especially when I take my walks alone. Sometimes I feel your presence and sometimes I talk to you. I’m sure you are giving heaven a run for the money!

“When you see how fragile and delicate life can be, all else fades into the background.” Jenna Morasca

I got a call from a friend yesterday. She told me that she had been in the hospital for a week. All is well with her but it was a scary experience. It brought home the fact that life in all its beauty is still as fragile as can be. 

A year and a half ago, I lost someone very close to me. We never thought that life with all its idiosyncrasies would throw a curveball. One so large and unexpected that when all was said and done, only one of us would be left standing to carry on.

The walk in the snow-covered world was exhilarating. Everything was covered in white and the trees looked like pictures out of a postcard. It also brought back times when we had taken those walks together. The times when snowball fights and laughter reigned supreme. Little did we know then that life as we knew it was about to change forever.

“You never think the last time is the last time. You think that there will be more. You think you have forever. But then life can quickly remind you, you don’t” Grey’s Anatomy

What if we knew that life was short? What then? Would we try to cram as much living as we can into today? Perhaps knowing just how fragile life is should make us stop and take notice, to stop procrastinating and to do and say the things we need to say before it is too late. I wish I had.

Today as I approach the top of the hill, I remember that snow-filled day as you said, “I want a selfie with the both of us in it.” We were laughing in the picture. Now I realize that there will be no more pictures, no more memories to be made and no more laughter to be shared. You’ve gone on a different journey.

I’ve said many things to you since you’ve been gone. Nothing seems enough, perhaps one day it will be and memories of you will fade and I will be at peace. Here are more of the same, more of what I wished I had said when you were here. 

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for all the times we shared. Thank you for showing me just how much love you could squeeze into that little amount of time. Thank you for showing me that I was an important part of your life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Life is fragile. All it takes is one wrong move, one unexpected turn of events and like a candle in the wind, it can be snuffed out never to be relit again. Forever is not in its vocabulary and neither is invincible. Knowing that we should make time for the important things in life, free up space by letting go of the unimportant ones and take the time to say and do the things you need to do before it is too late.  

Good Vibes (Archives)

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“One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”

Dictionary.com defines good vibes as a “slang phrase for the positive feelings given off by a person, place or situation.” When good vibes are present you feel positive emotions or rather you radiate trust, love and kindness to those around you.

“A kind word, a genuine smile, and a warm gesture can send the best vibes.” Unknown

I can agree with the genuine smile part. Sharing smiles is a part of my DNA and if we share eye-contact, a smile is the first thing you’ll see before we even exchange a word. There is nothing wrong with sharing a smile with strangers. Who knows you might have changed their day for the better and it didn’t cost you anything to do so.

However, today ‘good vibes’ was the furthest thing on my mind. Something didn’t go quite right yesterday and it triggered an emotional response which filled me with agitation and that is putting it mildly. Afterwards, I wanted to make it right but I had to give it time so I tossed and turned all night and woke up with a big chip on my shoulder and not quite ready to blow it off. I have to keep moving to stop the overthinking I told myself. I put on my old sweats, the rattiest I could find to exaggerate how I was feeling, bundled my hair on my head and looking like a nightmare, I decided to do a thorough cleaning of the bedroom especially when I could see the dust bunnies grinning at me daring me to touch them. I got all the necessary stuff ready and a big bowl of water to wipe everything clean. Good vibes at this point was nowhere to be seen! Cleaning was and is not my favorite chore but it was one way to drown out my mind so I got ready to tackle the impossible. Just as I was getting ready to start, Chachi the cat walks in, takes one look at the big bowl of water and looks at me as if to say, “What’s the pool doing in the middle of the room mom?” That was enough to light up my eyes, put a smile on my face and to bring the good vibes rushing back in. Just an example of how little it takes to change the mood in an instant if only you’re ready and willing to let it.

“Let it go. Change the channel. Turn it off. Unsubscribe. Unfriend. Unfollow. Mute. Block. Walk away. Breathe.” Unknown

The day took off on a better note afterwards and I had a clean bedroom to boot. The problem was still there but it didn’t need to fill my whole day and neither did it have the power to destroy my mood, my day and my good vibes. Here are some rules, there are seven of them to help you to get your energy back, to bring oomph back into your life and more than that to put that smile back on your face. It did on mine.

7 RULES of LIFE

Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your future.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

The person in charge of your happiness is you.

Don’t compare your life to others. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

Stop thinking so much. It’s alright not to know all the answers.

SMILE. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

So for today, GOOD VIBES ONLY!

Have an amazing day.

Breathing In Life

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It’s interesting how everything comes back to this one thing and that is breathing. We pay it very little mind as we rush through life and forget that it exists but only as something we take for granted. It is that motion of taking in a breath and letting it out that tells us we are alive but how are we breathing? Has stress made your breathing harder, has anger stopped it in its tracks or has sadness made it shallow and rhythmless? Probably all of those things and more. Yet, if we stopped breathing than life would come to a standstill.

I found some beautiful quotes that gets you thinking about this thoughtless process we call breathing. It speaks to just how beautiful and essential it is to breathe and to pay attention to the kind of breathing we are doing.

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living, heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” LR Knost

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“Stop your worrying, panicking and stressing.

BREATHE.

Remember, you made it this far through difficulties that seemed impossible. Remember how many times you were saved at the very last minute – this time is no different.” Bryant McGill

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“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

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“As you waste your breath complaining about life, someone out there is breathing their last breath.” Appreciate what you have.” Unknown

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“Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Unknown

Did something or someone take your breath away today? The Magnolia tree out back took my breath away this morning. It is getting ready to bloom and soon it will be a showpiece as it is every year and it will be enough to take your breath away. The daffodils are shaking their yellow heads, their beauty simple but breathtaking. Most of all, the lone deer that ran through the fields this morning was mesmerizing and breathtaking as I stood and watched it do its spring dance of happiness. I got my daily dose of breathtaking moments today but I’m sure there will be more tomorrow, I just need to appreciate what’s in front of me.

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“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breath and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are.” Unknown

YOU GOT THIS.

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“Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” Mary Oliver

Words to pay attention to. We deserve better don’t you think?

Have an amazing day.

The Little Big Voice (Archives)

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We’ve all heard it whenever we do something wrong, or think we have done something wrong. We hear it when we take a fall, when we fail or when we know it is wrong and still do it only to find out that it was the wrong thing to do. It is at these times that the “inner critic” within is the loudest.

It yells, “Are you stupid? Why did you do that?”

It shouts, “You knew better but YOU still had to do that! WHY?”

“Your inner critic is the voice of your fear with a megaphone.” Unknown

There are other such moments but you get the picture. According to http://www.imermelbpsychology.com.au., your inner critic is that voice in your head that has a cold, demanding, harsh, punishing or mean quality to it,” and if you look deeper or further, “It is usually experienced as an inner voice attacking a person, saying that they are bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty and so on.” wikipedia.org

It is not a nice little voice and sometimes it booms when it wants to be heard. It has a tendency to make you feel anxious and often it magnifies the bad and minimizes the good in our lives. However, the inner critic is not something you’re born with but it is developed during childhood when a child often hears harsh criticism from “parents, caretakers, teachers and peers,” and it can change the way the brain develops. When it is given constant reinforcement of such negativity it helps to internalize self-judgment and a critical stance of oneself. The unhealthy inner critic leans towards destructive criticism and it can produce feelings of shame, low self-esteem, depression, self-doubt and it can undermine your self-confidence.

“Your inner critic re-affirms untruths about yourself that you have internalized to be true.” Athena Laz

This little big voice is not your cheerleader but it is very adapt at giving you the constant thumbs-down whenever you question something you’ve done or have thought about. Instead of bolstering you up, it joins in to tear you down and dances to the tune with glee. It is also exhausting, demoralizing and tells you in its loudest voice that you are not enough.

“The negative self-talk from your inner critic can be soothed by increasing your self-compassion and self kindness.” @heytiffanyroe

According to jessicaabel.com, you can soften that harsh and demanding voice. “When you access your inner critic and give it space and self-compassion, it will be more likely to ease up on you. When we slow down, ask questions, and take a breath; when we stop and don’t try to overwhelm and undermine that voice, we’re likely to find a little bit of wisdom about something that needs to be healed.”

“Understanding how the critical inner voice has affected your actions and held you back from opportunities will open your eyes to the power you have given to your inner critic.” Usha Maharaj

Turning down the volume on all that criticism, sort of taking away that megaphone to hush that loud and critical voice is one way to do it. Slaying it is not the answer because a little bit of “inner critic” is a good thing. Letting it get out of hand is another thing altogether and learning to respond to it is a good thing as well. This takes a lot of practice because you have to switch from silencing your inner critic to listening to it with empathy. Recruit it and add it your team. That seems like a good idea because we can all use some extra help in building us up and I think it (the inner critic) wants to help but unlike your intuition which has your best interest at heart, this spoiled and often loud voice just needs some taming to make it work for you.

If all else fails, you can:

“Press the switch off button to your inner critic and start being awesome.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

TODAY (Archives)

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I woke up bright and early with good intentions all stacked up in a row to have a wonderful day. Deciding to get a few things done and after last night’s struggle with my non-working computer and printer, I decided that today would be a good one come hell or high water.

The sun was shining and all indications pointed to a bright and warm day. I took a deep breath and left the house with a smile on my face. First stop was the ATM. I needed cash so I headed to the machine I knew well. Right before I put my card in the slot, I mumbled, “Please don’t tell me it doesn’t work.” I could feel myself bristling but biting my lip silently I pushed it in. It went through the steps needed and instead of giving me the money I asked for, it said, “Card Malfunction!” I couldn’t believe it. The lady standing behind me tried hers and it worked perfectly! I’ll try the bank I said and walked back to the car. I wanted to scream but instead calmed myself down. Remember, I had good intentions of having a wonderful day.

“A good intention with a bad approach often leads to a poor result.” Thomas A. Edison

I drove to the bank and before I could talk myself into more ‘bad luck’ I decided to put a good spin on it, a voodoo spin that is. I kept telling myself, “You are the luckiest person I know.” I repeated this mantra several times and pulled into an almost empty parking lot. Walking into the bank, I noticed that out of the two money machines, one was out of order! The other one had 10 people with frustrated and angry looks on their faces waiting in line. Could it get any worse and that voodoo thing didn’t work! I stood in line biting my lip and humming quietly to myself. After several long long minutes of waiting, I approached my nemesis, stuck the card in and waited for it to say, “Card Malfunction!” To my surprise, it spitted out the money and I grabbed it before it changed its mind. What was that about a good approach? I clearly wasn’t there yet. The day was just beginning and there was still hope.

“No exact recipe for today. Gather all available ingredients and whip yourself up something delicious.” Lin-Manuel Miranda

I was going to do just that so note to grumpy self, put a smile on your face, get something good to eat and head on home. I was going to have a good day even if it kills me!

“Today is like a ripe avocado, savor it before it turns into yesterday’s guacamole.” Unknown

I don’t like guacamole but I do love fresh ripe avocados. Just saying. Anyway, I made it home and things started taking a turn for the better. My book publisher just sent some illustrations for me to look at and they look perfect. I could feel myself climbing the ladder, the ladder of positivity I mean. Could it be that positive thoughts and a good day go hand in hand? Anyway, the day is definitely getting better. Working out to my favorite music helped as well AND doing nothing but vegetating for the rest of the day suits me just fine.

YOU DO YOU! Whatever it takes to have a wonderful day DO IT. I’m adding one more thing, I’m thankful for this brand new day to make it the best day possible and I’m well on my way. Gratefulness gets you halfway there, the rest is up to you.

“Today is a perfect day to become better.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

When Life Was Simple (Archives)

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A Series on Getting Back on Track

“Things to Remember”

Eat regularly (and well)

Get enough sleep

Sometimes being a bitch is necessary

Stop talking and listen

Don’t take anyone’s shit

Things WILL get better

If someone can’t make the effort to be in your life – they don’t deserve to be there.

It only ends once, everything else is just progress.

A good cup of tea can solve just about anything.

Stick to your guns.

Impromptu solo dance parties are good for your health.

Spend time with the people who matter the most.” Unknown

I remember a time when life was simple. Having my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground was a daily and joyous norm for me. Twirling on my toes, watching clouds go by on my back and chasing rainbows and dreams was what life was about way back when I was young and life was simple.

Splashing in duck puddles on a rainy day with only the ducks for company was absolute heaven. Covered in mud from head to toe and looking like a gypsy was a badge I wore with pride. Talking to unseen beings who only existed in my mind didn’t matter because it made life simple.

Chasing rainbow colored fish in a dirty stream made it the absolute highlight of my day and when I had a few wriggling in my hands with the sunlight reflecting off their multi-hued bodies made it even more so. Boys….hmm….boys were of no importance except as buddies. They did not have the power to touch my heart but that was way back when things were simple and I had wings.

Dancing in the rain, jumping over puddles of water and squealing with laughter meant I was one with nature. Anger, hurt and pain were unknown in a life where nothing mattered except for the magic I created within myself. Joy was an everyday occurrence but it became a thing of the past. It was way back when things were simple. I am a grown-up now.

Adulthood is defined as or means that, “they are an adult or that they behave in a responsible way.”

Someone asked me not too long ago why I couldn’t behave the same way. The answer is simple. Grown-ups or adults behave in a specific way. Propriety demands that I “conform to what is socially acceptable in conduct or speech.”

Going back to the quote I started out with, I will choose a few I can live with.

“Sometimes being a bitch is necessary.” This is an alien concept to me as being a “bitch” is way beyond my grasp of being a good person. Lately, I am learning that it is a necessary step to where I want to get to in my journey of life. A bitch is applied to a woman and defined as “someone, who is belligerent, unreasonable, malicious, controlling, aggressive or dominant.” Perhaps I need to apply this concept on my way to arriving at my end goal. Life is not that simple anymore.

“If someone can’t make the effort to be in your life – they don’t deserve to be there.” This is a hard one. Where once “men” were of no consequence, growing up means learning to deal with this species. If you thought women were difficult to comprehend, try dealing with this group! The end point is, if they can’t be bothered to be in your life and every effort is just lukewarm or worse cold then it is time to put your “bitch” shoes on and move on. Life is too short and neither is it just in black and white. It is complicated enough as it is and perhaps we make it more complicated. It boils down to, if you can’t make an effort, it is time for you to go.

Last but not least, “Spend time with people who matter most.” These are people who show up when times are tough. The ones who are not just “fair weather friends” but who are there without being asked. Get rid of the liars, the ones who have lying built into their DNA, this is a necessary step in making your life simple again. Liars are not worthy of your time and space because they say one thing and behave as if you don’t matter.  Walk and don’t look back!

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” Hans Hofmann

Looks easy enough doesn’t it but believe me it is not. You can get back to the basics. You can still dance in the rain, imagine yourself splashing in puddles and envision yourself in a much simpler time and place. Truth is it takes imagination, hard work, determination and courage to get back to that place of simplicity. Complicated is just in your mind.

Have an amazing day.

The Power Within (Archives)

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There is an unstoppable force within you and it is called the power within. It can do the impossible if you let it. You, my friend, are more than the circumstances that surround you and YOU are capable and more than enough to overcome those circumstances.

“You have the power within yourself to make anything possible, you must diminish the doubt and ignite the self belief.” Leon Brown

“The strongest force in the universe isn’t found in the stars, it’s within you! Ignite your passion, fuel it with belief, and watch as your courage sets the world ablaze.” Unknown

“Strength does not come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” Rikki Rogers

“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you.” Marcus Aurelius

“So wear your strongest posture and see your hardest times as more than just the times you fell, but a range of mountains you learned to climb.” Morgan Harper Nichols.

Just a note to the person facing the new beginning today. YOU are fully capable of handling anything and everything. Believe in yourself, hold your head up high and you have won half the battle, the rest will fall into place. Good luck on your journey today, I am rooting for you!

Have an amazing day.

Mandy Hale Quotes

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Mandy Hale is a blogger turned New York Times bestselling author and speaker but what captures your attention as far as her quotes are concerned is her ability to connect to the heart of the matter. She is “inspirational, straight-talking. witty” and she empowers women around the world with her quotes. Here are some of my favorites for you to enjoy.

“The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude.”

“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.”

“The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be.”

“Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path.”

“To make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect, you just have to care.”

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.”

“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is BRAVE, even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.”

“Don’t sacrifice your peace trying to point out someone’s true colors, lack of character always reveals itself in the end.”

“There is no model, no actress, no Miss America contender that can outshine a happy, confident, secure woman.”

“The real character of a person is revealed not in how they begin a relationship, but how they end one.”

The next one is where I’m at and it’s hard trusting and believing that “better” is on the way but I’m going to take that chance.

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.”

Pay attention to this one. There is a whole world of truth in that one quote.

“The right man for you will move mountains to be with you, he won’t hide behind them.”

Lastly,

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Have an amazing day.

LOL! (Archives)

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It has been said that laughter is good for you. According to the MayoClinic people, it can: “Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. Activate and relieve your stress response.”

That said, it lifts up your face, puts a happy smile on your whole being and on days like today when nothing much is happening and it is cloudy and windy outside, it helps to bump up your mood.

Here are some quotes to get you laughing and put a smile on your face as it did on mine.

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Woman’s Day

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“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” Unknown

By the way I feel like that all the time!

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“Life is not a fairytale, if you lose your shoe at midnight, YOU’RE DRUNK.” Unknown

Probably from some poor girl who didn’t get her guy!

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“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” Charlie Brown

Yup that’s me right there!

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Dear life, when I said, “can my day get any worse It was a rhetorical question not a challenge.” Unknown

I don’t care is the reply so buckle up!

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“The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.” Sophie Monroe

Been there many times over!

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“I am yours, no refunds.” Unknown

This one is scary! You mean I can’t return you and get a better model?!!

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“Love is a lot like gas, if you have to force it, it’s probably sh**!” Stephen K. Amos

And with that, have a great day.

Yesterday (Archives)

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Someone once said, you are NOT yesterday. True but the stories we tell ourselves, the narratives that we trap ourselves in sometimes tell us that we are. Yesterday does carry some weight because it helps to define who we are today. The memories of yesterday can mold or break us, it can teach us not to do the same things over and over again and more often than not, it gives us the strength to carry on. The truth of the matter is that we cannot rewrite history and we cannot go back and change the outcome of a story that happened and is now done with. Yesterday is just that, it was and is a part of our past and except for the revisits from time to time of well-kept memories, it is nothing more than that. It is a story that is finished, it has taken its final bow or curtain call and so must we by letting it go.

This is what I tell myself on the journey I am on. I can’t keep carrying yesterday on my back or like an albatross around my neck. The load is heavy and it makes me want to stop, turn around and run back to what was familiar even if that familiarity has the power to hurt like hell. The unknown before me is terrifying and anything is better than this right? What’s in front is shrouded in fog, it is dark and foreboding and forging through it takes superhuman effort but the small negative voice within me which at times roars like a waterfall tells me that I can’t do it! Take small steps, one step at a time, you don’t have to know everything, just trust and you will get there says this other shaky voice but there are no other options, moving forward is where I need to go. 

Sometimes it is the boundaries we place around ourselves that trap us, that tell us that the imaginary world we live in is so much better than what is waiting out there. Sure it was painful but there was greatness too. It was filled with things I knew and cherished, in one word, it is irreplaceable. The stories we tell ourselves are the fences we place around us. Was yesterday that great? Did we embellish it like a Christmas tree to make it sparkle and shine when the reality is a different story? Do the stories we tell ourselves distort reality and yet it is the truth as we see it or is it because we want to see it that way? 

Harold R. Johnson said, “We are all story. We are the stories we are told and we are the stories we tell ourselves. To change our circumstances, we need to change our story: edit it, modify it, or completely rewrite it.”

I don’t want to completely rewrite my past. I want to take the good parts with me, the bad parts I want to thank for teaching me lessons I would not have learned otherwise and the pain? Well, I want to leave that behind where it belongs. Enough tears have been shed, enough wishing that it could have been different has not made it less so and closing the door behind me and moving on is the way to go. The next chapter is waiting and yesterday is done with. 

“Forget yesterday – it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow – you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and heart to a truly precious gift – today.” Steve Maraboli

Here’s to yesterday. You taught me lessons I didn’t want to learn but had to accept. You gave me memories I will forever treasure. You made me who I am today and for that I will forever be thankful.

Today is a blank slate.

Have an amazing day.