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Stay Calm, Stay Focused (Archives)

Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.

“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown

Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown

Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focus on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Have an amazing day.

Principled

I don’t know if being principled is a good trait since it has caused unnecessary pain in times past because I refused to stray from what I thought was right and being rigid and principled sometimes means that you get the short end of the stick as well.

We live in a world where “principles” are not as important as they use to be. Bending the rules to suit your needs has become part and parcel of behavior in today’s society. However, I have held on steadfastly to my principles.

The good thing about being principled is that you are committed to integrity, honesty and you are responsible in your actions . There is a certain moral compass that enables you to come across as a trustworthy and reliable person. The bad thing? It can be a hindrance because people may view you as a person who has a stick so far up the you know what that there is no getting you to see their side of things. Been there, done that, and I continue to do that!

However, it is their opinion. I like being principled and there are certain things I will stand for and others absolutely not.

Spinster for life? Who knows only time will tell. I might be like that captain who went down with his ship bearing full responsibility for the vessel, only I will be holding onto my principles till the very end!

Daily writing prompt

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

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Embracing Silence

“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown

Human nature is such that when we think or perceive that a wrong has been done, “silence” one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal is overlooked and venting comes to the forefront. Sure, it feels better after a vent and rage session BUT did you achieve anything?

“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” Elbert Hubbard

It’s like “throwing pearls before swine” and it translates into, “to offer something valuable to those who will not appreciate or understand its worth.” Herein likes the truth of the matter. If the person never appreciated you in the first place, no amount of anger, rage, or venting is going to make them change their mind. It boils down to, “You didn’t matter to them.” The truth hurts doesn’t it? Sure it does, but don’t expect them to see that hurt because they won’t. The thing is, they don’t care. YOU have to learn that not all responses, rejections, or insults deserve a response. Pick your battles carefully and to someone who didn’t see your worth in the first place, this is a losing one. It is time to close the door and to move on.

“Sometimes, silence is the best revenge. Not every lie or deceit deserves your reaction. Embrace the power of quiet strength and let your peace speak louder than words.” Unknown

In times past, any wrongdoing was met with strong words, anger and even sadness but these days I “embrace silence” and I go within to find my strength and that is where my power resides.

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi

Believe me, HEAR you will. You will not only hear but also see clearly all the unworthy things you put up with. How you gave credit to someone who didn’t deserve an iota of it and how you stood by and let them take your heart for a ride of the unsavory kind. I guess you can say I’ve matured because “letting go” of such individuals has become a matter of fact thing. I let my silence do the talking. However, when you do embrace silence, don’t expect that they’ll come running back. Accept it as water under the bridge because the wrongdoers know what they’re about and your silence is not going to change them.

There is no winning, just a conscious decision to let go and let it float away. There will be better days and better people on the way. The wrong ones will fade away. You just need to detach from the drama. Don’t let your emotions control you, open your mind and observe carefully. Embracing silence helps you to do just that. Here’s the thing, not everyone deserves access to your emotions.

“When you understand your worth, arguments become unnecessary.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Cultural Heritage?

I’m not too big into cultural heritage. I consider myself a global citizen and as such I embrace all cultures and have made it a point to learn all there is to learn about other cultures.

As you know I spent a lot of my time in Asia and it was there that I learned to embrace the food culture. It was amazing! Each country had a different cuisine and I loved almost all of them. However, learning about what Asian culture entailed took broader thinking. There were things I liked and there were things I didn’t. I loved the friendliness of the people but some customs took getting used to. Especially the ghost month. Everything was based on the spirit world and much was done to welcome them back to earth! I found this to be spooky.

Tennessee is different. It takes getting used to. They have a certain way of talking but not as bad as Kentucky! I love the food, the landscape and the people. I have a love for country music and since Nashville was not too faraway, I loved being there. Tennesseans are usually kind and friendly and throw in good home cooking and it is a culture you can easily embrace.

European cultural heritage is diverse and like any other culture, it is steeped in folklore, art, food, and people. There are certain customs that take getting used to. One is that they are conservatives and breaking into the community is hard to do. However, the cultural heritage is captivating and there is much to learn here as I am finding out.

What aspects of my cultural heritage am I most proud of or interested in? Like I said, I don’t belong to just one, I am a mish-mash of different parts. Parts that I learned about from having experienced different aspects of the world and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I think I did that pretty well without disclosing too much!

Daily writing prompt

What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?

View all responses

Brene Brown (Archives)

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

She is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers and is the host of two award-winning podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. The lady has spent two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy. Her advice for life is, “Don’t let fear stop you.” Here are some of her quotes that will take you on a journey of self-discovery. Enjoy.

“Authencity is not something we have or don’t have. It’s a practice – a conscious choice of how we want to live.”

“Trust is not built in big, sweeping moments. It’s built in tiny moments every day.”

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

“The truth is that falling hurts. The dare is to keep being brave and feel your way back up.”

“Here’s what I think integrity is: It’s choosing courage over comfort, choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy, and practicing your values.”

“Empathy has no script. There is not a right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of, “You’re not alone.”

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

“When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending.”

AND

“At the end of day, at the end of the week, at the end of my life, I want to say that I contributed more than I criticized.”

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

Nothing against blondes but I thought this was hilarious.

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy. I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, “I have some really great news.”

I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.”

She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, and told me that she was pregnant.

I knew that she had been trying for awhile and told her I thought it was great and that I couldn’t be happier for her.

She said, “There’s more.”

I asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well we are not having just one baby. We are going to have twins.”

Amazed at how fast she could know that so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said, “I went to Walmart and they actually had a home pregnancy test in a twin pack. Both tests came out positive!”

🤣🤣🤣

Scammer Update

A few days ago I wrote about this guy who contacted me from a dating website. He seemed alright. His ammo, well-heeled, has a good job, humble, nice- looking and so on….

If you want to see what that was about, read my post, “Dating Sinkholes.” Anyway, I had more than a hunch that he was a scammer but he turned the tables on me for a little while anyway. He’s not your normal fly-by-night scammer. This guy was well-versed in the art of scamming. He came across as this awfully sweet guy who wanted to meet up.

He knew how to keep the charade going. Messages were exchanged and he was supposedly on a business trip and would be back over the weekend. Then I received a message saying, “I just got my haircut. Hopefully you will approve.” Hmm…why send that to a stranger? The one other guy who sent me a message like that was when he got that haircut because he had a date with another woman that day! I didn’t know it at the time. Yes, I do attract the same kinds. Must be something in the water or in my DNA!

Moving on….then I got a message that he had just finished dinner and was standing at the harbor looking at a beautiful sunset. He said, “If I had your Whatsapp, I could share this with you.” Right….I had told him I do not give out any personal information until I get to know the person better. Another ploy to work on a woman’s heart. I ignored that remark.

It went on…sweet messages coming from an absolute stranger but he was acting like we had something going. Saturday rolls around and I get this message. He was totally pooped from traveling and needed a day off to recuperate. Normal? Could be or he was accepting the fact that the live fish he thought he had wasn’t biting!

Here’s the thing. Scammers have a well-rehearsed script. Romance scammers try to work on your heart. They usually try to paddle sorry stories and they are pros at it. They will try to get as much personal information as they can use. The first thing is to get your Whatsapp information. They can do a lot with this. My advice, never ever give it out to someone you don’t know. The more important aspect of a scammer is that they will never meet up in person. They will agree to make a date but they will always make excuses as to why they can’t show up. Their pics are usually blurry and they won’t have more than one on there. If they do, the other person may look different like this loser’s profile pics showed.

Scammers are evolving rapidly and they are coming in with more sophisticated methods of conning or rather scamming you. Their goal is to make you part with your well-earned money. If a guy comes calling and he is too good to be true, it is probably a SCAM!

Be careful out there if you are on the dating circuit. Keep your eyes and ears open and definitely pay attention to your intuition. Take small steps and if something smells fishy…..throw it back into the water!

Have an amazing day.

ENERGY

There are many different things that give me energy throughout my day. The first one is Chachi, the cat, although he wouldn’t consider himself as a thing because he thinks he is a little Pharoah living his best life and using up one of his 9 lives!

The little guy gives me positive energy and that is important. He makes my day a whole lot brighter and listening to him moving around on padded feet gives me energy as well. The other thing that gives me energy are my daily walks in nature. It has been said that nature mirrors the human existence and I find that to be true. However, it also teaches if you are willing to listen. I get comfort from nature and I need a daily dose to keep me moving forward.

A healthy lifestyle definitely gives me energy. Food which is nourishing and full of nutrients is my go to for health and vitality. I do spend time planning my meals and ordering out is a once in a blue moon thing. I’d rather prepare it myself and know what is going in those meals to keep me healthy and full of energy rather than leave it to chance. Exercise is another thing that fills me with energy. It is a daily affair and I love working out so it makes it easier for me.

Breathing, different forms of breathing, is a daily must not the kind that we do as a routine pattern, the in and out variety but the kind that takes effort to clear your mind, gives you clarity and fills you with oxygen! It also helps to balance the brain hemispheres. I feel much better breathing like the yogis did and this practice definitely fills me up with energy.

So there you have it. Those are the things that give me energy and keep me operating at my optimal best. I’m adding as I go along but for now the ones I mentioned above work just fine.

Daily writing prompt

What things give you energy?

View all responses

LOL!

Two old men are sitting in a bar. One of them looks at the other and says: “You look familiar. Where you from?”

The second old man replies, “Ireland.”

The first old man looks astonished and says, “No way. I’m from Ireland myself, what a small world.”

The second old man then looks at the first, “What city?”

The first old man says, “Dublin.”

The second old man looks astonished. “No way, I’m from Dublin meself! What a small world.”

The first old man looks at the second old man, “What school you go to?”

The second old man replies, “Saint Mary’s class of 89.”

The first old man is absolutely baffled. “NO WAY! Saint Mary’s class of 89 myself! What a small world!”

At this point, another man comes into the bar and says to the bartender. “Hey Joe! Anything interesting going on?”

The bartender says, “Not really….but the Murphy twins are drunk again.”

😀😀😀

LOL!

Obama vs. Trump

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, “No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I’ve been in a brothel!” The second barber turned to Barack and said, “How about you, Mr. Obama?” Barack replied, “Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn’t know what the inside of a brothel smells like.”

BAM!

*************************************************************

I picked up a hitchhiker. The man got in my car and said, “Thank you for picking me up, but I mean how do you know I am not a serial killer or something?”

I said, “I don’t know for sure, but the chances of 2 serial killers being in one car would be astronomical.”

Oops! Think he survived?