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Rise Up and Stand Tall (Archives)

“Every morning you have two choices; continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.” Carmelo Anthony

I’ve found that it’s easy to stay where you’re at. It doesn’t take much effort and it is comforting. You can mope, scream at whoever wants to listen and sometimes look for someone to blame for all your woes but what does that bring you? You’re not going anywhere if you stay put. It takes strength to stand back up. It takes courage to fight the battle and it takes the fire within you to keep on going. There were times when I wanted the world to go away and to leave me be. Let me wallow in misery was what I screamed but when all was said and done, I stood back up as I have done many times before. It takes putting one foot in front of the other and to just keep moving. I didn’t know where I was going, I only knew that I couldn’t stay where I was.

“It’s ok if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire.” Unknown

One thing is for sure, standing back up is not for the weak of heart but there is no other choice. You can claw your way back up, grasp at a helping hand to give you the boost you need or you can do it on your own. Whichever way you choose, there is only one way to go. Rise up and stand tall. It’s scary I know and it takes superhuman strength to move even an inch at times and that rabbit hole is inviting. If truth be told, it is not a permanent solution. If you want to feel the light back on your face again, you’ve got to move. You are fully capable of doing it.

“Do not forget who you are and where you come from. You are made of the brightest stars and the widest oceans. You are made of the highest mountains and the tallest trees. You are made of magic and dreams, wishes and light. You have heroes, warriors, kings, queens, gods and goddesses flowing through your veins. You come from infinite possibilities and incredible odds. You are here for a reason.” Nikki Banas

Make that reason count. You, my friend, are invincible. There is magic within you and that wand you hold in your hand, invisible though it may be, it has the power to change your life. Put it to good use and don’t give that rabbit hole a second look, it’s a thing of the past. You are meant for bigger and better things. You are powerful, you are beautiful and you are enough as you are.

“Fall seven times, stand up eight, and with each rise, you’ll find your strength will multiply.” Unknown

Have an amazing and powerful day.

Positive Events

This past year has seen both good and bad events. I will talk about the good events. One of them was the publication of my book, The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie. It took forever to get it published and the waiting time was filled with frustration but there was a euphoric high when it was finally out there. Seeing it in print was a feeling I can’t really describe. Happiness was one thing, my writing being out there was another, and a certain nervousness as to what happens next followed.

I think every writer goes through those emotions. Will it make it was the other question? Will it be liked? Will it bomb? You get the drift. However, the first reviews were positive. Then more started coming in. They were mostly positive and then, it hit. I call it a bad review because it brought me back to earth with a loud thud! I was angry, sad, confused, and a whole host of other emotions I can’t even begin to describe. I decided to climb out of the hole, of my own making, and to take it in stride. Then followed more reviews and when the teachers, parents, and educators decided to join in and called it, “a classic in the making,” I was back up again.

If you’re a new author, here’s the thing. It seems that all 5-star ratings are not always a good thing, especially if you have a lot of reviews, according to you know who. Having a mix is a better way to go. I don’t know if that is true but the book is doing fine and I’m still waiting for that movie director to pick it up and say, “Here’s a hit movie in the making!” Hasn’t happened yet but fingers crossed!

The other thing that I’m still working on is to get “me” in a better place. Dating the wrong guys, putting up with false friendships, and learning to go it alone until I know what I really want and will tolerate in my life is taking some time. It is a work in progress. There has been ups and downs, falling flat on my face, picking myself back up again and thinking it is an impossible task to do. However, I am finding that I’ve made headway. The “wrong guys” have been sent packing, I’ve said goodbye to fake friendships and I am seeing a new person emerge out of the fog so to speak. She is much stronger, knows her self-worth and is ready to tackle whatever life throws her way. It doesn’t mean that I’ve made it. It just means that I’m willing to accept the challenge and to see what is out there as I make my way up the mountain top.

Will next year bring something better? I don’t know but positivity brings positivity as they say. One can only hope!

Daily writing prompt

What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?

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Christmas Time

It is that time of year when there seems to be a certain something in the air. It just feels kinder, softer and gentler. People seem friendlier, more in tune with life and rushing around becomes a “must do” and even though the hustle and bustle is not liked in some circles, it is part and parcel of the season.

Driving home yesterday, I noticed the Christmas tree vendor setting up his booth for the mad dash of Christmas tree buying. Not fake ones but ones that make your living room smell wonderful and out of the ordinary as the countdown begins to Christmas. I’ve always loved the scent of fresh pine accompanying my morning coffee as I go back in time to Christmases past.

However, it is not just about the good times, joyful times, the cozy times, but also about the moments I still hold dear in my heart. Memories of Christmases past where a special someone was there and he made Christmas so much better. The sale of Christmas trees brought back some memories that also brought a ache to the heart. He is gone now but those memories remain. The way he would make his way here excitedly on weekends ready to make Christmas a fantastic affair. A fresh tree was a must, he got the tree and I did the decorating. Menu planning was left up to me but there was always something special on the table, he made sure of that. Presents galore were all his doing and he loved giving. The Christmas tree vendor brought back some memories as I am sure more will come rushing in as we get closer to Christmas. He’s an “angel” now, this friend of mine, having earned his wings and I’m sure he’ll be singing with the rest of the angels welcoming the season in. Have a fantastic Christmas, “my angel.”

“But I am sure that I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round…as a good time, a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely.” Charles Dickens

It is a time to rejoice, to enjoy the sights and sounds of the season, to breathe a little freer and to hug a little tighter. A time to step back, to sit by the fireplace with a cup of something warm and to take in the beauty of Christmas time. Sure, memories will rush in, they will hurt at times, you will shed a few tears, but when all is said and done, it is the most beautiful time of the year.

Have an amazing day.

FOCUS

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It is one of the hardest things to do. You’ve got a plan in hand, all set to go, you take off and then you come to a screeching halt! What happened? Life did. Your focus is not on what you need to get done, the noise surrounding you is too loud, it is hard to concentrate and “giving up” is less work and easier to do. You are at a standstill not knowing which direction to take or worse still, you don’t have the energy to carry on.

“Starve your distractions, feed your focus.” Unknown

How do you starve your distractions? First, what are distractions? They are defined as, “things like technology (phones, social media, websites, YouTube, video games, Netflix), other people, or noises around you,” all vying for your attention and quite often they win.

“Stay focused on your goals and ignore the noise.” Unknown

Not easy to do, I know. I’ve let distractions get the better of me and what I could have achieved in a short amount of time took forever and a longer route to get there. You have a plan? If not, make one. You want to get somewhere? You’ve got to focus. Here’s the truth. If you don’t focus, you’re left by the wayside. Tony Robbins once said, “Your life is controlled by what you focus on.”

Focus on the good things and you get more of the same. Focus on doing better and you will. Focus on what’s in front of you and you’ll start moving forward.

FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!

Oh, one more thing.

“You decide how to show up, and you’d better come correct: the way you look, what you say, how you act and react. No excuses! Get in front of the mirror and own what you see. You may have to drag your fabulousness out of hiding, but it’s there.” Alyssa Edwards

AND

“The more you focus on you, the better you become.” Unknown

Cut out the noise and the excuses. Zero in on what you want. You’re allowed to waver now and then but get back on track. FOCUS, and you’re halfway there, the rest needs work!

Have an amazing day.

Five Things I’m Good at…

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Let’s see….hmm…..nothing comes to mind!

After much thinking, some things did come to mind. My dad used to say that I had an overactive imagination, way back when I was a little girl. I don’t disagree. It still is overactive and that is what helps my writing! If you’re wondering where does she come up with some of the stuff she writes about, blame it on “imagination” that knows no bounds!

The next thing I’m good at is taking a small problem and blowing it up into something unsolvable. When a problem shows up, I look at it and instead of dealing with it like a normal human being in a calm and collected fashion, I pull my hair out! You must be thinking that she pulls her hair out a lot. Right you are. Still, the bald spots are not showing yet because I’ve got plenty of it, hair that is! Overthinking is my arch enemy and my nemesis but I’m working on it.

The next thing I am good at is painting pictures with words. People tell me that they can imagine themselves in the story and that is a good thing. Mom was good at cooking, younger sister was good at singing and I thought I didn’t have any talents until I discovered writing. I agree with the “people” that I can and do paint pictures with words.

I’m a good mom. I was a goal-oriented and career-driven person and never thought I would be a mom one day. Finding out I was pregnant did not set too well with me. It meant giving up my career and moving to another country altogether BUT the minute I felt the little guy kick, I knew that I would be the best mom possible. I’ve always been there for my son and I guess I always will be. He’s my priority. However, Chachi, the cat, thinks he’s the priority! I tell him he’s my baby from another mommy but he says, “No mom, I’m your baby!” I suppose he’s right. I’m good at being a mom.

I’ve written about friendship here more than once. I’m a good friend or at least I try to be. Sometimes I get taken advantage of because of the “niceness” factor but I’m learning not to take everything and to let go when the so called friendship is not working out. I’ve got a criteria for friendship. Be on time, show up when in trouble or at least show that you care, stand by your friend and not jump ship at the first sign of trouble but most of all, be a good friend and not a fair-weather one.

There you are. Five things I think I’m good at. Next question please……

Daily writing prompt

Share five things you’re good at.

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One Thing I Would Change About Myself?

Hmm….just one thing? There are many things I would want to change about myself but ok, I’ll go with one and since you asked.

It would be hands done, being too nice. I have a tendency to bite the bullet and even when I want to let it rip, I step back, take a deep breath and come out smiling hiding my real feelings. It could hurt, I could think it is not fair, but still I take it in stride and instead of letting my feelings show, I let it go inside and do its job of bringing me to my knees at times and at other times, hit rock bottom.

Why? Why do I do that? I don’t know, it is part of my personality. This being “too nice” makes people view me as a pushover. Nice people end last? I think that phrase has a lot of truth to it. So, on this journey of self-discovery, I am learning to be more assertive, to not accept everything that comes my way and to say it like it is even if it is not well-received. My mental health matters, although it is a hard thing to do for someone like me.

These days, I step back and I come back wearing a cape! Ready to do battle? Not really, just standing up for myself. I am learning to like this new me but the old me still shows up wearing sackcloth and ashes and wants to talk me into going back to who I was. Not going to happen. There is something very “rejuvenating” about changing yourself for the better. Like it or not, here I am! Take it or leave it, that’s up to you.

Daily writing prompt

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

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Sunday Morning

It’s another Sunday morning and I had a sleepless night. Chachi, the cat, was in his element and sleep was the farthest thing on his mind! The little brat decided that he was going to do one better than Cristiano Ronaldo on doing the “bicycle kick!”

He spent most of the night dribbling dry kernels of food and dashing from room to room. Then he did the hoops, not a pretty sight as the little guy is a tad overweight and lands with a heavy thud every time he tries that move. If that wasn’t enough, he would run across the room meowing loudly, “Watch me mommy!” Lord, have mercy. I decided to let him have his way. He’ll eventually run out of energy but that’s where I was wrong. He was like an eveready battery with enormous amounts of energy. Note to self: Cut back on feeding him too much!

Just as I was dozing off, he jumped on the bed, came over and pressed his face on my face and rubbed it all over with his whiskers! I found out that he was marking his territory or rather his property! Cats! They’re the only household pets who need “property.” The others are contend with being fed and taken care of but this breed needs property to feel secure and to know that they have the upper hand!

After a while of listening to his loud purring, I told him to go to bed. “No way!” was his answer. It was time for another round of football and this time he upped it. He was going for Ronaldo’s bicycle kick and I must say, it was pure perfection! The Little Butterball was having the time of his life and me, not so much!

Finally, I gave up and fell asleep. This morning, the floor was covered with dried pellets of food and the little thing was fast asleep in his bed looking absolutely adorable and purring up a storm. It was time to clean up the mess so I did. What’s this thing about football? I don’t know but this little guy could give Cristiano Ronaldo a run for the money!

Have an amazing Sunday.

New-Fangled Technology!

I have an aversion to anything that is new and requires brain power to figure it out! My life revolves around “no changes” but, unfortunately, the tech giants love sitting up in tech heaven and they want to outdo each other as to who’s the smartest in the land. In their rush to come up with new-fangled technology, they oversee those of us who want to cling to the old way of doing things.

Cell phones, smart tvs, computers, and cars with so much electronic know-how that they can practically drive themselves and leave you by the wayside watching them take off on their own! I enjoyed knowing how to start, stop, and a few other things that I deemed necessary. However, my current car beeps every time or flashes a message that this or that needs looking into. Not only that, backing up is a noisy affair. I understand that it is all done in the name of safety but do we need to “beep” like the world is coming to an end! I can do without that feature.

Computers are next on the radar. I have a love-hate relationship with them. I can and can’t do without them. I want it simple so that I can get in, do my thing, and get out without pulling my hair out. It has so many features that when a question pops up on the screen, I try to get rid of it! “I don’t want to hear it!” is my response. The co-pilot, whatever that is, wants to know if I need help. “I’m fine thank you!” is my answer. Do we need so many new-fangled features? We were doing just fine when all you had to do was turn it on, do your thing, and turn it off. Maybe, tone down the constant deluge of new features and new technology. Tech Gods, are you listening?

I’m a tech klutz as I’ve mentioned here many times before but I am learning to keep up with the changes. The problem. The minute I get something down pat, it goes and changes on me! A message to all Tech Gods, find something else to do! Take a vacation and let’s slow down the insane pace of working overtime to flood the market with “things” we don’t really need!

Daily writing prompt

What technology would you be better off without, why?

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The Separation

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The hardest decision I’ve ever had to make was the decision to go separate ways. I was looking at a 16 year marriage going under and a little boy who doted on mom and dad and I knew it would break his heart and it did.

However, there was no other way out of the predicament I was in. I could pretend to stay in a marriage where one person dictated how it was going to be run. Meaning “cheating” was alright and I had no say in the matter. He learned different. Still, it wasn’t an easy thing to do. I had to take everything into consideration. I was in a foreign country, didn’t speak the language well, and I had a young boy to take care of. I still remember the letter our son wrote asking if he was the problem and if he was, he would do better. It broke my heart.

Walking away and shutting the door behind me was not an easy decision for all the reasons mentioned above but there was one other thing that took a hit. It was my self-esteem. I hit rock bottom and it took a long time and much working on myself to bring it back up. I learned that “cheating” destroys, it is a selfish act and the person who commits it, well they will do it again. It is just a matter of time. It becomes easier the next time around.

I wanted no part of that. During my journey, I also learned to find my self-worth and self-respect. It didn’t come easy but I knew that I was worth so much more and being in a mediocre relationship is not what a relationship is about. I don’t regret the decision to walk away.

Daily writing prompt

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

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My Top Three Pet Peeves

It is defined as “something that a particular person finds especially annoying.” I have plenty of those but I’ll try to stick to three that I find not only annoying but wants to make me pull my hair out!

Not being punctual is one of them. This is one of the top “pet peeves” because as a person who believes that being punctual speaks to your character, I seem to be surrounded by people who don’t give a hoot about being punctual. My first reaction is extreme annoyance, the second is to reel it in and to let it go. However, the letting go part doesn’t always work. It just gives the person more leeway to keep on doing what they do. Now, I give a few chances and then I pull the plug. Meaning it is a friendship lost instead of putting up with someone else’s tardiness.

Next on the list are liars. I can put up with one or two lies but when it is a constant and it is very evident, it becomes a pet peeve of mine. I’ve met people who make “lying” their motto and if they can get away with it, so much the better. However, once in a while they come across someone like me who can spot a liar even before they get close! My problem is, I give them enough rope to hang themselves but then I go back and take it away! Does that make sense? It does to me. Instead of sending them on the way, I play this “nice person” and try to find out why they are the way they are. No more playing “nice guy,” I am learning to be more assertive and to understand that you can’t change people. They are the way they are.

Last but not least are fake friends. People who claim to be your friend but are never there when you need them. They are there for the good times and are invisible when times get tough. I’m sure you’ve met them too. These days, I look for the “I’m with you all the way,” kind of friendship. Friendship is a hard thing to maneuver but it is made harder still when you come across fake friends. Choose carefully.

Those are three of my top pet peeves. I have plenty more but for now, these three take the cake!

Daily writing prompt

Name your top three pet peeves.

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