life – Page 14 – Site Title

The Downer!

September 4th is approaching and it seems to be flying in on wings! I’ve managed to keep my mood up but last night, it went crushing down and I was back to Square 1.

We never think about health or rather we take it for granted until something unexpected crops up that could put a new spin or twist on things. This current “scare” could potentially do that and maybe even change my day-to-day existence as I know it.

I went spiralling down last night. Once I hit rock bottom, it was time to sit up and take notice of where I was. I had fought so hard to crawl out of that rabbit hole and wowed never to go back down there again. Life in its wisdom had other plans or so it seems. However, you’re allowed to spiral and you’re allowed to hit rock bottom because “the journey” is not going to be smooth sailing and I am aware of that. You will stand still at some point and you will hit rock bottom again and wonder what happened. Life did. Take stock of where you’re at but don’t stay there for too long. It’s time to dust off and stand back up. There is no other choice.

Someone told me this story of a young man in his 40s, picture of health until he went in for a routine checkup. The scan showed one brain tumor. His partner asked, “How long does he have?” The doctor replied, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” The young man, however, did not seem fazed by the news and was ready to take another trip. He can’t do anything about it so he was not going to waste a lot of time thinking about what might lie ahead of him and instead decided to enjoy the time he had.

Another friend told me to just go read my articles! Basically, he was saying I should take the same advice I was putting out there!

They both mean well but they’re not walking in my shoes. I’m scared and that is okay. I don’t want to take the test because a tube of radiation material will be injected into my tiny tiny veins! Believe me, they are tiny. More than that, the idea of that liquid invading my body makes me cringe. What might show up is another story altogether.

So I spent time sitting at the bottom of that rabbit hole, and let the tears flow. Sometimes crying is not a bad thing. I made up all the sorry stories I could and added and embellished like I would a Christmas tree. When all was said and done, it was time to crawl back out of the hole and to start moving again. I still have more than a week before I meet my nemesis, not cheesecake this time but that big machine which may or may not change my life.

Fingers and toes crossed and a kiss on Chachi, the cat’s cute little nose for good luck!

Make Commitments Not Excuses (Archives)

“When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.” Andy Andrews

Commitment is a must if you want to succeed in getting something done, accomplish goals or simply in moving forward. However, commitment is often met with excuses and the easy route is to make an excuse for why you are not capable of doing something and to leave whatever it is that needed done just dangling in mid-air, an unfinished task so to speak. It is often accompanied by “If only I had….” at a later point in time.

“Commitment is defined as the state of quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.”

It takes work, a certain tunnel-vision to stay on the straight and narrow and to see it through. At times, it is boring and it takes tremendous effort. Excuses, on the other hand, are easy to come by.

Looking for a job is hard work because it will take effort, focus and an unwavering mentality. I really don’t want to leave my comfort zone and be out there looking is not going to cut it. I would rather be watching something on TV or playing computer games is not how you are going to be able to pay your bills. It may be fun but not in the long run. However, this excuse comes with a big price tag attached to it at a later point in time.

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Unknown

How about making excuses in a relationship? Instead of building a relationship most excuse-mongers have one foot in a relationship and out chasing rainbows looking for that pot of gold with the other. Problem is they wind up losing what they had in the first place. Their excuse is, “I’m not sure.” That is one stupid excuse because keeping several fires burning is not the answer. Dedication is. Build instead of tearing it down.

“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” Unknown

There there are all kinds of other excuses. One for every topic it seems and those excuses are the ones which keep you from achieving the goals. The all important goal of moving on in life, of making something out of life, of being with that one special someone and so on and so forth. Excuses are a dime a dozen and the path to hell is lined with them! Commitment takes courage, fortitude, a certain mindset and it is success oriented.

“Commitment is an act, not a word.” Unknown

It is what transforms a dream into a reality and it takes more than just dreaming about it. Learn what it takes to make it a reality and go after it. Never giving up is a key element and showing “excuses” the door is another sure way of getting to where you want to be. You can stay awhile in “excuses-land” but only long enough to wet your feet and then move with dedication to the end goal. If you want success, dedication and commitment is the way to go.

“There’s always a way if you’re committed.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

My Motivational Factors

Nature motivates me. Being out in the open and surrounded by nature helps to motivate me to do better. The message is clear, everything has a time and place and you don’t need to push, pull or dare. It happens as it happens and that is my motivation to stand out in the open and to know that everything is being taken care off and I am where I need to be, nothing more, nothing less.

Workouts not only help to get me physically fit but it also helps my emotional fitness. The motivating factor is do better each time I get into the workout mode. I train my body and my mind to do its best and sometimes I walk away not only fatigued but full of energy, if that makes sense. Workouts have the ability to turn on the youth code meaning it keeps you young and your joints don’t stiffen up. All good things.

My favorite thing to do is to write and it can be just a post of what I’m thinking about, what has been bugging me or just some advice on how to do things better. The motivating factor here is to get my creative juices flowing. My mind has a nice workout and I come away with a clearer perspective of things.

Last but not least, Chachi, the cat. This little furball does more to motivate me than a lot of the other things. My life revolves around the little bugger and he is my little love. He helps me to see life as half-full vs. half-empty. Hugs, kisses, and purrs all go to make up his way of getting his mom to get up and do the things she needs to get done!

The things listed above help to motivate me and to keep my life moving in the right direction. I am looking for more ways to add to that motivating factor but for now, I am happy where I’m at.

Daily writing prompt

What motivates you?

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Things I Enjoy About Writing

It is hard to put into words. Writing has always been a way to bring out what is hiding inside. The insecurities, the pain, the worries, the lessons I have learned all take on a different persona when I see it in print or on my posts. It is a way of releasing what I need to release to move on.

I also relish the free reign my mind has to go to places I wouldn’t do as a person. Yes, it takes me places and the fantasy world is lit up and full of radiance as I dance there for a while. I have the ability to let go of things I have been holding inside and it gives me an avenue to look at it with different eyes, from a distance instead of right smack in the middle of it!

Writing has helped to calm the beast that I call my mind. An hour or more of writing and I walk away feeling calmer and my insides cleared of the clutter that often resides there and sometimes I am given a blank slate to start over again but it doesn’t happen all the time because I have too much clutter and it is going to take a long time before that part happens.

Writing is about stepping into a different role. One of observer rather than having lived. Not sure if that makes sense. I take on the role of observing, dissecting and making sense of what has transpired AND how to make it better. The act of writing helps me to go deep within and to get it out there so that my inner being can breathe again and in the process I hope my writing helps others who have walked the same path I have.

The joys of writing are plenty but for me it is my way of helping my psyche to deal with things and the other thing is, I get to paint pictures with words! If you can picture every detail as you read, the colors, the sounds, the feelings and much much more, than my writing has done what it started out to do.

Daily writing prompt

What do you enjoy most about writing?

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Living Your Best Life (Archives)

“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown

One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com

Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown

Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.

Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how you look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler with myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws is the way to go.

One Day It Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown

Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!

Paradise!

I love everything or almost everything about where I live. It is like living in a place where time stood still and the “old ways” are still present. The place is green, lush, and pristine at times.

The quiet is contagious and fills your whole being. I’ve lived in places where the hustle and bustle of city life was a constant. Along with it came the noise and “thinking” the kind you do and need for writing was next to impossible. Here, it is the perfect place to get your creative juices flowing and as I sit here at my computer, it faces the big window and outside there is a tall willow tree its branches softly dancing in the breeze. The sun is shining and NOT a sound can be heard! It is pure magic.

I’ve written about the fields where I wander and it takes me places. A muddled mind filled with thoughts that don’t need to be there are wiped away as I set foot on that almost sacred space. The mountains in the distance are often shrouded in haze but they are there silently watching. The open fields against a blue sky is beautiful and the seasonal plants and trees never fail to show up on time. It’s almost like they are cued to take off when the right time comes. No work on your part is needed. The pond in the woods is beautiful and it is where the herons come to roost. In spring, the slender streams criss -crossing the forest area put on a spectacular display of daffodils all along the way. In winter, it is bare but the beauty still remains but in a subdued way.

The sleepy little village doesn’t have much to offer but if you dive deeper there is more than enough to boggle the mind. The old architecture, the beautifully manicured and well-kept graveyard, the churches with their tiny pews, and the tiny little shops, they call them convenience stores here, all go to make up a place that is carved out of history but no matter how old it gets, the beauty of a place steeped in folklore and quiet elegance still remains.

I am grateful for this place and I call it home now. I love the symphony of the birds in the trees as dawn approaches and the late evening songs as they announce the end of another wonderful day. I love the horses that sometimes walk the cobblestone streets and I LOVE the beautifully kept gardens and how the people, especially the old folks who spend most of their summer days tending their gardens with such care and love and even if their backs are bent with age, those gardens keep them going. It is something to do and it is clear that they live for those days in the sun where planting and harvesting becomes important. When winter rolls around, they go indoors and take a well-deserved rest.

I am fully blessed! I love everything about this place and I can’t see myself going back to where life was a constant mad dash and my mind was filled with the unnecessary. I hope that never happens.

Daily writing prompt

What do you love about where you live?

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Your Choice

Happiness is a choice although some may disagree. I feel that it starts from within and works its way out. It is going to take work as with everything else in life that is worth having.

“Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.”

Valerie Bertinelli.

If you’re looking at outside factors to validate your existence, if you’re waiting for people to give you what you need to be happy, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Happiness is a choice you make and therein lies the secret of being happy.

It has been said that, “true happiness isn’t a destination, but a way of living….cultivated through intentional practices.” What do you need to be happy? Money? Love? Freedom? Peace? The answer is that it takes all of those things and more. However, there are some key secrets to leading a happy life. They are, “prioritizing positive relationships, practicing gratitude, engaging in meaningful activities, and managing stress effectively.”

These are all good and positive ways you can achieve happiness and to keep it there for a while. However, it is not a switch that you turn on and off. If you want the long-lasting kind of “happiness” you need to make positive choices that help to foster dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and andorphins, the happy hormones. It is something you need to work towards and things like developing resilience, setting intentions and making good choices help to influence “your emotional state and overall well-being.”

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama

It takes time to cultivate. Daily habits of the positive nature help to get you there. Being kind to yourself helps to strengthen that happiness factor and training your mind to stay positive all help to see life not through rose-tinted glasses but for what it is. Work, work and more work!

“Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cannot escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not.” Roy T. Bennett

One small step at a time and remember that with discomfort comes growth.

Have a “happiness-filled” day!

The Haircut Trauma!

I finally got my haircut! Walking into the salon with a peace offering in hand, a box of chocolates for being a no show the other day, I had a smile carefully plastered on my face and was greeted with the same.

She was busy working on another client but turned and went, “Wow! Look at you! Your hair is sooo long!” with a sparkle in her eye. She has cut and styled my hair for many years now and I’m learning that she loves long hair! Everytime, I walk in that salon, I come out looking the same!

Anyway, I handed her the peace offering and a grin crossed her face.

HER: “Thank you! You shouldn’t have. Take a seat and I’ll be right with you!.”

I took my seat and out of the inner sanctum, a young guy appeared, not sure could have been a girl and said, “Follow me.” I was shown to the stylist’s chair and then asked, “Can I get you some tea?” This is normal procedure for a salon that charges an arm and a leg for a haircut. I opted for water but he/she brought me some tea as well.

Someone else walked out and ushered me to the shampoo bowl. What followed was heaven! My hair was shampooed, conditioned and massaged! Those were all the good parts. Then I was back in the chair and prepped for a haircut. The stylist appeared all smiles.

HER: “What can I do for you today? I wouldn’t take too much off, looks good as it is.”

ME: “It’s too long. I do want quite a bit taken off.”

A look crossed her face which said, “We’ll see about that!”

She made all the motions of clipping and trimming. Immediately I noticed that not much was being cut off. Then started the small talk. This is done to distract you! She fluffed, she measured and she trimmed, not cut, but trimmed. Then she handed me the mirror and said, “Looks lovely. Long hair suits you!”

It looked the same as when I walked in! Seeing the look of dismay on my face, she said quickly, “Let’s dry it.”

I squeaked, “It looks the same.” You’ve got to understand that in Europe, hairstylists are like Gods over here, just like the doctors and such! They know best. So, she proceeded to dry and kept saying, “It’s going to look good.” I think she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

The finished product looked a tad better but I still looked like I was all hair and very little else! I wanted to say, take it off another 3 inches! Instead, I walked out of there sans an arm and a leg and very little to show for it.

This morning I washed out all the stuff they put on there as part of the haircut experience. Lo and behold, the truth was staring me in the face. I was still “all hair” but it was shaped a little better and instead of my hair hanging long and flat, it seemed to have more life to it. However, I wanted it shorter, much shorter and the only way I was going to get that is if I did it myself!

It’s done for now. Live and let live until the next time around. Did I tell you I hate haircuts? I hate them just like the dental visits and all the things that go to make up what is needed to put your best face forward!

Have an amazing day.

YOU ARE IMPORTANT (Archives)

Quite often, we let the people we interact with on a daily basis, the world around us with its idiosyncrasies and events that happen to us interpret how we feel, how we react and how much worth we give it and if we are important or not in the grand scheme of things. I am guilty as charged.

The Dalai Lama said it best, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

Yet we do it time and time again. Just yesterday, a girlfriend broke up with her so called boyfriend. He was for all purposes a NO-GO as far as I am concerned and it was clear for all to see including her but she is in a difficult place nonetheless. Finding out she was “not important” is a devastating cross to bear even if she saw it coming. Yet, this is nothing new. We hand over how important we are in a relationship to the other person and forget in the process that YOU as a person matter and you define how important you are and what you will stand for and what you won’t put up with.

“When you are important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies and no broken promises.” Unknown

Relationships are hard enough as it is to navigate without having to deal with the “invisible man,” meaning the guy who says he loves you but when it comes down to showing you that you are important, he shows time and again that YOU are an afterthought and as far as the importance scale goes you are on the bottom rung of the ladder. No guessing game needed here. You will know and it is up to you to put yourself front and center and say, enough is enough!

“You are important and you matter.

Your voice matters.

Your life matters.

Your feelings matter.

Your story matters.

ALWAYS.” Unknown

Let me add to that. You as a person matters and don’t take yourself for granted either.

One Day It Just Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself.

You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile.

You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Steve Maraboli

Finally,

“Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher.” Unknown

You are well worth the effort and don’t let someone show you otherwise. Your worth is determined by you so stand tall and show the world that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

Have an amazing day.

CAN’T!

I don’t know about many people but I do know that “can’t” is up there on my list of words that jump up and scare the hell out of me!

When it shows up, it means that I have to face something of the unsavory nature and not to my liking. I don’t like a lot of things, I’m a stick in the mud as I have said before but that’s not all. Fear steps in and “can’t” shows up before anything else. I dig my heels in and refuse to budge. Then, I go within and come up with excuses as to why I can’t. Believe me, there are plenty of reasons why and it doesn’t have to make sense either! It’s my tried and true method to fight whatever it is that is causing the problem and to keep changes at bay.

I’ve lived with “can’t” all my life and it has made my life miserable. Things could have been a lot easier if I had looked at the problem like any normal human being would do but instead I take the other route. The crazy route where I sweat bullets and convince myself that I just can’t do what is asked of me.

Making headway into this problem took a long time. My journey of self-discovery has helped but it still crops up when I least expect it. Old habits die hard as they say. Coming back to the Daily Prompt, I do think that there are people out there who have the same problem I do. We just don’t like changes but unfortunately, life is not going to take a “NO” for an answer. Learning to live with what comes your way, accepting the changes and taking small steps to change your perception of things does help. Here’s the thing, most of the problems I thought I couldn’t handle turned out to be the ones that taught me how capable I am of doing exactly that.

Daily writing prompt

What is a word you feel that too many people use?

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