It is a beautiful morning here and after days of rain, wind, and dark skies, the sun is making a showing and it is planning to stay for a while. I decided to put my boots on, bundle up with a scarf and a coat and go traipsing in the fields. It was cold like I expected but the sun was warm as it landed softly on my face, not the burning kind that you get in summer but a softer variety that feels like a gentle kiss.
No one was out there as usual, not even the guy with the dog. We haven’t seen each other for weeks now. The weather kept me indoors and he was probably out there walking his dog but our paths didn’t cross. Oh well, there is time enough f0r that.
Today, my mind is full of thoughts dashing here and there and they need reprieve. Walking is the perfect way to get them all out there and to send them packing!
The book has been weighing heavy on my mind. I seem to be more occupied with it then I want to be. It’s like I’m eating, sleeping and doing everything else with the book in tow! Last night, I woke up several times in the middle of the night and I could see rows and rows of bad reviews dancing in front of my eyes! God, it was awful. I told myself to calm down but this morning, I jumped out of bed to check and the book seemed to be doing fine. However, if you have a book out there, it takes work to make it visible and that means hard WORK! Unless you have a fairy godmother who waves her wand and makes it all happen for you. I don’t so I have to put my thinking cap on and work at it.
Update on the stalker. He stopped sending messages a week ago but then two days ago he said, “Hi Tia, thank you for everything!” What?!! I don’t know who this guy is but he seems to be smoking something that is warping his mind! Anyway, my mind is clearer now and I feel lighter not having to worry about this loser.
What else? I went out on two dates with the cheesecake guy. Well, actually not really dates, I call them “friends just meeting up for a coffee and a chat.” The first one was and it was pleasant enough. However, he was peering into my eyes to see if the twinkle or rather the sparkle was there. He’s all about the “sparkle.” Unfortunately for him, the sparkle box is closed and there are no more sparkles to be had! Anyway, we talked about many things and it was really nice. He also brought a big bouquet of pink and white roses and that was nice too. A few days later, he called and asked for a lunch date. We went to this nice restaurant and I enjoyed the company. Just a couple of hours of good food and talking about nothing in particular. The tension wasn’t there. I didn’t have to wonder what was coming next. He dropped me off at my place, got out of the car to open the door for me, and then it came. This big, crashing, hug that left me gasping for breath and then he gave me a kiss on the cheek and as he moved to my lips, I stopped it, thanked him and I haven’t heard from him since.
Chachi says, “GOOD!”
I have another date next week. Actually it was today but I chickened out! So I moved it to next week. He seems like a nice enough guy. A medical doctor so it should be an interesting date. Even if it doesn’t work out, I get to pick his brain about things I’ve always wanted to know about doctors. Questions like, “What was the worst case you handled?” “Any spooky tales to tell?” You get the drift.
That’s about it folks. My mind is empty now and I’m ready to get started with my day and to fill my head again and this time I hope with much better stuff.
Change is hard because “our brains are wired to prefer certainty, comfort, and routine, and change threatens our sense of control and security.” Add fear of the unknown to it and it is next to impossible to accept change when it rolls around as it inevitably does because it is a part of life. Change happens whether we like it or not and learning to live with it is a must.
I dig in my heels whenever “change” shows its face around here. My first instinct is to shout out loud more out of fear than anything else. “Oh no, not you again! I don’t need any more changes in my well-organized and well-regimented life,” that is my cry. Change just smiles and takes its place patiently until I come to my senses because it knows that there is no getting away from it, and then it is time to go to work again, getting rid of the old and letting the new in.
“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.” James Belusco and Ralph Stayer
Have you ever struggled to hold onto something when letting go was the only option you had? Did you come up with excuses as to why it needed to stay? Did you turn what was staring you in the face, the truth, into more than what it was? I’m sure all of us have done that at one point or another. Hanging on to what is familiar is easy to do, not much effort is needed, and even if it hurts like hell, it is a much better option then taking the radical route. The one that takes you on a different path, the road less traveled so to speak and not knowing what is around that corner is more than frightening. If truth be told, it is the path that you’ll have to take to free yourself of what is weighing you down and it is the path that comes with changes. Those changes bring uncertainty, they bring pain, they make you accept your inadequacies and at times, they are more than uncomfortable. If you want better, accepting change is the only way to go.
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” Robin Sharma
I’m at the “messy in the middle” part. The “gorgeous” part hasn’t arrived yet and it is scary at times but I know that if I keep at it and keep moving forward one step at a time, I’ll see the light. What light? The light at the end of the tunnel. Change is hard and I’m discarding as I go and accepting some truths that are needed as I move forward. I’ll get there one day.
Sometimes accepting “change” is the only way to go. Let go of what you give value to when you know that you’re overestimating its worth. Not everything is the “next best thing since sliced bread,” and quite often it is more like stale bread! Accept changes as they come and know it will be hard until it turns into something gorgeous.
A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat. He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home.
At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later, the man calls home to his wife.
“Jen, is the cat there?”
“Yes,” the wife answers, “why do you ask?”
Frustrated, the man answered.
“Put that son of a bi**h on the phone, I’m lost and need directions!
🤣🤣🤣
Yup, I’ve got one of those. Little Einstein knows more than I do!
This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent.”
The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week, the lady goes back, “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas…..although still silent, it stinks terribly.”
“Good,” the doctor says, “now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.”
It is there, it is invisible and it stays dormant until it is called upon to show you and the world that YOU are strong, you are undefeatable and you are a force to be reckoned with. Not all of us are that strong and when life throws those lessons our way, we crumble, we push back but after all is said and done and looking back at the past you realize that “strength” was always there, it just took a little time getting there.
Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.
“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, ‘You got this, keep going.” Unknown
“Courage is not having the strength to go on, it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” Theodore Roosevelt
“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” Brene Brown
“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” Steve Maraboli
I love this next one. It shows that the spirit is not easily won over.
“I wear my bruises and scars like armor. Marks of battles fought in silence and storms endured out loud.
My pain? It’s the fire that forges resilience, a testament to the strength that refuses to break. I’m still here, unyielding and undefeated.” Unknown
“You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” Brian Tracy
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway
The last two speaks of understanding and of acceptance and still having the courage and the strength to move on.
“Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver
AND
“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” Maya Angelou
Words have incredible power and they can either build or break someone down. The saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is so far from the truth. Words have the ability to stay with you, work within you and long after all is said and done, it can still show up years down the road and still have the power to hold court if allowed to do so.
Flippancy with words comes easily to some and to some cutting you down to size using a few choice words is a daily affair. Choose your words carefully and be kind with what you put out there because unlike that quote, words do have the power to hurt and to break someone down.
Here are some quotes that hit the nail on the head:
“Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.” Unknown
“Before you say something to someone, always think about how you’d feel if someone told you the same thing.”Unknown
I like this next one a lot.
“If only our tongues were made of glass,
how much more careful we would be when we speak.” Unknown
“The world is full of hurtful words. It is full of hate. It is full of people pushing others away. Tripping them with words. Words have the same power to cause harm as a stick or rock. We need to be better than that. To learn, to understand, to refuse to be the hurt.”Unknown
“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” Joel Osteen
A man had just finished reading a new book called, “HOW YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR OWN HOME AGAIN.”
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly,
“Firstly – From now on, YOU need to understand that I AM THE MAN of this house, and simply accept that what I say goes!”
“Secondly – You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward.”
“Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me to our bedroom where we will indulge in whatever forms of lovemaking that I choose – no matter what you might have said in the past.”
“After that, you are going to draw me a warm bath so that I can relax.”
“You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me a robe.”
“Then you will massage my feet and hands.”
“Then after that’s done, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
It’s Sunday and it is raining out there. The sky is gray and the wind is blowing. The storm is refusing to take a hike and it is driving me up the wall! I came up with a great idea to pep up my mood and these hilarious quotes helped to do just that. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
“My advice to you is get married. If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates
Yup, there are many philosophers out there.
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” Rod Stewart
Hmm…..okay never mind!
“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” Dave Barry
I met several of those when my son was young and I had no book to go by.
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” Rodney Dangerfield.
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you!” Rita Mae Brown
“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies, probably because they are generally the same people.” G. K Chesterton
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” George Carlin
“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” Charlie Brown
ME TOO!
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” W. C. Fields
“When in doubt, look intelligent.” Garrison Keillor
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brene Brown
It is also the hardest thing to do. Pulling the covers over your head, staying in bed and letting the day carry on without you is the norm and putting all your attention on the one thing or couple of things that tell you, not showing up is the way to go. I think we’ve all had those days and for some, it is a daily existence and for others it is a short stop before we pick up and carry on. Whichever the case may be for you, staying put is not going to do it. It takes courage to move on.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brene Brown
Your first step to showing up for yourself is to show up as you are, fears and all. “Showing up is the act of being present and vulnerable, and courage is the ability to do so despite being afraid.” I realized that I haven’t been showing up for myself these past two weeks. Fear has stepped in and peace of mind is nowhere to be seen. I seem to be wading through thick, gooey mud and each step is painstakingly slow if at all. I want the day to go away and staying under the covers is where I would like to spend my days. However, something stopped me in my tracks yesterday. Call it courage, call it intuition, or just my mind telling me to “BUCKLE UP!” and MOVE! It worked.
Today is another day and I am moving for all I’m worth. It’s not the physical kind of moving I’m talking about but the mental and emotional kind. Enough of the self-pity, the negative self talk, and the “I can’t do this” mentality. I know I can and I will!
“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.” Unknown
It is exactly what I’m doing today. The stalker sent this message last night.
“Good evening Tia, do you know who I am?”
My answer today is, “I don’t give a flying flip!”
I’m on the move again and I intend to show up for myself with bells on! Taking your power back from whatever is holding you back is a necessary step, letting go of people who bring you down is important but more than that, knowing that you are fully capable of handling whatever comes your way is one big leap towards moving on with life.
“There will be moments in life when showing up for yourself will mean leaving behind those who don’t.” Alex Elle
Show up, take life by the horns, and move forward decisively. Exactly what I’m doing today. The sun is showing up after the storm last night and it seems to be a clear signal to get MOVING!
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