Words have incredible power and they can either build or break someone down. The saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is so far from the truth. Words have the ability to stay with you, work within you and long after all is said and done, it can still show up years down the road and still have the power to hold court if allowed to do so.
Flippancy with words comes easily to some and to some cutting you down to size using a few choice words is a daily affair. Choose your words carefully and be kind with what you put out there because unlike that quote, words do have the power to hurt and to break someone down.
Here are some quotes that hit the nail on the head:
“Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.” Unknown
“Before you say something to someone, always think about how you’d feel if someone told you the same thing.”Unknown
I like this next one a lot.
“If only our tongues were made of glass,
how much more careful we would be when we speak.” Unknown
“The world is full of hurtful words. It is full of hate. It is full of people pushing others away. Tripping them with words. Words have the same power to cause harm as a stick or rock. We need to be better than that. To learn, to understand, to refuse to be the hurt.”Unknown
“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” Joel Osteen
It’s Sunday and it is raining out there. The sky is gray and the wind is blowing. The storm is refusing to take a hike and it is driving me up the wall! I came up with a great idea to pep up my mood and these hilarious quotes helped to do just that. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
“My advice to you is get married. If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates
Yup, there are many philosophers out there.
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” Rod Stewart
Hmm…..okay never mind!
“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” Dave Barry
I met several of those when my son was young and I had no book to go by.
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” Rodney Dangerfield.
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you!” Rita Mae Brown
“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies, probably because they are generally the same people.” G. K Chesterton
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” George Carlin
“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” Charlie Brown
ME TOO!
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” W. C. Fields
“When in doubt, look intelligent.” Garrison Keillor
A friend asked me recently, “What do you seek the most?” I couldn’t give him an answer right away. It was a troubling question to say the least. I thought I knew because I had been working on exactly this for months on end but now faced with a direct question and I had no answers or rather I was unsure. I wanted to say “love” but the word that jumped in was “peace.” More specifically, “inner peace.” I think without it nothing else matters. It all boils down to just living for the sake of living.
What is inner peace? According to http://www.calm.com, “Inner peace is a deep state of calm, acceptance and contentment. It means being in harmony with yourself, others, and the world around you. It’s not about eliminating challenges or difficulties but navigating through them with a tranquil and accepting mind.”
Do I have that kind of peace in my life? Truthfully, I’m not sure. I have a tendency to let things rattle me, unnerve me, shake me to the core and kick me off balance. I know I have stress and that is nothing new. Dealing with stress has always been an uphill battle but I’m doing better. However, I still have a long ways to go. The question then arose, how do I go about securing inner peace? The kind that gives me a deep state of calm and paints my world a beautiful shade of pink? The quote below might work.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron
Sounds simple enough but let me tell you, it’s a hard one for me. I let people control my feelings, emotions and my reactions and that is the first problem. I needed simpler solutions to a tough question so I decided to go looking and turns out I’ve been doing them already!
Breathe it says. Take time out in the day to just breathe and let go. I’m learning all kinds of breathing techniques and it is not just about taking a breath in and expelling it out. The experts have honed breathing to a new high. Breathing has gone high-tech but the original version still works. Try it for a slice of good old-fashioned peace.
Mindfulness is the other technique used to achieve inner peace. Live in the present, embrace it, let it unfold and do not control. Life knows exactly what to do. A really hard one for me as I wanted the answers yesterday!
Meditation is a gold mine and don’t I know it. My early morning and evening meditation practices have worked wonders in my life. I’m calmer, my reaction to unwanted challenges is slower and my mind seems quieter than it used to be. Worth a try if tranquil peace is what you’re searching for. It takes practice to calm that fidgety mind but time and patience will get you there. There is a plus, there is nothing more delicious than unadulterated inner peace.
Nature, connect with it and it will instill peace to the depths of your soul. Something as simple as a walk will take you there. Fresh air and nature’s beauty will clear your mind and you will get a different perspective on life looking at it through nature’s viewpoint. Everything has a time and place, do not rush that is the message.
Practicing gratefulness is a big one. I’ve started practicing this simple concept and my glass went from half empty to actually quite full. Do it often enough and you won’t be lacking anything at all! Too simple? I know. Given time this technique does work because it changes your mindset from negative to a more positive one and we all need that.
If none of the above methods work, do this instead.
“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” Robert J. Sawyer
Ever since that question was thrown in my direction, I’ve been thinking about the mindset for inner peace and I have come to the conclusion that all roads lead to “inner peace” first. If you want to have a life free from chaos, disarray and turmoil, work towards inner peace and all the other things will fall into place. Challenges are a part of life both big, small and the daily variety but you can overcome if you focus, work on clearing it and MOVE ON! Standing still in one place for too long would be a big mistake. The Gambler song gives us some tips on how to do exactly that.
If you’re gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right.
You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run….
Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin’
Is knowing what to to throw away
And knowin’ what to keep
Those last three lines speak to the matter of inner peace.
Figure it out, have confidence in yourself and HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brene Brown
It is also the hardest thing to do. Pulling the covers over your head, staying in bed and letting the day carry on without you is the norm and putting all your attention on the one thing or couple of things that tell you, not showing up is the way to go. I think we’ve all had those days and for some, it is a daily existence and for others it is a short stop before we pick up and carry on. Whichever the case may be for you, staying put is not going to do it. It takes courage to move on.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brene Brown
Your first step to showing up for yourself is to show up as you are, fears and all. “Showing up is the act of being present and vulnerable, and courage is the ability to do so despite being afraid.” I realized that I haven’t been showing up for myself these past two weeks. Fear has stepped in and peace of mind is nowhere to be seen. I seem to be wading through thick, gooey mud and each step is painstakingly slow if at all. I want the day to go away and staying under the covers is where I would like to spend my days. However, something stopped me in my tracks yesterday. Call it courage, call it intuition, or just my mind telling me to “BUCKLE UP!” and MOVE! It worked.
Today is another day and I am moving for all I’m worth. It’s not the physical kind of moving I’m talking about but the mental and emotional kind. Enough of the self-pity, the negative self talk, and the “I can’t do this” mentality. I know I can and I will!
“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.” Unknown
It is exactly what I’m doing today. The stalker sent this message last night.
“Good evening Tia, do you know who I am?”
My answer today is, “I don’t give a flying flip!”
I’m on the move again and I intend to show up for myself with bells on! Taking your power back from whatever is holding you back is a necessary step, letting go of people who bring you down is important but more than that, knowing that you are fully capable of handling whatever comes your way is one big leap towards moving on with life.
“There will be moments in life when showing up for yourself will mean leaving behind those who don’t.” Alex Elle
Show up, take life by the horns, and move forward decisively. Exactly what I’m doing today. The sun is showing up after the storm last night and it seems to be a clear signal to get MOVING!
She is an American author and queer activist and her podcast “We Can Do Hard Things” won two webby awards. She is empowering, inspirational and her quotes speak to and touch the heart. It has been said that when Glennon Doyle speaks, women listen and I’m one of those women.
“When a women finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”
Exactly where I’m at now.
“I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked, “How much of this was my idea? Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?”
I’ve asked myself the self-same question and the answer is, I was free as a bird!
“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been. There is no map, we are all pioneers.”
“I do not adjust myself to please the world. I am myself wherever I am, and I let the world adjust.”
I know this journey well. I am in the midst of it.
“I have met my self and I am going to care for her fiercely.”
Doing exactly that and I am seeing the benefits.
“We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often – because we all have the wrong job description for love.”
This one made me stop in my tracks and to take a good hard look at what I’m doing.
“What I want to be, girls, is beautiful. Beautiful means ‘full of beauty.’ Beautiful is not about how you look on the outside. Beautiful is about what you’re made of. Beautiful people spend time discovering what their idea of beauty on this earth is. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day.”
Beautifully said. What’s inside makes you shine on the outside and it can beat physical beauty hands down.
“Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.”
I haven’t done much inhaling lately but boy am I exhaling!
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Anne Lamott
Exactly what I need today! I need to unplug and let the restlessness go for a while at least. I have this heavy feeling I’m carrying around and I know why. What to do about it is the question and I have no clear-cut answers. I don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill but what if it is not a molehill?
Perhaps, the restlessness arises from three days of not sleeping like I should. I kept tossing and turning and was up at around 2 in the morning and stayed awake listening to the sounds outside and with my eyes wide open! Chachi, the cat doesn’t understand it but he knows something is up. He’s not called Einstein for nothing! Chachi usually wakes me up in the mornings but now he waits in his bed and doesn’t budge even when I head downstairs. The poor guy still refuses to go in the kitchen. This morning I left to go get some things done and left him in his bed by the window in the kitchen. I came back to find him exactly where I had left him and when I picked him up and brought him out of the kitchen, he shot upstairs. Since then, he has been staying on the first floor. Something is up.
It could just be my imagination and I have a tendency to let things bug me. Fear is my companion and it doesn’t make the situation any better. To make matters worse, the weather has taken a turn for the worse and it is drizzly and gray. I decided to get out and head for the fields. There was nothing much going on out there and it was quiet and still. I needed that. Walking out there for 30 minutes gave me the “unplugging” I needed to calm my mind and to soothe my restless spirit.
I still have no answers to my problem. However, I’m sure it will sort itself out one way or another. I hope it blows away and peace returns. Sooner than later!
Fall is here and the mornings are covered in fog but by about 8:30 in the morning, the sun peeks out with blurry eyes as it tries to burn off some of the haze covering the mountains and the fields. It takes awhile before the fields are visible and the mountains are no longer hidden from view.
Today was no different. I was out there very early and not a single soul was in sight. A lone rabbit was sunning itself in the lukewarm sunshine, I guess tanking up energy for the rest of the day. One heron was visible as it stood alone pretending to not notice the human coming up the hill and heading towards its direction. The apple trees were still shrouded in white their spindly branches showing their fall cover. Not much to speak of as the apples are mostly gone and just a few leaves remain and these two will be gone in a week or two. The fields are bare, ready for their winter sleep. However, the cornfield is still there bare of corncobs but still standing straight and tall. Stephen King sure did spoil it for us didn’t he? I can’t look at cornfields without horrific images coming to mind. It is the same today as I pass them their leaves moving softly with the breeze. I try not to look in their direction as I pass them, my steps picking up pace!
Pulling my jacket closer around me to keep the cold at bay, I head to the open fields. It is cold today. As I reach the top of the hill, the rising sun is blazing orange as it heralds another beautiful fall day. Just the other day, I met my neighbor who was walking her dog and we chatted for a while. She said, gorgeous days are ahead and she wasn’t wrong about that. Fall is one of my favorite seasons and it never fails to mesmerize with its beauty. No, the leaves haven’t changed yet but they will soon enough and the whole place will be filled with color, blazing oranges, warm golds and rustic reds. It will be a sight to behold.
As I make my way back, my mind cleared of the cobwebs that had gathered there last night, I am ready to get going and to be grateful for another gorgeous day. It is going to be a beautiful day folks.
Courage is not being, “fearless.” Courage is shaking at the knees, chocking on your words, heart gripped by uncertainty, but stepping forward on your journey anyway. (Unknown)
That quote right there says it all. Courage doesn’t arrive with grand gestures but in small steps. It means showing up for yourself even if you don’t feel like it. It means getting up in the mornings and saying, “I’m going to try again.” It means staring whatever is holding you back right in the face and daring to take that first small step forward. It means moving towards that mountain top not knowing what is waiting for you there but trusting that it will be better than where you’re at right now.
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.” Napoleon Bonaparte
How often have you thrown up your hands and said, “I give up!” I’ve been there and so have you. However, it is those very moments that call for courage to step up and to put fear in its place. It is easy to run and hide, to not show up for yourself and to wear the mantle of defeat proudly. Moving on becomes heavy and each step forward, sometimes next to impossible. Courage needs practice like anything else in life. It doesn’t happen overnight and neither is it easy. Each time you face defeat as you inevitably will because life is about overcoming obstacles and nothing is going to be made easy and handed to you on a silver platter. The truth of the matter is, it takes work and sometimes hard work to achieve what you want. On your way, you will meet fear (my constant companion) and you will meet defeat. However, you are made of stronger stuff and you, my friend, are capable of showing up, time and time again until one day you are holding the letter “V” in your hands and giving whatever is holding you back a run for the money!
“COURAGE DOESN’T ALWAYS ROAR. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher
Remember practice makes perfect and “courage” in small doses is what it is about. Make a list and start with the smallest thing on that list. Work your way up one step at a time putting fear where it belongs. Good luck on your journey.
A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar, and ordered a drink.
The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table.
He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked at the biggest one in the face, and said, “I went by your grandma’s house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!”
The biker looked at him and didn’t say a word.
His buddies were confused, because he was a badass, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leaned on the table again and said, “I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!” The biker still said nothing.
His buddies were starting to get mad.
The drunk leaned on the table again and said, “I’ll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!”
The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder, and said, “Damn it, Grandpa, you’re drunk! Go home!”
I don’t know what brought this on but it seems like I’m grieving all over again. It could be the changing of the season where the days are getting shorter and darkness is coming in earlier and staying longer. Enough time has passed and it should have made it better but there are too many reminders that trigger those memories, ones that I have put aside in order to move on.
Your brother called and he checks in on me not as frequently as he used to do but once in a while. Today was one of those days. He sounded concerned about the test I had gone through and was really relieved that all turned out well. Then he said, “If there is anyone who deserves good things in her life, it is you.” It went straight to my heart but he didn’t see the tears rolling down my face. I got off that phone call and I felt the familiar strains of memories trying to fight their way back in.
Last week, while on my way to the fields, I saw a neighbor and she started up a conversation. It was strange because I never really liked her and we never made small talk before and yet there she was ready to strike up a conversation. It started off about our kids, she has a daughter the same age as my son. Then, it came. “What about …….how is he doing? I always liked him. A nice guy.” So I told her and her face dropped and then she gushed with sadness and condolences. I answered, “Thank you and yes he was a good guy.” Then I went to the fields and you were right there walking beside me, quiet and calm as you always were.
Then for some reason, the Teddy Swims song, “Let Me Love You,” came on and it took me all the way back. It was the third song you sent me and I stopped what I was doing and listened as emotions came rushing back up. Remember, the first Christmas when I invited you over for Christmas Eve dinner and I had my ex there as well? You showed up all dressed up wearing a tie but I could see the nervousness on your face. My ex was shooting daggers at you with his eyes because he felt you were encroaching on his territory but he forgot that he gave it up for a roll in the hay or two with someone who was the spitting image of Olive Oyl, Popeye’s girlfriend or was it his wife? Anyway….
Later, I asked you, “How did it go? Was it ok?”
YOU: “Oh I didn’t mind because I only had eyes for you!”
That one sentence catapulted my self-esteem back to where it should be after having felt “ugly” for months on end when he tossed me aside for everything that moved on two feet! My ex had grown out of his “nerd” phase and was ready to make up for lost time. He took the saying, “Too many women, too little time,” straight to the heart and practiced it religiously!
It has been a hard weekend. Thoughts of you still linger and sometimes it is a song that triggers it or a mere mention of you or just because and I am back to where I shouldn’t be. They say time heals all things but it sure is taking its time.
