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The Hard Years

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It was hands down the time during the breakup of my marriage. I didn’t know “HARD” until then. I was caught between a rock and a hard place and there was no escaping the pain, the confusion, the insecurities, and the feelings of loneliness that followed.

The adulterous affair he had tore our marriage apart but I think it started way before that. Success got to his head and arrogance did the rest. The problem was I was still caught up in being his wife and mother to our little boy. I didn’t see it coming. When it did I was broken beyond belief. Should I walk away? Can we mend what was broken? What about trust? Can I ever trust him again? That last part gave me the answers to my other questions. I couldn’t and without trust we were going nowhere. Divorce was next on the line. It was a very painful time because I believed in forevers and “forever” was lying in pieces around my feet along with my broken heart.

The thing that got me through the ordeal was my little boy. I saw the pain every time he looked at us. His world was changing and he wanted it to remain the same. However, there was no going back. I became his rock in more ways than one. His father was off and running. Any woman was fair game and we were left on the backburner or rather as an afterthought.

I took on the role of mom and dad and I stood by my boy like a lioness guarding her cub. Did it lessen his pain? I don’t think so but it did help him to know that he was loved and no matter what I was there for him.

The “angel” walked in after that and slowly but surely, I learned to stand back up again. No, I wasn’t fully healed, that took a long time and I couldn’t love him like he wanted. Every time he got close, I shut the door behind me! The thing about him was that he had both feet in and wasn’t about to leave. He stayed until it was his time to go. He showed me there is better out there. The kind of love that doesn’t take you for granted, the kind of love that doesn’t buckle at the slight suggestion of a storm, and the kind of love that didn’t ask but was willing to give selflessly. The sad thing, I wasn’t ready to accept it at the time.

I call him “my angel” because I truly believe that he was sent in to help me find my way again. He got me through the “the hard years” and just when I was finding my feet again, he left. His job was done.

Daily writing prompt

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?

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STOP! (Archives)

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It’s Time To STOP

Letting others decide your worth.

Forcing unhealthy connections.

Trying to ‘fix’ other people.

Dismissing your own feelings.

Thinking it’s too late to start.

Dwelling on past mistakes.

Overanalyzing everything you do. (WiseLivn)

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Time to put those items into practice. The hardest, as far as I am concerned, will be the last one. I do overanalyze everything to the point that I start out with something small and by the time I finish with it, it has been blown to gigantic proportions.

Note to Self: STOP DOING THAT!

Have an amazing day.

My Book!

I’m biased where this book is concerned since it is mine! It is a children’s book and it has some very good reviews. I think it deserves a sequel because violence is not what it is about. One reviewer called it a classic in the making. It takes children back to gentler times when dreaming was a wonderful thing to do and also to a time where anything was possible.

The sequel is finished and it has been accepted by the same publisher but I’m not going to go with them. Let’s just say that I was NOT too happy the first time around. This year has been a busy one and publishing a sequel does not seem to be on the agenda for reasons I will explain later.

About the Book

In The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie, author T. J. Mueller takes young readers on a wild and colorful journey into a world full of imagination and wonder.

Honey and Hubie set off on an exciting adventure together, exploring the unknown and discovering that the greatest treasure of all is friendship. Along the way, they meet magical characters, face challenges, and learn what it truly takes to hold onto the bonds that matter most.

This enchanting tale blends fun storytelling with a heartfelt message, making it a perfect read for children who love make-believe worlds and meaningful lessons.

📖 Available now → Buy on Amazon

Daily writing prompt

What’s a book you think deserves a sequel?

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The Villain Turned Good Guy?

Hmm….too early to think that hard! I just got up and my mind is still trying to catch up after a restless night but I’ll give it a go.

Ebenezer Scrooge comes to mind. This timeless tale has redemption built into it where the villain is concerned. The grumpy old miser with a heart as cold as stone couldn’t get into the spirit of Christmas no matter how hard he tried and since he couldn’t get into the spirit of things, he decided that everyone should be as miserable as he was.

However, his saving grace came in the form of some serious soul searching which led him into the past, present and future. He was finally able to let the warmth of the season touch his soul and everyone turned out for the better because of it.

The message was clear. “It is never too late to change.” The Charles Dickens’ classic throws the light on human connection and that benevolence and generosity are more important than Scrooge’s hostile attitude. The timeless classic goes to show that even the most negative of personas has the ability to change and for the better.

“Bah! Humbug!”

Well, the mean and miserly character changes from being miserable to being generous and kind.

That folks is a good ending to a fabulous tale, don’t you think?

Daily writing prompt

What villain actually had a good point?

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Switzerland

A long time ago when I was doing my armchair traveling, I came across pictures of this faraway land and it kept me captive. I told myself that one day I will visit this gorgeous place and even live there.

Life had other plans! I would travel the world experiencing life in some strange and wonderful places but I never made it to Switzerland! I lived in Asia and then I met my German ex and life got turned on its head. We fell in love, got married, and I got pregnant. He wanted to move back home, to a tiny little village that time forgot. Sometimes you can hear a pin drop.

I’ve raised my son here, learned to speak the language fluently, got divorced, and am learning to live here on my own. I think I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. It’s not perfect but it is perfect enough for me. If you’re a writer, this is a dream place. It is quiet so that you can hear yourself think. The fields are gorgeous and some days you may think that no one else exists! There is very little to do here but that’s okay for a recluse like me. I love the peace and quiet. The people take some getting used to, they are set in their ways and they are way too conservative. However, when you get to know them and they invite you into their circle, that’s right “invite” you in, you’ve made it and you are treated like one of them. It is how I feel now.

I’ve been to many places in the world but if I could live anywhere in the world, I would pick this one. Why? It feels like home and there is this certain something about this place. Perhaps, it is the mixture of old and new or the smiles and waves that tell me I am welcomed here, but most of all I like the feel of safety that this place gives me. It is almost crime-free and you CAN leave your doors open at night but that’s where I draw the line!

I’m not there yet and I don’t think I ever will be. I have a German friend who leaves all the windows and doors open throughout the day and through the night! He says, “there is nothing to worry about!” Hmm…from his mouth to God’s ears!

I’m in a perfect place, one that works for me and that right there is the important part.

Daily writing prompt

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

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A Little Chaos?

I think a little chaos is actually good for us and for the soul. It helps to shake things up and it helps to make a boring and mundane life a little more exciting. It also helps to show that you are alive and kicking!

However, in my case when chaos shows up it comes to stay for a while! I can’t seem to get rid of it and when it does show up, it wears a smile when it looks at me and brings a suitcase as well!

“Life is nothing without a little chaos to make it interesting.” Unknown

I would say that a little chaos is good but when it keeps showing up and does a gleeful dance, it’s time for it to go!

Have an amazing day.

Daily writing prompt

Is a little chaos actually good for us?

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Mandy Hale

I’ve been following her ever since my marriage went down South. She has plenty to say about broken relationships and how to weather the storm that follows afterwards. I’ve followed her advice and I must admit that most of her advice or quotes did help me when I was caught struggling and navigating the choppy waters of divorce and all that it entails..

Who is she? She is a blogger and New York Times bestselling author and speaker. Mandy Hale is inspirational and she cuts to the chase or rather to the heart of the matter when she talks about life and love.

Here are some of her quotes, the ones that made me stop and to think twice about the path I was on.

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.”

Absolutely true. Learn to love yourself first and when you do, you won’t put up with the nonsense that comes across as love.

“Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth, and your attitude.”

I learned this one the hard way!

“I would rather be alone with dignity than in a relationship that requires me to sacrifice my self-respect.”

This next one I LOVE!

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.”

However, I’m doing the loneliness and isolation part but I haven’t got my wings yet. I’m sure it is on its way!

She has a massive Twitter following and she inspires every single woman to live their best lives. What’s not to like?

She is my favorite blogger.

Daily writing prompt

Who is your favorite blogger to follow?

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Fully Capable of Handling Anything!

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This was a hard lesson to learn. I usually have a hard time accepting things as they are and often I try to do battle before I decide that it is time to give in and see what I can do with the situation.

The two cats moved in and my first thought, I can’t do this! I added more to that and it became the fuel that was needed to ignite it into an impossible situation. It only got better when I stepped back and took each problem as it came along. I find out now that I am fully capable of handling the two cats plus my own and they seem to be doing fine. We have a routine going and WE are happy or so it seems!

Then came the move. My son was moving away and I wore sackcloth and ashes for days on end. I told myself that I can’t go from being the “helicopter mom” to the empty nester! Guess what? It wasn’t up to me. The move took place last weekend and his things have been moved to his new place. I watched him go with tears in my eyes but that didn’t change anything. I had to deal with the aftermath. After a day or two of moping around, I decided that I am fully capable of handling this as well. We are into Day 5 after the move and I am seeing daylight again. I realize that I am learning to let go without holding on too tightly. Perhaps, that is the secret. I haven’t let go fully yet but I’m sure, it will come soon enough.

The lesson I’ve learned recently that shifted my perspective is that I am fully capable of handling problems and I am stronger than I think I am! Still hard, but I am on my way and that is the important part.

Daily writing prompt

What’s a lesson you’ve learned recently that shifted your perspective?

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LOL!

An elderly couple went to the doctors because they were concerned about memory loss. The doc put them through some tests. He told them they didn’t have to worry too much yet, but it would help if they wrote things down.

That afternoon they were sitting on the front porch enjoying the lovely June weather. The husband decides to get a bowl of ice cream and asks his wife if she would like one too.

She says, “ I would love a bowl of ice cream, but you better write it down.

“Naw – I don’t have to write it down. How would you like chocolate syrup with your ice cream?”

”I would love chocolate syrup, but you’d better write it down.”

“Don’t need to. How hard can it be? ice cream with chocolate syrup. How about nuts and whipped cream on top?”

“That sounds delicious. I’d love that, but you’d better write it down.”

”Nope. How hard can it be? Ice cream, chocolate syrup, nuts and whipped cream. I’ve got it.”

So he goes into the kitchen and she hears him rattling around for a bit. Pretty soon he comes out with two plates of bacon and eggs.

She says, “I told you to write it down. You forgot the toast!”

Looks like they are on the same wavelength! 🤣🤣🤣

My Evening Ritual

I’ve learned along the way that good sleep doesn’t come naturally. You’ve got to work at it to get your 8 hours of undisturbed sleep. Even though I eat healthy, workout, and do the right things during the day, it doesn’t mean that I can slide into bed and go to dreamland at a drop of the coin. It was easier when I was younger but now that I’m on my own and handling things by myself, good sleep needs work and I’m hell-bent on getting it!

The first thing I do is to have a nice shower. Then I change into a big roomy t-shirt, the bigger the better! Before that I slather on a good mosturizing cream but I’ve had to let that go for the past week because of the heatwave. It just made me feel sticky.

Then I make myself a cup of Ayurveda tea. It is soothing and helps to calm my nerves. Most days when evening rolls around, my nerves are on edge! Sipping warm tea and having my eyes closed for about 10 minutes helps to bring the cortisol levels down.

Some days, I do some light stretching, a short meditation, and or some deep breathing. These three get me ready for bed in no time. If that doesn’t work, I cuddle with Chachi, the Little Macho, although he has lost his pants now. Shiro, the white Persian, is wearing them with pride and she is holding a whip as well!

If I’m still buzzing after that, I watch TV for a while. It doesn’t always help to soothe but after a while it gets boring and then sleep comes rushing in!

Those are my tried and true methods of improving my sleep. It works but not always. It just depends on how stressful my day was. Some days nothing helps, I’ll just have to grit my teeth and bear it. That too is part and parcel of my evening ritual, like it or not.

Goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite!

Daily writing prompt

What do you do to improve your sleep?

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