By Foot

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I have found that a new city often requires attention.  Taxis don’t do it justice and neither do the other modes of transport.  I love exploring a new city by foot and this method has shown me some parts of the city that I wouldn’t usually see if I had decided to stay safe and go with the other methods of transport.

However, I recall one incident where I was with my ex in Cincinnati.  We were students at the time and had decided to make a trip there.  We parked the car and decided to go by foot to Germantown which is known as Over-the-Rhine.  It was a long walk and then we were in this seedy part of town.  The buildings were all run down with broken glass windows and the street was empty except for us.  I told him that this part of town didn’t look right but he insisted that we keep going.  Eventually we did find Germantown, walked around, had a cup of coffee and snack there and since it was getting dark, decided to walk back to the car.

The same street we had walked through came into view but in the fading light, it looked sinister.  Then I noticed what looked like blood spatters on the pavement.  My heart did a nervous dance and I said, “I don’t like the looks of this.”  He said, “Just keep walking.”  We passed a dilapidated store with dirty windows and that is when I saw them.  Men staring back at us from the interior.  They looked dirty, some had teeth missing, and they had this weird grin on their faces!  It was time to book it and we did.  

We were lucky that evening.  Yes, walking is a great way to see a new city but know where you are and the dangers that could arise from being in a strange city.  I wouldn’t do it again!

What’s the best way to explore a new city?

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The Song of the Beautiful Souls

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I’ve said many times before that I live in paradise. This tiny village offers everything my heart desires but most of all peace and quiet. Now, I am finding out that it offers more. That small town feel where you are not invisible is front and center here.

It is very conservative and they don’t like changes. Tradition roars like a lion here and the people are set in their ways. It wasn’t my way at all when I first walked in from a faraway land. I didn’t speak the language well and I was an outsider. It took a long time to break those barriers and to feel at home here. I do now.

However, there is something else that has taken root and I see it clearly now. I am now one of them and even though I don’t feel different something has changed. They (the villagers) have welcomed me into their hearts and it was clearly evident when I came home from my first OP. I was feeling alone but then the old lady from across the street brought me some homemade oatmeal cookies. It went straight to my heart.

Now, I am heading towards another OP next week. This morning I was busy packing and making sure I had everything I needed when the phone rang. It was the same lady and she asked if I was busy.

“Just busy packing.”

“Can you come to the back gate? I have something for you.”

“Sure, but I don’t look too good and my eyes are swollen from crying last night.”

“Oh why?”

“I’m afraid.”

“It will go fine, you’ll be ok.”

We met at the back gate and she hands me this beautifully packaged bag of fresh oatmeal cookies all tied up with a bow!

“Enough there for you to eat at home and to take some to the hospital if you need a snack there.”

I felt myself tearing up. I ran back inside and came out with the empty glass jar which had contained her homemade cherry jam.

“The jam was super delicious!”

“You’ll get another jar when you come back home and one more thing, if you need anything just call me. I’ll come and look after you!”

Ok, I could feel the waterfall starting to flow and I had to look away.

Then she added, “The neighborhood is suffering with you.” That is a literal translation but I think she meant, they are rooting for me.

Beautiful souls abound and when once I had thought that they were not MY KIND OF PEOPLE, they are showing me that I was wrong and in their own way they care. Yes, it is a small village but as far as “heart” goes they come across as giants!

The cookies will be put to good use and I will have some later today with a nice cup of coffee and thank my lucky stars for the people around here!

Have an amazing day.

Letting Go of Control (Archives)

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Most of us are “control freaks” when it comes to controlling outcomes. I know I am. We want to take whatever comes our way, things of the unsavory nature and we want to change it or we spend time, sometimes lots of it, mulling over what we cannot control and instead of letting go or accepting it as a lost cause, we try to control the narrative.

“To find calm, let go of the need to control every outcome.” Unknown

I had a tough day yesterday and “calm” had flown the coop and was nowhere to be seen. I kept playing scenarios over and over again and no matter how many times I kept playing it over, the outcome was the same. It was done and dusted and there was nothing I could do about it but to let it go. The only thing I could do was to control my feelings and how I viewed the situation. The other thing that was staring me in the face was that I had no control over the events of the day, only in how I dealt with it. It was time to let it go and I did.

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Mandy Hale

I spent most of yesterday getting angry, agitated, frustrated, and whatever else you could throw into the pot, I was ready to take it all and to run with it! Human nature is such that we love to entertain problems. Truth is, problems do show up when we least expect them and they throw us for a loop when we come face to face with them. More often than not, anger and frustration accompany problems. Not knowing how to deal with them is why they appear in succession. In my case, it is the opportunity to fall off from the path of self-discovery I was on and to VENT for all its worth! Ok, it’s alright for awhile but I see the toll it takes on my psyche and even then, I refuse to stop, hell-bent on wrecking havoc as I go along on my path of self-righteousness! The good part is, I’ve learned when to put a stop to it. It took me most of the day but when evening rolled around, I was ready to come to my senses and to look at it with a clear head.

“One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” marcandangel

Learning to let go of control is not easy because letting go of whatever it is means that you no longer have control over the situation. However, sometimes that is a good thing. You need to step back, view it from a distance and come up with solutions to break down the problem and to make it solvable. Yes, it takes time and it takes focus but it is better than going off the deep end as I did yesterday.

“Real strength isn’t control. It’s knowing when to let go.” Christopher Barzak

Have an amazing day.

When Responsibility Set In

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It was the birth of my son.  I recall feeling tired after hours and hours of being in labor but in a weird way I was truly alive.  Looking at that tiny face all scrunched up and not too pretty I might add, but there was this certain something that came alive in me.  It was more than being a mom.  I saw all my futures in him and responsibility set in, that was a frightening thought but exhilarating at the same time, if that makes sense.

I came alive like never before.  Holding him, feeding him, watching him sleep, seeing that smile for the first time, and the scent of a newborn all made me feel alive.  This little bundle of joy brought all my senses to life.  I was hooked and my goal was to do the best I could for him.  A new life was in my hands and I was going to be the best mom possible.  I have kept up that part of the bargain and I can honestly say that I have given more than a 100 percent to him.  If he sees it that way, that is another story.  I know deep in my heart that I have done the best for him.

Perhaps, there were other times that made me feel like I was truly alive but for now I would say that it was the birth of my son.  It was a new chapter, a chapter I hadn’t read yet, and one that will bring me both joy and sorrow.  No matter what, it was a time when I felt truly alive. 

What’s a moment in your life that made you feel truly alive?

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Yesterday

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It was a blur! I had my pre-op, the second one in four weeks. It was a prep for the second OP coming up and it scared the hell out of me. I was thinking that it would be similar to the last one but they turned the tables on me!

I did go through the routine of giving blood for blood tests, an urine sample was taken and then they wanted a swap. First one in the mouth, the next in cheek and then the last one had me climbing walls again! Guess where? It was where the sun don’t shine! I don’t know why but needed to be done that was what I was told.

The part that scared me was the talk with the anesthesiologist. He seemed like a nice guy, much too young, and I hoped that he knew what he was doing. I had my questions as usual and he was patient. Then I asked the all important question, “Did anyone die from general anesthesia? His answer, “I’ve been doing this for some time and I’m one of the youngest on the team and in all my years, I’ve had one person die.” My eyes flew open and he noticed. Immediately he said, “That person was a 100 years old. If you’re young and fit, you usually don’t have any adverse symptoms.” I’m not that young, I wanted to add but thought all that yoga must be doing its job! Adverse symptoms like dying? I didn’t ask that question. I was feeling jittery at this point and to add fuel to the fire he said, “There are three risk factors.” What?!! “You don’t have to worry, we’ll keep a close eye after the OP and if one of those symptoms hit, we have ways of alleviating them. We are very careful.”

“I was told that I could go home the same day.”

“That all depends on how well you do after the OP. You need to have someone to drive you home and someone there to watch over you.”

“For how long?”

“24 hours”

“I have someone for a few hours but not for 24 hours.”

He looked up from his writing and said, “Perfect, you will have to stay here.”

My head was now full of questions. Why 24 hours? This was supposed to be a simpler procedure than the last one.

I asked, “How long will this procedure take? I was told it would be shorter.”

“Two hours.”

What?!!! Why?

“We need to go in, do what we need to and look around to see if there are any other problems.”

“Everything seems to be fine. I am healing fine.”

“We’ll know once we go in.”

BAH HUMBUG!

Next was the doctor, not the one who will be doing the surgery but a member of the team. What is this team thing? I want to talk to the actual guy but no can do. I asked why this procedure will take the same amount of time when I was told otherwise. His no nonsense approach was, “You are in capable hands and we will do what is necessary to get you on your way.”

Did that quell my already restless mind? NOPE!

The date and time is set. If I get sick before then, no surgery and it will have to be rescheduled, otherwise it’s a go.

Time to pack my bag again, meet with the cat sitter to give some instructions, get the house ready including the main area where I will be spending a lot of time because walking up and down the stairs should be kept to a minimum, get the groceries I need for the week, and SCREAM!

No workouts for the first few weeks, do the seven rounds around the garden but not more, and TAKE IT EASY!

Here we go again and I am not a happy camper.

Let’s see how this one goes. If I don’t die, you’ll be hearing from me.

Have an amazing day.

My Genie Come Alive!

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I was waiting for this one, I mean for a genie to show up and grant whatever my heart desires.  Oops, sorry, genies are not that generous, they grant a few wishes and not an unlimited amount.  Why is that?  Have you ever had a genie grant you a wish?  Never?  Me neither.  

This is the time to take advantage and to ask for whatever I want right?  Bummer!  Nothing comes to mind.  Rubbing Chachi’s head and thinking hard!

Ok, genie if you’re listening, I want that guy to show up.  

What guy?

The one I’ve been dreaming of.

Hmm….keep rubbing Chachi’s head!  He’s lost somewhere and I can’t help you there.  Taking directions is not his thing and if you think you’re stubborn, wait till you meet him!  That is if he finds his way to you but I’ll say keep on dreaming!  Next wish please….

You’re no fun!  

Fun is not part of my repertoire!  I grant wishes not some impossible dream you’ve come up with.  That guy doesn’t exist….next wish please.

You do have an attitude!

Try living in a lamp and let’s see how you feel!

Okay, let’s try this one.  How about a happy life?

That’s another impossible dream where you’re concerned.  Again my dear, you have no idea what “happy”means.  Can’t do that either!

ENOUGH!  Chachi, go get him!  

Gladly mommy.  I didn’t like the looks of him anyway.  Come here guy…..I’m in the mood to play!

That was the end of the genie…..next time send me a genie that will play ball and not one that comes up with excuses!

The genie grants you a wish. What is it?

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I Don’t Do the Hustle!

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You may ask what is a side-hustle.  It is “any extra job or paid activity that you do in addition to your main full-time or part-time job to earn extra money.”  I don’t hustle and neither do I side-hustle.  I am a free person and do whatever I like and by the way, side-hustling sounds stressful and it probably is.

However, if you have your sights set on making it big or having enough money to do the things you want, it all depends on what kind of hustling you do.  Some jobs pay more and some don’t.  Dog walking doesn’t pay that much, cat sitting is not that bad since I pay quite a bit for someone to come over and cat sit my little darling.  Half an hour is about 30 euros and that is not bad money considering the fact that all you have to do is to make sure the cat has clean water, food, and the litterbox is clean.  Depending on the cat, it is an easy job.  However, if the cat is hard to handle, then that money is not worth the effort.

I’m not sure about this but I think that digital hustles such as offering computer support, selling digital products, and or virtual assistance probably pay much more and if you’re a computer or tech whiz, it wouldn’t be too much effort and you get paid good money as well.  There are people out there who wouldn’t mind paying to get some help with what needs to get done.  I’m one of them!

Side-hustle is not my thing and that is my answer to this question.  Moving on….

What are your favorite side-hustle ideas?

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The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie

When I sat down to write The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie, I wanted to capture the kind of day every child secretly hopes for: the day when the world opens up beyond the garden fence and you discover that courage and friendship live inside you. Honey, the little Italian greyhound, begins the story very much like many of us do–safe, loved, and yet quietly restless. She has a warm home, caring owners, and a familiar routine, but her heart is tugged by the idea that there might be “something more” just beyond the fence. Hubie, her bright green frog friend in a pirate hat, is that “something more” come to life: he is curiosity, mischief, and optimism all rolled into one.

As Honey follows Hubie out of the garden, the story becomes a journey through all the magic I remember from my own childhood walks in the woods: talking animals, music in the trees, and tiny folk who live in unexpected places. Along the way Honey meets the Buttercup Fairies, joins the Moppets’ grand celebration, learns to swim with the help of a graceful swan, and even helps rescue baby Carmelia from the fearsome Screeches. Each encounter is meant to feel like a small complete adventure, but they all circle back to one idea: we grow braver and kinder when we step outside our comfort zone for the sake of someone else.

At the heart of the book is the friendship between Honey and Hubie. They tease, they disagree, and they frighten each other at times, but when real danger appears, Honey finds herself willing to risk everything to protect her friend. That moment–when a quiet, uncertain little dog stands up to a threatening Screech–is the true center of the story. Hubie later tells her that real friendship is where you care so deeply for someone that you would give your life for theirs without thinking of your own. I wanted young readers to see that bravery doesn’t always roar; sometimes it looks like a trembling friend who refuses to run away.

The book is dedicated to my son, and that dedication is very real. I wrote this story hoping that he, and children everywhere, would never lose their sense of fantasy, because it is where compassion, courage, and creativity first learn to walk. Honey ends the day muddy, tired, and smelling like a skunk, but she is also changed: she has danced, swum, rescued, laughed, and learned what true friendship feels like. It is not a “perfect” ending, but a perfectly honest one–a reminder that the best days are often a little messy, a little risky, and filled with memories that last long after the bathwater runs clear.

T. J. Mueller

The book is available on Amazon.