life – Page 2 – Site Title

A Gift Like No Other!

This one makes me emotional. As gifts go this gift didn’t cost any money but it went straight to the heart and has stayed there through the years.

I remember my five-year-old son was late coming home from kindergarten. It was a short walk from there to the house but he was about an hour late and needless to say I was climbing walls! I was ready to give him a piece of my mind when he rang the doorbell. A sigh of relief rushed through me but there was anger still there or fear or both. I opened the door ready to let him know that it wasn’t ok when he looked at me with those big innocent eyes of his and handed me something he was holding in his hands. It was a small bouquet of wild flowers and they were crushed and there was no life left to be seen in them! “For you mommy,” he said. “I picked them on the way back from school.” He took the wind right out of my sails and I was left speechless which doesn’t happen often. I hugged him tightly and the smile he wore said it all. He was in love with his mommy and I was the most important person in his life at that point in time. I took those flowers carefully and put them in a small glass of water with tears in my eyes as he watched me with love in his.

It was the start of many more gifts to come. The next one came when he went on a school excursion to a zoo. I had given him some money to get an ice but instead he bought me a necklace. It was the ugliest necklace I had ever seen. Some wooden pieces were strung together and in the midst was a wooden turtle! He made me wear it for days on end and I DID. Even though I had received much more expensive gifts from others, that simple ugly piece still has a warm place in my heart and takes the place of best gift of all time, right up there with those crushed flowers.

The gifts have stopped coming , he is a young man now but once in a while he still surprises me. Sometimes it isn’t about how much money is spent on a gift to make it special, all it takes is thought and caring to show someone how much they mean to you. And those gifts did exactly that.

Daily writing prompt

Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.

View all responses

Finding Yourself

“Finding yourself” is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a child and adult that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding yourself” is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation of remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you. Unknown

I love this quote because it speaks to the truth of the matter. Quite often we ask who am I? How do I find myself again? These questions often arise after an especially hard or traumatic time and you are feeling lost. Feeling lost and not seeing a clear path ahead is normal, all of us go through it at one point or another. However, staying lost in a jungle of emotions for long periods of time is concerning and needs looking into.

Cultural conditioning does play a big part in how you see yourself. “It’s your upbringing!” I’m sure you’ve heard that one before, I have. I equate the way I react to certain things to my rigid Christian upbringing. Even though I bucked at all the rules and regulations, I couldn’t get away from my conditioning as a young Christian girl. You can take the girl out of that environment but you can’t take the deeply ingrained teachings out of the girl. So it was and is with me.

People’s opinions is a powerful tool indeed. There are good, not so good and extremely biased ones and they can help to build or tear you down. Opinions are a dime a dozen but when used as a weapon, they have the potential to hurt and to fashion your outlook on life and yourself. If you are faced with constant negative feedback, you become conditioned to expect more of the same. It’s the same for positive feedback and so people do have a hold on how you see the world. It’s easy to say let it roll off your back but some of those opinions can make or break you and that is the problem.

In the dating world, you come across many different types of men. The ones who make my skin crawl are the ones who expect “something” from the get go. By Date 3, you get the feeling that you’re expected to put out or else you are “COMPLICATED!” Heard that one before? That is an opinion purely designed to make you feel like there is something totally wrong with you if you don’t. I don’t “put out” so I’ve heard that term applied to yours truly many times over. Each time I squirm when I hear it. Two days ago a friend showed up at my door. Friend to me but he’s on another track altogether. First words out of his mouth, “Why don’t you take me upstairs?” And when he saw the look on my face he went on to add, “YOU ARE COMPLICATED!” This time around I didn’t take it sitting down. “Listen, just because you can’t get what you want does not mean I’m complicated. Besides, I’m not accepting your viewpoint of me!”

He didn’t see that one coming. He gulped like a goldfish out of water and before he could say another word, I showed him the door. The moral of this story is, you alone decide which opinions get to you, which ones you keep and which ones you throw out the door! Life is simpler that way. The power is in your hands and yes at times you have to grow a thick skin.

Inaccurate conclusions arising from what you’ve faced through your journey is another one that will make you question your self-worth and who you are as a person. Those inaccurate conclusions can be changed. It is up to you to change how you feel about yourself but only you can do that. Finding yourself takes work and it is a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness.

According to psychologytoday.com, it is a crucial step because it is the key to living a fulfilling and authentic life. Reflect on your life experiences, both positive and negative ones. What have you learned from them? How have they shaped you? Embrace your strengths, accept your weaknesses and show up in the world as your genuine self.

LEARN TO FLY AGAIN.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

It is that time of the year again. The one where you scramble to show your significant other just how important they are. Roses, chocolates, nice dinners and so on come into play. According to one source, Valentine’s Day originated a long time ago, in 496 A.D. to honor St. Valentine. It turned from a religious feast to a romantic one in the 14th century. Now, it is a commercialized affair with cards, gifts and a love “gusto” that transcends the normal!

What is love?

“Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I decided to look a little deeper and found some quotes that describe love in all its entirety and here are some of my favorites.

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” Paulo Coelho

Paulo has a way with words and in the most romantic way. I’m still waiting to see what the universe has conspired for me.

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times.” Ann Landers

I like the next one a lot. Why? Because I am a romantic at heart and it speaks to my soul. See what I mean?

“Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.” Torquato Tasso

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.” Unknown

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde

Oscar said it well, don’t you think? Simply beautiful but I haven’t found him yet. Still looking!

“The real lover is a man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” Marilyn Monroe

Who knew Ms. Monroe had it in her. The blonde bombshell went deeper than her looks and I love that quote.

Next is my girl, Carrie Bradshaw. She knows her love material well.

“I am someone who is looking for real love; ridiculous. inconvenient. consuming. can’t-live-without-each other love.”

“I’d like to think that people have more than one soulmate. If you miss one, along comes another. Like cabs.”

I am not too sure about that one. Perhaps they won’t be called soulmates anymore. Just run of the mill types who walk in and out of your life and that might be a more appropriate description.

My favorite of them all is this one below.

“The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you’re feeling down, and will give their smile when it’s hard for you to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that’s meant to love you wants to see the best of you, not the hurt you! Never forget that.” Trent Shelton

Feeling all loved up? I know I am.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 😍💞💕♥️

LOL!

I found this totally hilarious and true to a T! I’ve had a couple of them pull up behind me and they scared the h**l out of me! So this one resonates totally.

DIARY OF A BMW DRIVER..

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars

First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew – that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They’re not free points either – they’re £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

The Dating World

I put a stop to dating towards the end of last year because I was up to my neck with meeting the no-good-two-timing types! All was nice and quiet in my world after that without the constant hassle of meeting one or the other of these types. Chachi, the cat, was perfectly fine with this decision. In fact, he went around the house carrying a banner that read, “I’m in heaven!”

Needless to say, I decided to give it another try. I put on my magnifying glasses and went through the parade of potentials all eager to meet the woman of their dreams! I was on the same boat. I wanted to meet that one special guy as well. Nope, I haven’t given up hope yet.

I had many invites but since I had my double-strength magnifying glasses on, nothing panned out. Okay, they were nice guys and I even had some conversations going with one or the other. However, I was not out of my recluse mode yet so I kept making excuses.

Then two days ago, I got an invite that blew me out of the water! It was from a tall, muscular guy and below the “Hello” was a pic of a blonde woman holding a champagne glass. She was nicely built and looked like she had been around the block several times, if you know what I mean. If you don’t, it doesn’t matter. So, he wrote me an epistle introducing himself and his partner, the blonde woman. They were looking for a third party to join in their festivities and if that wasn’t enough, he wanted to add their “sweet” dog into the mix for added fun!

I’m straight as an arrow and at first, I didn’t know what he was talking about. After reading it through three times and still at a loss for words, I asked a friend and he explained it in his no-nonsense way. They were looking for a threesome! Not only that, the dog would be part and parcel of this adventure! Oh God! Why do I always run into such things?

All I want is this nice guy who will look at me like I’m manna from heaven and be satisfied with that! No go? Well, it seems like it is a no go. I kept my silence and hoped he would go away. However, I kept getting pics of this blonde woman showing off more skin than I thought was possible and attaching captions that read something like this. “I like you. I think you are pretty.”

Am I blushing? Absolutely. So, I put a stop to it but nicely. The “nice” part is where all my problems begin. Anyway, I explained that I was not into what they wanted and wished them all the best. Surprisingly, he was nice, wished me the same and I never heard from him again. Now, I would like to know what is with that DOG?!! I can tell you one thing, it is no Chachi. My little guy is as innocent as Peter Pan but this dog, well, it has been around the block as well! The poor thing.

Anyway, that was one fiasco. Then another one showed up. A well-heeled German who had made tons of money from real-estate. He loved spending half the year in Germany and the other half in Florida. He is currently in Florida enjoying winter and feeling LONELY. He found me and we talked. “I’m looking for that special someone to complete the picture.” Hmm….I guess he wanted the little woman who will do all his bidding. Last night, he called and invited me to come visit and to spend a week or two at his hacienda. Well, I mean his huge spacious house complete with a pool and a jacuzzi to boot! Where do I find these guys? Exactly my question.

I told him it was a no go. I’m not going to drop everything and go spend time with someone I hardly know. Guess what? If you don’t get what you want, it becomes more interesting. He is on the chase and I hate to say it but I’m a tough nut to crack and add a little “crazy” to that and you get the picture.

The dating world is a hard one. You don’t always get what you want and even though “kissing” frogs come into play and you keep your sights peeled for the one and only, you will have to wade through a lot more mud to get there, if you get there that is.

Sad, but true.

Have an amazing day.

Press Reset

Photo by Natasha Fernandez on Pexels.com

“Don’t forget power in resetting, on any given day…you are allowed to start over, if you feel like you’re going down the wrong path, RESET.” Reyna Biddy

When the sun goes down and you find yourself staring at another day ending and you realize that progress is not being made, hit the “RESET” button. You are not stuck even though it might feel that way at times but you have the power to change whatever it is you want to change in your life. You need the mindset, know what it is you’re after, hit “reset” meaning clear the slate and start over again. .

It is not that simple I know. In fact, it might be one of the hardest things you’ll have to do because changing your mindset is not easy and it is not simple either. Old habits die hard and sometimes they are hard to give up because there is comfort in hanging on to things that feel comfortable even if in reality they are not. Laziness, putting out the least effort possible and waiting for the world to reward you for nothing in particular is not going to work and it has never worked.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C. S. Lewis

It takes YOU to change your place in the world. Where you stand, how high or low you are in the grand scheme of things all depends on you but one thing is clear, progress needs hard work. It means falling down a few more times than you wanted to but always keeping your eyes on the prize. If you want that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you’ve got to go after it. It is human nature to want to make life simple but it has other plans for us. Life is about learning from your mistakes, saying “no” to easy and knowing that you’ve got to throw yourself into “hard” to make it happen. Falling down is part and parcel of this thing called life but standing back up and moving forward gives you another chance, another opportunity to reach your end goal. You need to be better and you need to set yourself apart from the ordinary to make it. Sparkles and sunshine sounds good but it is going to take grit and determination to get you there.

Hitting “reset” and doing the same old things over and over again is not going to do it either. You need to “refocus” to get things going again. If something is not working, focus on what it is and change it. Try different angles and attitudes and at some point you’ll get it right, at least I hope I will at some point in time. Until then, I’ll hit “reset” as many times as I need to and I’ll tell the “victim mentality” I carry around with me which keeps me from achieving my goals to hit the door as well!

So if you’re standing where I have been many many times before and watching the sun set on another fruitless day, hit “RESET.” Tomorrow is on its way, it’s a new day to work your magic on a blank slate and to have your name written there as a success story. It’s all up to you.

Reset, refocus, readjust, restart, as many times as you need to. JUST NEVER GIVE UP!” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Living Your Best Life

“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown

One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com

Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown

Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.

Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how I look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler to myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws and all is the way to go.

One Day It Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown

Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!

Change

“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.

It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.

It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood. But it doesn’t matter. Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.

And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.” Brianna West

Change is never-ending. It is scary but it brings you one step closer to who or what you want to be. It moves you out of your comfort zone and at times it will feel like you are being thrown into the deep end of the pool, sink or swim is your choice. I hope you swim.

Looking back at my life and the things that have held me back, I realize much of it was tied in with stupidity and emotions I could have done without. I could have learned the lessons in a shorter period of time instead of dragging it on but I didn’t.

This thing called love could have been easier on me. I could have made it easier but I wasn’t strong enough. I was in a vulnerable state and it seemed to attract the wrong types because vulnerability is often an invitation which says, “Here I am, come break me!” I should have walked when I saw that it was a foregone conclusion and my holding on would not change the outcome. It never did. I will do better I promise myself. I will let go when I see the truth staring me in the face and walk away with my dignity intact and with my heart back in my chest. I will let go before it drags me down to where I often find myself, right down at ground zero but the changes took a long time coming.

I am stronger today than I was yesterday. My heart still speaks the language of love but it no longer speaks stupid. This journey I am on has changed me. The weak or vulnerable one has been replaced with one who is confident, capable and someone who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. Something inside me screams, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Scary? Well, if you’re the type of man I am accustomed to, then you should be. I am looking to be loved but with eyes open this time. Working on myself is a mindful and daily affair and when I finally step out of my comfort zone, the journey will be complete but change is a lifelong journey and it will be a never-ending one. I can handle it I tell myself because I am no longer who I used to be.

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” James Keller

Have an amazing day.

Time

“Time and tide waits for no man.” Geoffrey Chaucer

I was discussing time with a friend and told him jokingly that this year I am going to hold on tight and make time go as slowly as possible. He laughed because he knew as well as I did that holding onto time is an impossible task and the truth is it flies and trying to keep up is the only thing to do.

Zig Ziglar said, “Lack of direction not lack of time is the problem. We all have 24-hour days.”

True but sometimes it seems that the days fly by and just when you think it is the beginning of the week, lo and behold, it’s the weekend again. When we look back, it is clear that we waste a lot of time on things that don’t matter, on people we shouldn’t be wasting our time on and perhaps just sitting around and wishing and hoping that things were different. I’ve started a routine to make the days count because lost time is just that. You are not getting it back ever again. I’ve started writing down everything I do during the course of the day. There are no hard and fast rules so I give myself permission to write down my thoughts and feelings as well as improvement ideas. Surprisingly, I’ve been keeping up and getting a lot accomplished and some days I pat myself on the back and say, “Great job, you’re giving time a run for the money! Keep it up.” It really has slowed time down for me. Try this approach, you might just like it.

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” Michael Altshuler

This year I want to take the time to smell the roses which means taking more time for myself mentally and physically. I want to do things that will bring an improvement to and will enrich my life. I am not going to let a day go by without doing something productive. That said, I am going to find the time to relax, not going to sweat the small stuff and let time keep up with me instead of the other way around! Doable? Anything is doable if you put your mind to it.

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” J.R.R. Tolkien

Have an amazing day.

WORDS

Words have incredible power and they can either build or break someone down. The saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is so far from the truth. Words have the ability to stay with you, work within you and long after all is said and done, it can still show up years down the road and still have the power to hold court if allowed to do so.

Flippancy with words comes easily to some and to some cutting you down to size using a few choice words is a daily affair. Choose your words carefully and be kind with what you put out there because unlike that quote, words do have the power to hurt and to break someone down.

Here are some quotes that hit the nail on the head:

“Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.” Unknown

“Before you say something to someone, always think about how you’d feel if someone told you the same thing.”

I like this next one a lot.

“If only our tongues were made of glass,

how much more careful we would be when we speak.” Unknown

“The world is full of hurtful words. It is full of hate. It is full of people pushing others away. Tripping them with words. Words have the same power to cause harm as a stick or rock. We need to be better than that. To learn, to understand, to refuse to be the hurt.” Unknown

“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” Joel Osteen

Have an amazing day.