life – Page 20 – Site Title

The Fear Factor

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: “Forget Everything And Run” or “Face Everything And Rise.” The choice is yours.” Zig Ziglar

This is an interesting quote. I guess it comes down to how you want to handle fear. My first option has always been the first one. I don’t know when fear walked in and decided to take a permanent place in my life but it did and stayed for a very long time. When murder walked in and took my mother’s life, I knew just how powerful “fear” was. My life as I knew it disappeared and fear and danger were everywhere. I had changed from that fearless young girl who had once roamed the woods alone to a young woman who feared anything and everyone. This was the psychological toll that the murder had on me. Another one would follow in its wake but one was enough to turn my world upside down and to put “fear” at the helm of my existence.

“Don’t be ashamed of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything.” Carlos Ruiz Zafon

It took a long time and it took lots of work to step out from the shadows of fear. However, it never fully let go of the grip it had on me. Courage, strength, grit and focus were the tools that helped me to stand back up and to face life on its own terms.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to act in the presence of fear.” Bruce Lee

This latest onslaught on my psyche has been a big one. The unknown is scary and listening to the doctor drone on about tests has brought the fears back, the ones I’ve been working on to eradicate and the ones I thought I had conquered. Now, they’re staring me in the face and I want to do this. “Forget Everything and Run!” A part of me wants to give up and run but the other part, the one that has fought numerous battles and survived wants to take on this latest challenge and emerge the winner.

“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you faced, all the battles you have won and all the fears you have overcome.”

September 4th is D-Day. The all-important test will take place and it will determine how my life will change and what comes after. Fear? Yes, it’s there, in fact it is holding my hand right now. I hate that fear is back and holding court and courage has taken a backseat. I’m hoping that the inner spark, the inner light, the warrior within will step forward and sent it packing but it is going to take some time.

“To me fearless isn’t not having fears, It’s not that you’re afraid of anything. I think that being fearless is having a lot of fears, but you jump anyway.” Taylor Swift

So, I’m jumping into the unknown with both eyes open. Whatever comes I will face it head on and I will walk with my head held high as I have in times past. This journey of self-discovery I have been on has taught me that there is incredible strength within and it shows up when you least expect it AND it has the power to overcome the unimaginable. I hope it shows up wearing bells and shows “fear” the door. I can only hope.

Have an amazing day.

Human Nature (Archives)

What is human nature? One explanation refers to “the fundamental characteristics, ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that are generally considered to be inherent to human beings.” One can say we are pre-programmed to act in a certain way when faced with certain situations but nurture and social experiences do play a part in shaping individual behaviors as to how we react to certain outside stimuli.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity and I ‘m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein

“It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion.” Anatole France

I totally agree with this assumption. Been there and done that many times over!

“Human nature is deeply ingrained despite our best efforts difficult to change.” Unknown

This one shines the spotlight on the problem itself. Stupidity and stubbornness sometimes or often go hand-in-hand making it a lose-lose situation.

“It’s human nature to remember only what you want to remember and forget what you want to forget, or transform it into a different story.” Unknown

We are all good storytellers so I definitely agree with the transformation part so much so to our own detriment.

“I hate it when people argue in public and I’ve missed the beginning so I don’t know whose side I’m on.” Unknown

This too is human nature.

“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.” Unknown

Human nature at its best?

“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.” Unknown

ME TOO!

“Even if you give them everything that they ask for, it’ll never be enough.” Unknown

Are we talking about men here?

Finally….

THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

“You are not a pawn in a game controlled by others; you are an active player who can move the pieces at will and even rewrite the rules.” Robert Greene

There you go. You are not stuck where you are and you have the ability to change your life. You just need to start moving in the right direction. What about human nature? Tell it to take a hike!

Have an amazing day.

Traditions

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

Almost every family has them and some are wonderful and some we can do without. My family had many traditions and I had to be there whether I wanted to or not!

My parents were religious people and church on Sundays was one of those traditions. I’m not just talking about Sunday service but spending the whole day at church! Yes, it was excruciating for a young girl but I did it simply because it was a must. This is one tradition I don’t keep up with. I’m not going to put my son through it either. It’s his decision altogether and he has chosen to go the other way but I think a little religion doesn’t hurt anyone.

All the other holidays were part and parcel of our upbringing. Christmas was a big deal but I loved it and when I was married, I kept up with the tradition. Presents, lights, Christmas carols and good food were all still a part of tradition but nowadays, it is a quiet affair. No going all out, just some lights, music and a quiet time, so that has changed. Thanksgiving was another big deal. It was a time for family get-togethers, turkey and all the trimmings and lots of food! I’ve changed it to almost nothing. When the friend was there, we would have a semblance of Thanksgiving, just some good food and a quiet time together. Now that he is gone, I’m mostly on my own except for Chachi, the cat.

Traditions have changed but I guess it does when life changes. Time changes things too and circumstances complete the picture. Memories of those traditions I had with my parents still remain, they always will, because they were wonderful times except for the whole day at church bit. I could have done without those.

Daily writing prompt

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

View all responses

A Smile a Day

You’ve heard the saying, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away?” Well, giving out smiles does that and more. A smile is an universal language that everyone understands. Furthermore, it helps to boost your mood, reduces stress and improves physical health because it releases endorphins, the good kind, that helps to enhance your mood and hype up the happiness factor. If it does all that for you, just imagine what it does for the person on the receiving end of that smile! You, my friend, can brighten up someone’s day just by turning on that smile so let’s look at some quotes that will help us do just that.

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” Thich Nhat Hanh

“It seems to me what we call beauty in a face lies in the smile.” Leo Tolstoy

I totally agree.

“The smile is the best accessory a person can wear.” Unknown

“Everyone smiles in the same language.” George Carlin

“Nothing you wear is more important than your smile.” Connie Stevens

“There are hundreds of languages in the world, but a smile speaks them all.” Unknown

Perfectly said!

“Sometimes it’s better to just remain Silent and Smile.” Unknown

“Keep smiling….and one day life will get tired of upsetting you.” Unknown

Hmm…fingers and toes crossed and I’m smiling for all I’m worth!

I love this last one.

“Smile! Happy looks good on you.”

I think it looks good on just about anybody. Pump up that smile, amp up that wattage and start giving smiles away!

Have an amazing day.

Something New

I’ve never seen this in the little villages around here, the bigger cities are a different story altogether. Yesterday brought a different perspective and it was shocking to say the least.

I was looking out the window, it was late afternoon and the wind was picking up speed. Rain was in the forecast and it was a welcome change from the hot and humid days we’ve been having lately. I saw movement at my neighbor’s yard and glancing in that direction, I saw a young boy. He was scrawny and seemed to be around 11 to 12 years of age. His t-shirt was torn and dirty and his eyes had a hollow look about them. He looked to be of Middle Eastern descent.

He was focused on what he was doing. First, he opened the yellow bin which is meant for plastic trash. It was full and he tried opening some of them and then he pulled out a plastic tarp. He quickly laid it out on the ground and folded it carefully. He had a roller close by and he laid it on the seat looking like he had found a piece of treasure. Was he living outdoors? Where? In the woods out in the fields? Thoughts rushed through my mind but I stood frozen watching him. Then his eyes alighted on an empty cookie container. He pulled it out quickly and opened it hopefully. It was empty. I sensed his disappointment. It was at that moment that I wanted to do something. I had cookies and I had half a loaf of bread and all of me wanted to rush out there and to say, “Here, you can have these.” However, I stopped and stood where I was.

He left empty-handed except for that plastic tarp neatly tucked away in his roller. I’ve seen them, the down on their luck people as I call them. You see them all the time in the bigger cities and I always make it a point to give them some money even though I was warned against it. The usual warnings are, “He’s going to use it to buy alcohol,” or “It’s a scam.” My answer, “I did my part and what they do is up to them.” However, this was something new. I’ve never seen people rampaging through trash cans and soup kitchens are not the norm here. So this was concerning and I wondered what his story was.

Later, I told my son about what I had witnessed and he immediately went, “You did the right thing. Do not open the door and do not give them anything!” Sound advice I guess but the heart wants to do something different!

I did take my walk out in the fields today and as I passed the woods, I had my eyes peeled hoping to catch a glimpse of a plastic tarp but there was none. Would he show up again? I don’t know but he has been on my mind.

Have an amazing day.

Seeking Happiness

Are you seeking happiness as I am? If you are then you know that it is elusive and it takes a certain mindset to stay happy. It is a conscious choice and it demands a focus on positive things instead of your external circumstances. Experts say, it is about “choosing to focus on what is good and finding joy in everyday moments.”

How many of us do exactly that only to find that when something unforeseen shows up and rattles the boat and off we go right back to, “the glass is half-empty stuff.” It goes downhill from there, at least it does with me.

“Happiness is homemade, create it everyday.” Unknown

You have to create this elusive commodity. It’s not going to walk in and make itself known. Well, it could but it takes work on your part to get you in the happy mode and to stay that way.

Wearing a smile on your face helps. It’s like tricking your mindset into thinking that the “happy hormones” are at play so it must be alright to get and feel happy. What are the happy hormones? They are dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin. These hormones “play a key role in regulating mood, pleasure, and overall well-being.”

How do you boost the happy foursome?

Physical activity helps. A healthy diet definitely helps to get you on the way and to activate the happy hormones. Mindfulness and relaxation helps. Things like meditation, deep breathing and nature walks help as well. I do all of those things so why is “happiness” eluding my so called existence and only shows up now and then?

“Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” Unknown

You’ve got to be kidding me! Stop chasing and it will show up? I think it takes more than that for happiness to come knocking on your door. According to the University of New Hampshire Psychological and Counseling Services, here are some strategies to help you find happiness.

Focus upon problem-solving, not just venting.

Take time to build quality relationships with supportive people.

Count your blessings and practice gratitude.

Take time to engage in random acts of kindness.

Practice compassion and empathy.

Be kind to yourself, rather than overly-critical or perfectionistic.

Set meaningful goals.

Appreciate what you already have.

Avoid the temptation to complain and reinforce negativity.

If all else fails, remember that your happiness depends on you.

“The best gift you could give yourself is the permission to be happy.” Unknown

Start your day right. Wear a smile, do a happy dance, and TRY to keep the negatives at bay. A day at a time and who knows you might just become the happiest person on the planet!

Have an amazing day.

THE ONE (Archives)

“As you awaken, you will come to understand that the journey to love isn’t about finding “THE ONE” the journey is about becoming “THE ONE.” Craig Crippen

Ever since I started putting myself back in the dating circle, I’ve asked this question over and over again. How do I spot “The One?” Will he stand out like a sore thumb or will our paths cross and sparks would fly? The answer surprisingly is you’ll have to look, decipher and discard as you go along to find that one special person. Love like in the movies is for the make-believe theater. Real life is something else.

However, he’s NOT the one if he takes you for granted.

He’s not the one if he enjoys cutting you down to size because it makes him feel good.

He’s definitely not the one if anger is part of his DNA and he goes on a rage fest every chance he gets.

He’s not the one if your feelings do not matter to him.

He’s not the one if he’s hung up on someone else and you are just a substitute.

He’s not the one if he doesn’t take the opportunity to show you how much he cares.

He’s definitely not the one if he doesn’t spoil you!

He’s definitely not the one if he loves you one minute and walks off when someone else catches his fancy.

He’s not the one if being a “woman” in his books means you are the weaker sex.

He’s not the one if he looks down on you. Nope, definitely not the ONE!

He’s not the one if there isn’t tingling in your cells when he touches you.

He’s definitely not the one if he makes you question your self-worth.

He’s not the one if spending time with you is a chore and not a priority.

On the other hand….

IF HE IS THE ONE….

You’ll never have to question

who he chooses because it will be you every day.

He will be the support that you’ve prayed for, the fantasy that you thought only existed in movies and the friend that will never leave your side.

He will love you, flaws and all, & even past any pain that you’ve ever experienced. He will be intentional about his efforts.

If he’s the one,

you’ll know that you’re a priority,

not a backup plan. Unknown

And folks that will show you a clear cut path to true love, at least I hope so!

Have an amazing day.

A Rainy Day

“Sometimes you just need to feel the rain. Let it beat upon your face, cleanse your soul and free your spirit!” Unknown

I want to dance in it like I used to as a young girl lost in a carefree world but since I’m a grown-up or rather older and wiser, I’m watching it from my kitchen window coffee mug in hand mesmerized by the steady drumming on the rooftops. It’s a soft drizzle enough to wet the ground and to give the plant life the much needed relief it needs from days of heat and no rain.

Two blackbirds are dancing out there as they move from tree to tree and they seem to be having fun. I’d love to be out there with them twirling on my toes, arms held out like some ethereal being as I let the softness of rain wash away the hardness of living. Nature has a way of taking away the rough edges that life puts around us, it has a way of mellowing and blurring, just like the day is doing out there today.

There is none of the harshness of a hot sun, the parched ground is being fed again and the soft steady drizzle of rain is doing a mighty fine job of soothing my inner being. I love rain, always have, not the ones filled with thunder and slashes of lightning but this soft variety that seems to be murmuring to my soul, washing away the cobwebs that have been gathering there the last few days and erasing and cleansing my spirit as I twirl and dance in my mind’s eye, a young girl once again lost in the magic of nature’s way.

“Rain is nature’s way of adding a little soul to life.” Unknown

Have an amazing and magical day.

Losing Track of Time

Walking

It gets me out in the open and nature is something I like to get lost in. I have a slight case of claustrophobia and when I am outdoors I feel free and one with nature. Just letting my mind wander aimlessly is a great way to lose track of time

Writing

This is a daily must. It gets my creative juices flowing and sometimes it helps to bring focus to things I am dealing with. It is a way to let go of frustrations, anger, sadness and sometimes just to get some relief from the here and now. It is also a great way to gather my thoughts, put them in perspective and to get moving in the right direction and some days I do lose track of time and wonder where the time went.

Meditation

This is my go to method to get rid of stress and whatever else bothers me. I go into a quiet space and nothing seems to matter anymore. I get quiet for 20 minutes or sometimes longer and escape into a void of nothingness. Thoughts do creep in but not for long. My focus is getting better and the thoughts come and go but I stay where I’m at. I would like to do an hour or so of meditation but my mind screams, ENOUGH ALREADY! One day, I will get there.

Daydreaming

A perfect way to lose track of time and a delicious way I might add. There is nothing pressing, nothing to take care of and nothing to worry about. I go with whatever captures my imagination and let it ride for a while. Sometimes it may be birds in flight, or a plane flying way up high or just the pigeons cooing on the rooftops and sometimes the flight of a butterfly moving from flower to flower. Just senseless observations but it creates a space where my soul flies and losing track of time in such a state of mind is a wonderful place to be in, for a time anyway.

These are some of my favorite activities but there are others I use to a lesser degree. All in all, I’ve come up with some wonderful ways of losing track of time and I’m always looking for new ways!

Daily writing prompt

Which activities make you lose track of time?

View all responses

Life’s Certainties

Photo by Matazu Photography on Pexels.com

BIRTH

It is a biological event which remains a constant and therefore, a certainty.

DEATH

We will meet our maker at some point and this is a certainty. It is an inevitable aspect of human existance.

TAXES

Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

LIFE

It doesn’t stop for anyone. Life goes on regardless of birth, death, breakups and grief. It moves and if you want to keep up, you’ve got to move too or be left behind.

TIME

This commodity is precious. Not realizing that time is precious is one of the things humans do and we do it with relish. However, there is a limited amount of time that is allocated and putting it to good use is of the utmost importance.

LIFE IS FLEETING

This is a certainty because everything in life eventually changes and comes to an end.

PAIN

There are no ifs or buts about this one. Pain is a certainty of life. It can come both in the physical or emotional form and it is a natural part of the human experience.

CHANGES

Nothing stays the same forever no matter how much we want it to. Changes are part and parcel of life.

WE DON’T KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS

This is a part of our human experience. Life would be easier if we knew why some things happen the way they do but no chance there. Maybe at some later point in time, the answers will be revealed to us.

THE PAST HAS AN EFFECT

Last but not least, the past does leave its mark on us, good or bad, it has an effect on us and this too is a certainty. Our past experiences do shape our present thoughts, behaviors, and emotions AND our reactions to life.

Wow, that was a long list! Time for three cups of coffee. Mornings are not made for this much thinking!

Daily writing prompt

List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain.

View all responses