I’ve acquired many habits that have contributed to my well-being ever since I’ve been on this journey of self-improvement. I love walking, working out, meditating, relaxing, and taking time out for myself. However, if I have to pin down one habit that has improved my life the most, it would be writing.
Writing is something I do everyday. The WP prompts help me to vent, to bring forward what I’m thinking about, to bring forward things that bug me, and to think outside of the box. Some days I have lots to say and on other days nothing! It doesn’t matter, it is a way to bring forth all that is hidden deep within and a way to look at those issues more deeply.
Sometimes it helps to see them more clearly and at other times, I get solutions to rectify problems and to move forward with a clear path in mind. It is not always easy but it is better than doing nothing. Some days, I feel great after venting about something that has been bugging me and I hope that some of what I put out there helps someone else who is on the same path and struggling to find a path forward.
Writing has definitely worked to improve my life for the better. Life doesn’t seem as hard as it used to and I feel like I have a “friend” I can turn to when the clouds move in and dim the lights. This is one habit that I will keep on doing because it doesn’t cost anything, just time and thinking on my part. Both are doable and the rewards outweigh what I put into it.
Daily writing prompt
What’s one habit that has improved your life the most?
It was hands down the time during the breakup of my marriage. I didn’t know “HARD” until then. I was caught between a rock and a hard place and there was no escaping the pain, the confusion, the insecurities, and the feelings of loneliness that followed.
The adulterous affair he had tore our marriage apart but I think it started way before that. Success got to his head and arrogance did the rest. The problem was I was still caught up in being his wife and mother to our little boy. I didn’t see it coming. When it did I was broken beyond belief. Should I walk away? Can we mend what was broken? What about trust? Can I ever trust him again? That last part gave me the answers to my other questions. I couldn’t and without trust we were going nowhere. Divorce was next on the line. It was a very painful time because I believed in forevers and “forever” was lying in pieces around my feet along with my broken heart.
The thing that got me through the ordeal was my little boy. I saw the pain every time he looked at us. His world was changing and he wanted it to remain the same. However, there was no going back. I became his rock in more ways than one. His father was off and running. Any woman was fair game and we were left on the backburner or rather as an afterthought.
I took on the role of mom and dad and I stood by my boy like a lioness guarding her cub. Did it lessen his pain? I don’t think so but it did help him to know that he was loved and no matter what I was there for him.
The “angel” walked in after that and slowly but surely, I learned to stand back up again. No, I wasn’t fully healed, that took a long time and I couldn’t love him like he wanted. Every time he got close, I shut the door behind me! The thing about him was that he had both feet in and wasn’t about to leave. He stayed until it was his time to go. He showed me there is better out there. The kind of love that doesn’t take you for granted, the kind of love that doesn’t buckle at the slight suggestion of a storm, and the kind of love that didn’t ask but was willing to give selflessly. The sad thing, I wasn’t ready to accept it at the time.
I call him “my angel” because I truly believe that he was sent in to help me find my way again. He got me through the “the hard years” and just when I was finding my feet again, he left. His job was done.
Daily writing prompt
What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Time to put those items into practice. The hardest, as far as I am concerned, will be the last one. I do overanalyze everything to the point that I start out with something small and by the time I finish with it, it has been blown to gigantic proportions.
A long time ago when I was doing my armchair traveling, I came across pictures of this faraway land and it kept me captive. I told myself that one day I will visit this gorgeous place and even live there.
Life had other plans! I would travel the world experiencing life in some strange and wonderful places but I never made it to Switzerland! I lived in Asia and then I met my German ex and life got turned on its head. We fell in love, got married, and I got pregnant. He wanted to move back home, to a tiny little village that time forgot. Sometimes you can hear a pin drop.
I’ve raised my son here, learned to speak the language fluently, got divorced, and am learning to live here on my own. I think I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. It’s not perfect but it is perfect enough for me. If you’re a writer, this is a dream place. It is quiet so that you can hear yourself think. The fields are gorgeous and some days you may think that no one else exists! There is very little to do here but that’s okay for a recluse like me. I love the peace and quiet. The people take some getting used to, they are set in their ways and they are way too conservative. However, when you get to know them and they invite you into their circle, that’s right “invite” you in, you’ve made it and you are treated like one of them. It is how I feel now.
I’ve been to many places in the world but if I could live anywhere in the world, I would pick this one. Why? It feels like home and there is this certain something about this place. Perhaps, it is the mixture of old and new or the smiles and waves that tell me I am welcomed here, but most of all I like the feel of safety that this place gives me. It is almost crime-free and you CAN leave your doors open at night but that’s where I draw the line!
I’m not there yet and I don’t think I ever will be. I have a German friend who leaves all the windows and doors open throughout the day and through the night! He says, “there is nothing to worry about!” Hmm…from his mouth to God’s ears!
I’m in a perfect place, one that works for me and that right there is the important part.
Daily writing prompt
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I’ve learned along the way that good sleep doesn’t come naturally. You’ve got to work at it to get your 8 hours of undisturbed sleep. Even though I eat healthy, workout, and do the right things during the day, it doesn’t mean that I can slide into bed and go to dreamland at a drop of the coin. It was easier when I was younger but now that I’m on my own and handling things by myself, good sleep needs work and I’m hell-bent on getting it!
The first thing I do is to have a nice shower. Then I change into a big roomy t-shirt, the bigger the better! Before that I slather on a good mosturizing cream but I’ve had to let that go for the past week because of the heatwave. It just made me feel sticky.
Then I make myself a cup of Ayurveda tea. It is soothing and helps to calm my nerves. Most days when evening rolls around, my nerves are on edge! Sipping warm tea and having my eyes closed for about 10 minutes helps to bring the cortisol levels down.
Some days, I do some light stretching, a short meditation, and or some deep breathing. These three get me ready for bed in no time. If that doesn’t work, I cuddle with Chachi, the Little Macho, although he has lost his pants now. Shiro, the white Persian, is wearing them with pride and she is holding a whip as well!
If I’m still buzzing after that, I watch TV for a while. It doesn’t always help to soothe but after a while it gets boring and then sleep comes rushing in!
Those are my tried and true methods of improving my sleep. It works but not always. It just depends on how stressful my day was. Some days nothing helps, I’ll just have to grit my teeth and bear it. That too is part and parcel of my evening ritual, like it or not.
I would like to think that a gut feeling and intuition are the same but it seems that there are subtle differences. They are closely related and a “gut feeling is typically an immediate physical and emotional reaction driven by survival instincts and past trauma. Intuition is a calmer more cerebral knowing that subconsciously synthesizes experience to offer wise guidance.” I don’t know guys, it seems like it is the one and the same to me. Basically it is that feeling within that tells you you’re going the wrong way! Quite often we choose to ignore the voice that wants to do right and we walk our own path knowing full well that it is the wrong one.
I’ve done that many times over. I remember a time when my “gut feeling” screamed, “STOP! You’re headed the wrong way, he’s not the right one.” I heard it loud and clear, I saw the signs being paraded in front of me and still I ignored and carried on heading into the danger zone!
However, the journey of self-discovery I am on has taught me to pay heed to those gut feelings and to take them seriously. Not too long ago, I dated someone who seemed to be the perfect guy. Let’s just say, he ticked all the right boxes. It started out like a dream. We connected, we had the same interests, and it felt like HOME! However, my gut was telling me something else. It said, “Watch out! Things are not as they seem.” This time around, I chose to listen and it turned out for the best.
The loser was a cheater just like my ex. He played a good game and it looked like he had done it many times before. The good part, I walked away before more damage could be done. My gut feeling was exactly right and I did right by following its advice.
So the next time your gut tells you something is not right, pay heed. It has your best interests at heart just like intuition does.
Daily writing prompt
What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?
Courage is not being, “fearless.” Courage is shaking at the knees, choking on your words, heart gripped by uncertainty, but stepping forward on your journey anyway. (Unknown)
That quote right there says it all. Courage doesn’t arrive with grand gestures but in small steps. It means showing up for yourself even if you don’t feel like it. It means getting up in the mornings and saying, “I’m going to try again.” It means staring whatever is holding you back right in the face and daring to take that first small step forward. It means moving towards that mountain top not knowing what is waiting for you there but trusting that it will be better than where you’re at right now.
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.” Napoleon Bonaparte
How often have you thrown up your hands and said, “I give up!” I’ve been there and so have you. However, it is those very moments that call for courage to step up and to put fear in its place. It is easy to run and hide, to not show up for yourself and to wear the mantle of defeat proudly. Moving on becomes heavy and each step forward, sometimes next to impossible. Courage needs practice like anything else in life. It doesn’t happen overnight and neither is it easy. Each time you face defeat as you inevitably will because life is about overcoming obstacles and nothing is going to be made easy and handed to you on a silver platter. The truth of the matter is, it takes work and sometimes hard work to achieve what you want. On your way, you will meet fear (my constant companion) and you will meet defeat. However, you are made of stronger stuff and you, my friend, are capable of showing up, time and time again until one day you are holding the letter “V” in your hands and giving whatever is holding you back a run for the money!
“COURAGE DOESN’T ALWAYS ROAR. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher
Remember practice makes perfect and “courage” in small doses is what it is about. Make a list and start with the smallest thing on that list. Work your way up one step at a time putting fear where it belongs. Good luck on your journey.
The definition of a helicopter mom is, “a mother who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of her child or children.” Furthermore, “helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead, overseeing every aspect of their child’s life.” Guilty as charged!
My son, the one and only, has managed to do well. He has finished his studies and after landing two jobs but not to his liking, he has landed his dream job or so it seems. He is going into his third month and according to him, “Work is good.” That’s about as much as I can get out of him these days. Just short answers that don’t tell me a thing! I WANT MORE! Yes folks, the helicopter is going down fast and it is not going to be up there anytime soon and it probably never will again.
He’s on the way and keeping everything close to his chest. The problem is I am having a hard time with being fed just morsels! The first time it happened, I thought I would go crazy not knowing where he was, how he was doing, and especially when the trains stopped running and he was left to find his way home on his own! I had to learn to deal with that.
It got easier as time went on. The less he told me, the more I believed that he was alright and doing well. It was my way of surviving the inevitable. He was a young adult and he was ready to fly the coop and mom just had to deal with it. Then I wouldn’t hear from him for a few days and I would ask my ex if he had heard from him. “No, I haven’t heard from him for about a week now.” What?!! That set all the alarm bells going and needed looking into! When he was good and ready, he wrote me a few words, the emphasis being on few! “All good.”
I am writing this because he has a move coming up next weekend. He is moving to his new apartment and he will be able to have his cats with him. I thought it would take place the moment he moved in but I was told from a third source, the ex, that he has a two or three week business trip coming up and it can only happen after he comes back. Why didn’t he tell me?!! The helicopter is going down fast.
He just wrote a few minutes ago saying, “Packing.” I thought he was talking about the move coming up. Nope, he was talking about a trip coming up next week and he will be gone for a week. Where is he going? He doesn’t want to say and I have to step back and not push. The helicopter has CRASHED!!!
I see the same thing with a girlfriend. She has a ten-year-old and she does it one better than me. She is up there flying the skies and I wish I can go back to the times when I knew anything and everything like she does!
The thing is I have to accept that he is growing up fast and is leading a life of his own. So far, he has done well on his own and I will trust that I’ve brought him up well and he knows what he is doing.
By the way, that “helicopter” did a good job of raising the kid!
Last year, I started out on this journey of self-discovery looking for better ways to deal with emotional ups and downs, getting myself back on track, and taking the path unknown. It has been a long journey and I’ve made my mistakes along the way and I knew I would. I’ve fallen and picked myself back up and moved on trying not to look back at closed doors or staying there for too long. Along the way, I had to put this into practice.
“The past is where you learned the lesson. The future is where you apply the lesson, don’t give up in the middle.” Unknown
Honestly, I wanted to give up many times when the going got tough. At times, I thought I didn’t have the courage or the energy to keep moving forward. The finish line was somewhere in the distance and I wondered if I would ever see it. However, I had to have faith and to believe that as long as I kept moving forward, it would show up sooner or later.
“Sometimes life has to turn you upside down, so you can learn how to live more right side up.” Unknown
I am learning that not everything is going to break me. Even though it seems that way at times. Stepping back and seeing it for what it is usually brings more clarity to the whole picture. Taking a deep breath before I tackle the problem has helped me to focus on the problem at hand and not on things I make up in my head. I have a tendency to blow things up making them seem harder than they are. I have learned that problems crop up, it is a part of life. Learning to deal with them is needed and doing it with a clear head, courage, and focus has helped me to overcome and to solve problems as they show up.
“I’ve learned 3 lessons this year, to leave people where they are at, accept situations for what they are and that not every action needs a reaction.” Unknown
That last part was and is the hardest for me. I think or rather believe that every action needs a reaction. I am learning that sometimes that action could be no reaction at all. It speaks more than a thousand words could say and leaving it where it belongs, somewhere in the past is action enough.
It has helped to calm my soul, to move on without looking back, and to accept it for what it is. A problem that can’t be solved and so I LET IT BE.
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.
‘I’d like to be eight again’, she replied.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie,popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted and feeling sick.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
‘I meant my dress size, you f@*#* moron!!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
I’d add, good husband but pleasing a woman is a next to impossible thing including that dress size!
