“In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.” Joan Rivers
True? I am beginning to believe that life doesn’t always flow on an even keel. It may for a while and then it gets turned upside down because the unexpected arrives. Sometimes those things are of a minor nature and you can weather them without getting your underwear in a wad! At other times, however, the unexpected is exactly what you didn’t want to happen. Whichever version it is, the unexpected arrives more often than not and we just have to deal with the consequences.
If you’re like me, I don’t like the unexpected! It usually means I have to learn another lesson and since I’m as stubborn as a mule, it takes TIME and EFFORT and a certain mindset to move me in the right direction.
What happened? Well, if you’ve been reading my posts you know that I love certain things. Like walks in nature, meditation, yoga, sports, keeping fit, and going to the cafe for a cup of coffee. It gets me out of here and I love the cozy atmosphere there and meeting friends was always a delight. We would have a cup of coffee, sometimes breakfast, and talk to our heart’s content.
This morning, I went into town to do a little shopping for the weekend and wanted to have a cup of coffee at my favorite place. Guess what? It was closed and not only that, the signs were gone, the outdoor sitting area was empty, and the inside was bare! Everything was gone. A fly-by-night operation? I don’t think so but something must have happened. I felt a tinge of sadness go through me. I don’t like changes as well. Anyway, the other option is the bakery, the one where the cheesecakes sit and beckon! I did go there. Ordered my cup of coffee and they asked, “A slice of cheesecake?”I nodded in the negative and took my seat.
It felt different but it was a doable option. It wasn’t as cozy as the cafe but it will do for now. I sipped my coffee and listened to the noise. Yes, noise. There were people lined up waiting to be served, people chatting up a storm in their booths, and there was constant movement. Hardly cozy, but I reeled in my discontent and finished my coffee. This was unexpected but things change and I need to go with the flow I told myself. Who knows maybe another cafe will open up. Having made peace with the situation, I walked out and headed to my favorite seafood place. They have really fresh seafood and I’m a regular there.
BAM! They were closed as well. There was no sign on the door, the lights were out, the counters empty, and looked like they were closed as well! This was just too much! Calm down I told myself. Maybe, just maybe, they will be back but something tells me that they are history as well!
“Don’t miss out on a blessing ‘cos it isn’t packaged the way you expected; expect the unexpected.” Unknown
What’s the blessing? I DON’T KNOW! I just want them back.
Breathe, take a long slow breath, and let it go.
“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” Oscar Wilde
Bah humbug! Ok, breathing for all I’m worth. Letting go as well. Maybe there will be a miracle when I show up in town the next time around and there will be another cafe and a fish shop waving at me like the cheesecakes do.
They are supposed to make life easier by giving you clever, simple shortcuts to save you time, money, and effort.
My favorites are:
The Cutting Board Trick.
Place a damp cloth under your cutting board to keep it from slip sliding around. This one works!
Fixing Wrinkled Clothes.
Just throw an ice cube with your wrinkled piece of clothing in a dryer for a few minutes and your shirt or whatever item you threw in is wrinkle free? Why? The melting ice creates steam which releases wrinkles. Go figure but it works.
Towel Trick for Refrigerator.
Line your vegetable tray or drawer with paper towels or a dry towel and your veggies and fruits stay fresher longer. Why? The towel acts as a moisture absorber and they don’t rot that easily. This is my favorite hack by the way.
The Ice Cube Trick.
Run an ice cube wrapped in a washcloth all over your face before applying makeup. Why? It reduces puffiness and tightens your pores. A great beauty tip.
Taming Flyaways.
Spray an old toothbrush with hairspray and brush over stubborn flyaways or baby hair. It works with too little effort!
I have many more but enough for today. Time for a nice cup of coffee to get the day going.
“Self-discipline starts with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.” Napoleon Hill
It has to be trained and that right there is where most of us fail miserably. It is also an art form that has to be told to “heel” when necessary and that’s where the problem comes in. We live in a world where instant gratification is of the utmost importance so throwing self-discipline out the window is easy enough to do and dealing with the consequences is often met with a shrug of the shoulders and a “so what” attitude.
What is self-discipline? According to markcperna.com, it is the “ability to tell ourselves “no” when we feel or want something that our reason tells us is not what’s best right now.”
It could be in the form of saying “no” to an extra slice of cheesecake and yes I still have that fetish, to jumping into bed with someone knowing full well that is the wrong thing to do. One to a lesser degree than the other but we are willing to turn a blind eye and do it anyway. Self-discipline is becoming a lost skill in this instant gratification society of ours and that is the sad truth.
“Without self-discipline, success is impossible. PERIOD.” Lou Holtz
It is a principle that if applied religiously makes your dreams come true. Waking up earlier to do an extra half-hour of exercise, meditation, yoga, whatever is to your liking will get you on the path to achieving that stellar “new” you. Learning to say “NO!” to things that don’t serve you will teach you that if you say it enough it becomes easier to do. This takes practice and especially for me because saying “no” is hard because I am way too accommodating and at times a pushover when it comes to saying no but I am learning.
Another word for it is willpower but whichever word you use, it is the ability to say “NO” when you know doing otherwise is to your detriment. Since it is a learned behavior, you need to learn to master it and to rewire your mindset
Here are some ways to implement self-discipline practices everyday according to medium.com.
They suggest that you stay active when it comes to discipline. Do what you need to do and don’t get distracted. Stick to what you need to get done each day. This is called an Active Discipline method.
The next is the Reactive Discipline tactic. Control your thoughts or behavior when dealing with unforeseen situations. Treat yourself with kindness but know what is right and wrong.
Do things in advance to better manage a situation. If you know it is going to rain, bring an umbrella. Create a to do list or go to bed on time. Keep temptation at a minumum or as the phrase goes, “do not step into the lion’s den” because you know will happen if you do. This last one is called the Proactive Discipline strategy.
However, the quote below says it better:
“Don’t stand in front of the cookie (cheesecake) with your eyes glued to it.” Unknown
It’s a practice and as with every new goal you have to work towards it. It doesn’t just happen once and you’re done with it. It is a constant which requires full-minded focus but the rewards are worth it. You become more adapt at time management, you become mentally stronger, it helps you to overcome laziness and procrastination, and you build better relationships showing more empathy and love. People with higher self-discipline are more trustworthy and likable as well.
What’s not to like? Set it in motion because no self-discipline means no success.
Karma doesn’t come with fire, it comes with silence.
It doesn’t lash out in rage or seek revenge,
It waits. Patient, steady, unseen. It lets you build your life, fall in love with ease, believe you’ve escaped the weight of your choices. And then, just when you begin to feel safe, it takes back what was never truly earned.
Not to punish, but to remind you;
Every action echoes. Nothing stays buried forever.
MindJournal
My answer to this question is an unequivocal YES! There are those who do wrong and not only knowingly but with malice and they walk away into the sunset so to speak with no consequences whatsoever or so they think but I believe that karma is a potent force, it watches, it abides, and when you least expect it, it strikes.
I’ve seen it happen many times over. One person had everything going for him, a happy home, a wife he loved, and a life he loved living. This went on for many years until “karma” decided it was time and with one fell swoop, it was gone. He wondered what happened but in his pain, he forgot about the wrong he had done to someone close to him.
Every action has a consequence and it is what we forget when we choose to do wrong.
Law Of Karma
“You cannot cheat destiny,
By hurting honest souls.
Every action finds its owner,
No matter how time rolls.”
Unknown
Yes, I do believe in Karma is my answer to this question.
Buddha said, First remove, “I” that’s EGO, then remove , “WANT,” that’s DESIRE. See now you are left with only, “HAPPINESS.”
Is it really that simple to find happiness? Okay, I can give this method a try BUT I find that when I remove “EGO” and “WANT,” there is something else glaring me in the face! It is, “WHAT NOW?!!!”
According to Buddhist wisdom, there are 5 steps to happiness. They are:
SMILE MORE
WORRY LESS
BE PRESENT
GIVE MORE
EXPECT LESS
I believe in the smiling more part. No problems there. Worrying less is almost a no go with me. Being present, I am working on. Giving more…..it is a work in progress and expecting less always gets me in trouble. Basically, I’m not quite there yet. Finding that happiness path that is.
What else?
“A disciplined mind brings happiness.”
Oh Gawd! This is even worse. Tell that “monkey” I call my mind to take orders and you’ll see what I mean! Marching on to the next happiness mantra.
“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are….
It solely relies on what you think.”
WHAT?!!! I give up!
No more searching for happiness wisdom today. I’ll do it my way. The sun is shining and I’m going to slip into my flip-flops, go to the garden and let the sun warm my face. I’ll listen to the birdsong to calm my mind and let happiness seep in. Sorry Buddha but maybe next time around.
There will be no more thinking, no more telling my mind to do something it doesn’t want to do and I’ll just let the day go as it wants to. How’s that for a happiness mantra?
There is no method to the madness. I basically write about my experiences, things I am interested in, posts that might help someone else who is in the same boat as I am, and just about anything that catches my fancy at the moment and hope that people would be interested in what I have to say and in my life as well.
Most of my writing is about trying to help someone else. I’ve lived through some tough stuff and I am still standing. It took work to get to where I’m at so when I write I hope that the person reading it will walk away with something they can use from my writings to get them on the way and to a better way of doing things. There is always light at the end of the dark tunnel so to speak.
Some days I write about what has been bugging me and there are plenty of those things! On other days, it is about looking for love and sometimes in the wrong places and what I’m doing to get to a better place there too. Sometimes I am in a lighter mood and then it is about laughter. It happens more often than you think. I have this funny bone that never quits. I do dabble in politics but not as much as I used to. It is a mishmash of things and it seems people like reading about what I put out there. So I must be doing something right.
There is no rhyme or reason, I write about whatever I like and that’s about it. If you read it, that is completely up to you BUT I hope you do.
Daily writing prompt
How do you write what people actually want to read?
