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Change is Hard (Archives)

Change is hard because “our brains are wired to prefer certainty, comfort, and routine, and change threatens our sense of control and security.” Add fear of the unknown to it and it is next to impossible to accept change when it rolls around as it inevitably does because it is a part of life. Change happens whether we like it or not and learning to live with it is a must.

I dig in my heels whenever “change” shows its face around here. My first instinct is to shout out loud more out of fear than anything else. “Oh no, not you again! I don’t need any more changes in my well-organized and well-regimented life,” that is my cry. Change just smiles and takes its place patiently until I come to my senses because it knows that there is no getting away from it, and then it is time to go to work again, getting rid of the old and letting the new in.

“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.” James Belusco and Ralph Stayer

Have you ever struggled to hold onto something when letting go was the only option you had? Did you come up with excuses as to why it needed to stay? Did you turn what was staring you in the face, the truth, into more than what it was? I’m sure all of us have done that at one point or another. Hanging on to what is familiar is easy to do, not much effort is needed, and even if it hurts like hell, it is a much better option then taking the radical route. The one that takes you on a different path, the road less traveled so to speak and not knowing what is around that corner is more than frightening. If truth be told, it is the path that you’ll have to take to free yourself of what is weighing you down and it is the path that comes with changes. Those changes bring uncertainty, they bring pain, they make you accept your inadequacies and at times, they are more than uncomfortable. If you want better, accepting change is the only way to go.

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” Robin Sharma

I’m at the “messy in the middle” part. The “gorgeous” part hasn’t arrived yet and it is scary at times but I know that if I keep at it and keep moving forward one step at a time, I’ll see the light. What light? The light at the end of the tunnel. Change is hard and I’m discarding as I go and accepting some truths that are needed as I move forward. I’ll get there one day.

Sometimes accepting “change” is the only way to go. Let go of what you give value to when you know that you’re overestimating its worth. Not everything is the “next best thing since sliced bread,” and quite often it is more like stale bread! Accept changes as they come and know it will be hard until it turns into something gorgeous.

Have an amazing day.

LIFE!

Life makes me nervous and it is for the reasons below.

“LIFE is full of unexpected twists, but most things happen for a reason, a season or a lesson.” Unknown

I am tired of learning lessons, both the hard and not so hard ones. However, I know that life is about learning lessons, picking yourself back up after a hard fall, and moving on. I’ve done it many times over and I’m sure that all of us do it on a regular basis.

Will there ever be a time when life moves smoothly? I suppose it is not in its nature and that is the scary part. Yes, there are good times as well but I seem to think it is more about the bad ones where you are front and center and HOW you deal with whatever comes your way is going to speak volumes about who you are and what you are made of. More specifically, if you have what it takes to meet it halfway, shake hands and say, “This is alright. I am fully capable of dealing with this as well even though I think I need a BREAK!”

Hmm….dream on? Exactly. Buckle up folks, those twists, reasons, and lessons are a never-ending thing. Perhaps, that is what life is about and it makes me NERVOUS!

Unwinding After a Demanding Day

Those high-pressurized days are over with. I’ve taken time off to concentrate on writing and I have all the time in the world to work on what I’m working on. No more churning out articles to meet deadlines and all the pressure that comes with it. These days the only form of stress that comes my way is dealing with what needs to be fixed around the house, Chachi, the cat’s demands, and stress of my own making! Let’s also add the two cats who have moved in temporarily and are adding to the stress factor and you get the picture.

When stress shows up, my go to method of unwinding is to take a walk in the garden which is geared for relaxation. It has a whimsical quality about it and just watching the butterflies moving from flower to flower is soothing and calming. Listening to the birds is something that helps me unwind as well. The bedroom is an oasis for relaxation and it is kept dark and cool. I never have the heat on in the bedroom, I like it cold with lots of blankets! Sometimes listening to music helps but nothing jarring. It has to be soft and mood inducing. If that fails, stand-up comedy helps to bring out the laughter and this definitely does the job of soothing a frazzled nerve.

Meditation and yoga are two of my current methods of winding down for the evening. I’ve always turned to yoga but took a break after hurting myself doing a pretzel move! No more twisting and turning or headstands for that matter. These days I listen to my body so 30 minutes of slow languid moves helps to tone the body, calm the mind and to restore the soul. Meditation and deep breathing combined are major when it comes to getting ready for bed. It never fails to calm my mind and to put it to bed. Not always an easy thing to do since my mind has a mind of its own!

Daily writing prompt

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

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Taking Care of Yourself (Archives)

“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means me too.” L.R. Knost

Taking care of yourself should be at the top of your list but it rarely is. We pull ourselves in different directions trying to appease others and we put ourselves where we are barely visible at times. I do. “Me too” is not what I think of when I go about trying to help someone else and often, I forget myself in the process. I forget that I need nurturing too, I need taking care of, and I am important too.

“Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Unknown

Take care of yourself. You can’t be much help to anyone else if all you’re doing is looking to see how you can put yourself out there being the “angel” who is there for the calling, the helping, and one who comes to everyone’s call of distress without thinking about the toll it is taking on your being. I did that three years ago when I came to the aid of a sick friend and I put myself through hell and high water to care for him only to find out that even though it was a good deed, the price you have to pay is a high one as far as your own well-being is concerned. Will I do it again? It is a definite NO!

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” Jim Rohn

Taking care of your body is a must. You don’t do it to look good for others, it is a necessity to survive in a world where much is needed from you, and if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. Do whatever is necessary to put yourself first, take care of yourself first and the rest can follow.

“Take care of yourself. Go for a walk, eat your favorite food, get a haircut, cry if you need to, read a book, take a vacation, have a drink, do what you need to do. Take care of yourself, because at the end of the day you’re all you’ve got.” Unknown

As the year draws to a close, the one resolution that matters for next year is to take care of myself first. I do that religiously, but sometimes I forget when life rolls around with its demands and I forget about “me” in the process and take off to do whatever is necessary for someone else. A helping spirit is a good one but not when it is to the detriment of your own well-being. I’m going to remember that as I move forward into the new year. It is not being selfish, it is called self-preservation.

“When you start taking care of yourself you start feeling better, you start looking better and you start to attract better. It all starts with you.” Unknown

AND

“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.” Jane Travis

That last one speaks to the heart of the matter. Removing yourself from the unacceptable can mean many things. Toxic people, things that drain your energy, and people who don’t give two hoots about your well-being. Put them into context, take a long hard look at what you will accept and what you won’t and go from there. Most of all, you MATTER!

Have an amazing day.

Social Media Usage

I’ve backed off from social media usage simply because my life doesn’t revolve around it anymore. Gone are the days of constantly reaching for my phone to see what is going on and replying to every unnecessary tweet! I don’t need those strokes anymore.

I’m no longer on Facebook, Instagram is not my thing and X, well I’m still on there but I rarely contribute. None of these things have the pull they used to have. Don’t ask me why. Perhaps, it’s because I’m evolving in a different way or rather marching to my own drumbeat. Did I tell you I’m a recluse? Sure looks that way and somehow I’m loving it! There is a certain kind of peace from knowing that you don’t need outside stimulation from the likes of social media to feel good about yourself.

I’m here and that is my social media interaction. It seems to be working fine. I say what I’ve got to say and I wrap it up for the day until tomorrow rolls around and the Daily Prompt stares me in the face again! Boring? I guess but I’m loving it and that is what matters.

Daily writing prompt

How do you use social media?

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Anxiety

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I wanted to say peace but it is nowhere to be seen today. Instead anxiety is taking its place. Why? I don’t know why. It shows up when it sees fit and makes my life a place of unrest and my head fills with unruly thoughts.

The night was fine. I slept like a baby after having done two bouts of yoga, one of the Yin variety and the other to calm the mind down. Both did wonders but here I am again feeling like something is not quite right. Anxiety is defined as an “emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events.”

Perhaps it is just my mind playing tricks on me. It doesn’t like peace because everything moves on an even keel and that doesn’t set too well with it. It likes turmoil when my thoughts churn and move like the waves on a choppy ocean and somehow this movement seems to suit my mind because it is a “monkey” that loves the constant chatter of non-stop movement! Well, it is time to do another round of yoga to calm the mind, get the creative juices flowing and to get into a nirvana state of mind. Wish me luck!

Daily writing prompt

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

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When Silence Speaks

Sometimes we think that silence is just that, a certain quietness where nothing happens. It is a void that is soothing but nothing much comes out of it. I beg to differ. I have found that if you listen carefully, “silence” has much to say.

“It’s been said that actions speak louder than words, sometimes, it’s what you don’t say or do, that sends the loudest message.” Carlos Wallace

Quite often when something doesn’t go our way and we are hurt by another’s actions or words, the first reaction is to let it rip. Let it all out and show them how you feel and during those moments, words are aplenty and so are emotions. However, when all is said and done and you are wrung dry, more often than not you realize that you didn’t achieve anything through those outbursts of the unsavory kind.

“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown

Maturity doesn’t show up wearing bells and it does not say, “Here I am, take me and use me.” It shows up when you least expect it and when you’ve gone though the growing up process. The one that takes you on the ups and downs, the one where you find yourself down on your knees and the one that shows you there is a better way of doing things without going ballistic. It is the quiet gentle knowledge of knowing that you deserve better and you will move on with grace. No shouting or being loud needed.

“And suddenly I stopped explaining, stopped fixing, and just moved on. I learned that silence speaks louder than words. No response is a response. Now, I don’t chase. I don’t care and I let people feel the weight of their own choices.” Unknown

Easier said than done? I know because I’ve been there. Things are hard and life is harder still but learning to navigate choppy waters is a must if you want life to let up on you. If something doesn’t go your way, take it in stride. If someone doesn’t choose you, let him or her go. If life isn’t going like it’s supposed to, stop, take note, and then move on knowing that whatever it is that life throws your way, you are fully capable of handling it. Let silence be your guide and your best friend. There is much to be learned during your bout with silence if you’ll only listen.

“Silence is not empty, it is the loudest answer.” Unknown

Not only that, it gives you the ability to get your message across WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!

Try it the next time you want to let someone have what is coming to them or you are chomping at the bit to say your piece. Stop and move in silence.

Have an amazing day.

A Random Encounter

I don’t remember his name but it is not important. The meeting took place while I was in high school. He was the caretaker’s son and I met him one day during break time. We were playing some silly game and there he was sitting on a bench staring into space. I recall the smile on his face as he sensed my presence. It was big and bold and somehow didn’t quite fit that small face. I stopped and stared and he said, “Hello!” and that was the beginning.

He was born blind and his eyes looked clouded like there was a veil over them. I was fascinated by them and we talked for a while. The friendship took off and everyday at break time, I was at his place asking questions and listening to him play the piano. One day he played this beautiful melody and called it my song. He had dreams of being a famous pianist and I could see him achieve that dream. He was very talented. We talked about many things and I think I was the only friend he had. Some days after school, I would practice walking around the house with my eyes closed just to see what it felt like to be him. Summer rolled around and there was a break for some time. When school started back up, I couldn’t wait to see him again. The bench where he usually sat was empty. I looked around and there was no sign of him. Then his mother told me he was gone. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but I felt the pain of losing a friend.

Looking back, it was the awakening of compassion and empathy within me. I didn’t know him well but there was a definite connection between us. A chance meeting that would change my life for the better. I would go on to help others but it all began right there when compassion took hold for a fellow human being and empathy did the rest.

Daily writing prompt

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

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One of Those Days

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It started out peaceful enough but the two temporary residents, Shiro and Galli, acted as if they knew something was up. They watched as I brought the pet carriers upstairs from the cellar. I could see alarm showing in Galli’s eyes and he took off upstairs. Shiro, on the other hand, sashayed slowly to one carrier, sniffed, looked at me and walked off pretending not to care.

The appointment was scheduled for 1:30 in the afternoon. A good time for a haircut and some styling I thought. They needed it badly. The last time they were at the vet to get their hair done was about two years ago. Galli’s hair was badly matted on his stomach and Shiro was a walking ball of fur!

We, my friend decided to go with me, left on time. The cats were in their carriers quiet as they could be. I was feeling nervous because this time around, it would be done by a lady who specializes in trimming cat and dog hair without using general anesthesia. They would be wide awake and fully aware of what was happening and I knew that Galli wouldn’t put up with it. We got there on time and after introducing ourselves and the cats, we went into the basement. The place didn’t look too clean, there was hair all over the floor. I put it down to a client before us. It was time. I decided that Shiro should go first.

She let out a small meow but was quiet for the most part. The lady got out the shears, she had them in different sizes. After trimming around the face, she took out a battery operated gadget and little Shiro jumped when she heard the noise. I held her close as she went about trimming like she would a sheep. Most of the hair came off and then it was time to work on the belly area. This did not set too well on poor Shiro and she let out a loud meow. Again, I held her close, whispered to her, and she kept still. The butt area was the hardest but it needed to be done. Then she sprayed some disinfection on Shiro’s next to non-existent fur and it was a done deal. The white Persian looked like a rat but most of the matting was now gone. The hair will grow back I was told.

Next was Galli and the big guy let out a yelp and a bark as he was laid on the table. She decided to put a muzzle on him because he was literally spitting, growling, and yowling. This time my friend stepped in and with gloves up to his armpits held him down as she went to work. It was hard to watch. The poor guy was in agony, not from pain but with fear. He started thrashing around and if it wasn’t for the muzzle, he would have let it rip! The friend was strong and held his legs as the lady worked quickly. Just watching them at work sapped me of energy. I also felt sorry for Galli and wanted to comfort him but he was beyond listening and in his world of showing just how pissed he was!

Half an hour later, it was all over. They both looked like wet rats, scared and ready to get out of there. I was totally wiped out and so was my friend. He couldn’t believe just how strong Galli was. Holding him down took a lot of energy and strength. The drive back was quiet for the most part and I wondered how Galli would react once I let him out of the carrier. I expected hissing and spitting. However, he surprised me. He walked out, took one look at me and started purring. The poor guy looked half his size without all that hair and I decided that I would make it up to him for the hell he went through. Evening was spent pampering him and his little sister Shiro. Both acted needy and kept wanting attention. When all was said and done, I was pooped!

Chachi wanted to know who the two new guys were! He didn’t recognize them but he did say he was getting tired of having new buddies show up every time he turned his back. He was ready for some peace and quiet. Plus, he didn’t like the fact that I was cozying up to them. So, I had to spend some time snuggling up to the little Macho so that he would come off his high horse. It worked after some time but by that time I was ready to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and let the world go to pieces!

Some days are stressful and yesterday was one of those days. I checked on the two little ones this morning and they looked fine. They were ready for food and acting as if what they went through was all forgotten. Hmm…that’s cats for you!

LOL!

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One day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth.

“Adam, you can start by kissing Eve.”

“Lord, what is a kiss?” asked Adam.

God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her.

A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, “Lord! That was great! What’s next?”

“Adam, I now want you to caress Eve.”

“Lord, what is caress?” asked Adam.

God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her.

A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, “Lord that was even better than a kiss! What’s next?”

“Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve.”

“Lord, what is make love?” asked Adam.

God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush.

A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, “Lord, what is a headache?”

Good to know that “headaches” existed way back then when they were just getting started! 🤣🤣🤣