life – Page 12 – Site Title

Moving Forward

We do it everyday without giving it much thought. Each day requires that you put one foot in front of the other and to keep moving forward. The unknown is scary, the future hazy, and not knowing adds to the whole shebang. However, standing still in one spot is not going to do it even if it feels right at the time and digging in your heels and thumping your nose at whatever is in front of you is a no go either. Move forward….you must if you want to get somewhere in life.

“If I’ve learned anything in life, is that sometimes things get in your path and you have a choice: you can either smash right into them or you can adjust and move around, but you have to do one or the other in order to move forward.” Unknown

According to one source, “moving forward is essential for personal growth, overcoming adversity, and unlocking new opportunities, acting as a “cure” for stagnation, regret, and unhealthy fixation on the past.”

Staying fixated on the past is something that all of us are experts on. We can give a run down on how to do that with a smile plastered on our faces, that’s because we’ve done it numerous times. I know I have. I think the “fixation” comes from the familiarity of the past, we know it well, good or bad. Moving forward is a whole different story altogether. Who wants to move forward when the path forward is unclear and there could be a quagmire of sorts waiting for you there. It is risky business but it needs to be done if you want to get anywhere in life.

“Sometimes in order to move on, you have to accept that some things will just never go back to how they used to be no matter how much you want them to.” Unknown

Moving forward also requires strength, a single-minded focus, and the will to survive whatever is coming your way. You have to trust that all will be well as you put that foot forward hoping that whatever is waiting out there will treat you kindly and lead you on the path to success. Here’s the thing, if you’ve got one foot back there, you know where, and one foot in front, that is a surefire way to failure.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” J. P. Morgan

Easier said than done? Absolutely. I’ll be the first to say that I love dragging my feet. Even if you give me a push forward, I PUSH BACK! I like staying where it is familiar and comfortable. I do not like the unknown but that has never stopped life from showing me what’s ahead in bits and pieces.

Daphne Rose Kingma said it beautifully.

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”

I love that quote because it speaks to the truth of the matter. The past is done with, it is finished, although it loves hanging on and we give it an extra boost by keeping our thoughts and actions focused on it. It is a pesky thing, the past, but it plays its cards well and if it finds someone who will entertain it, it WILL linger on. Let it go. It is no longer needed. You are moving forward.

“Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.” Unknown

Remember that bit of advice. It is important to close doors that no longer serve your best interests. If you want to head somewhere, keep on moving forwards even if it makes you tremble with fear at times. You can’t go back to the past. The future is waiting so put one foot in front of the other and head that way trusting that you will get to a better place at some point in time.

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it: what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” Paulo Coelho

AND

“Remember you can’t reach what’s in front of you until you let go of what’s behind you.” Unknown

Well said. I just need to take that advice to heart and learn from it!

Have an amazing day.

Another Day in Paradise

My idea of paradise is open spaces, blue skies, mountains, forests and streams running through the whole shebang! It is beautiful, calming and at the same time mesmerizing.

Today is no different except spring is in the air and there is sunshine everywhere. It’s a great day for a walk and to let the imagination run wild. There is a herd of deer standing still at the top of the hill enjoying the warmth as I’m doing. I watch them and they watch me in return. A shrill squawk attracts my attention and looking skywards, I see a heron in flight. It is majestic as it glides effortlessly through time and space. Two more herons join the symphony in motion and the dance is graceful as they dip and take off again, weightless against an azure blue sky.

A movement down below attracts my attention and two rabbits take off into the bushes and disappear from sight. There is a different energy out here today. Nature is breathing life back into the fields and everything is waking up after a long winter’s sleep, energized and ready to go. The air is crisp but still a little cold. It is exhilariting.

The only problem, there are more people out and about and where once I was the only one paying homage to paradise, it is no longer mine alone. It too is a sign that spring is marching in and staying indoors is for the birds when you have “paradise” just a stone’s throw away!

A beautiful walk nonetheless.

DON’T STRESS!

It is the last thing that I learned and the one that I’ve been trying to come to grips with. It is NOT to stress about whatever comes my way. Easier said than done because I love stressing about anything and everything! I’m an overthinker so that doesn’t help matters much either.

Recently I had problems with my car. The question arose if I should trade it in for a new car or repair it and work with what comes my way. Simple enough? Nope. It became one big stress situation that consumed every minute of my day and if that wasn’t enough, I brought in different scenarios to make matters worse. It became a problem that consumed me until I realized that I needed a solution and FAST!

“Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.” Natalie Goldberg

I learned it the hard way but I did learn. Things got better when I decided to look at the situation without theatrics, without doomsday predictions and without holding my breath in for long periods of time! The solution came when I calmed down. There were really two options, buy another car or get the one I have repaired.

I decided to get it repaired. It was the cheaper option and since I love the car I have, it became the obvious solution. I placed the order for the part required yesterday, it should be there next week and in two weeks I should have my car back, good as new. Fingers and toes crossed!

Easy enough? It could have been if not for the stressing part which took me on a journey that I didn’t want to be on. Once I calmed down and showed “stress” the door, it became easier. Next time when it shows up as it inevitably will, I will take a deep breath and deal with whatever comes my way in a calm and Zen-like fashion.

Doable? I don’t know but I will give it a try.

The Decision

I’ve been going back and forth on whether to trade in my car and to get a new one. The one I have currently is really dependable and I know how it works and that is the important part. All the new cars have lots of things that I have to get used to and some of them look menacing, meaning, if I pressed something unknowingly, it could shoot to the moon! Just kidding. However, I have developed an aversion to new STUFF!

It was time spent going from dealership to dealership talking to different people and trying to get a handle on the price and how everything works. Luckily, I was able to drag some willing participants to the places I needed to go and the “men” made a commanding presence because a woman alone makes easy prey for those who want to take advantage of that fact. They assume “she” knows nothing but I was armed with knowledge, the Google type, and knew what I was talking about. The men in this case were just there for support, I did the talking.

After test drives of potential cars, I zeroed in on two and then there was one. The last one was a steel blue car that looked pretty nice. It was an hybrid and my first reaction was, NO WAY! However, after driving the little beauty I was sure that this was going to be my companion for years to come. We went to the dealership last Saturday, told the guy I would be back on Monday to sign the papers and to get the process going. On Monday, I woke up early, got my papers together and was SURE that by day’s end, I would be the proud owner of a new car. The appointment was at 11 and since I had time to kill, I stopped by the cafe for a nice cup of coffee. Talked to the owner about my decision and he said, “Sounds great.” So, what happened? I don’t know. Suddenly, I felt like I was drowning and decided to pull the plug!

It was half an hour before the appointment and I knew the sales guy would be pissed. Still, I couldn’t make myself do otherwise. So, the call was made and instead of being mad, he asked why. I told him I wanted to keep my old car. It needed the driver’s side headlights replaced and the cost would be around 2,000 euros. Still cheap compared to the thousands I would have to fork out for a new car. The selling point was that I like my car, I know how it runs and I am comfortable with it. He said, no problem and I was off the hook. Talk about a load off my shoulders!

Back home, I called the repair shop and they said, “Sure, come by with the car and we can take the order.” Total wait time for the part to get there was around two to three days and replacement time around 3 hours. Now, I’ve got everything, fingers and toes crossed that once the headlight gets replaced, the car will run smoothly without coming up with something else. I can only hope.

One thing I’ve learned during this process is to get as much knowledge as you can about buying a car. What to look for, the pitfalls and never let someone pressure you into buying something you are not sure of. Even if you are confident, never try to go there alone. Bring company and somehow THEY think men know better! That’s not the case but let them think that.

We know different!

Have an amazing day.

The Thaw

Is it Day 6 or 7? I can’t keep up anymore but it has been several days since Shiro and Galahad were left in my care. They are cats, if you’re wondering. Shiro is a Persian cat, all white with startling blue or perhaps green eyes, and Gallahad is a British long-haired cat with dark fur and brilliant orange eyes. Yes, they are pretty and belong to my son. Where is he? He has moved to another state to start his new job. Leaving them behind was hard and still is for him and exhausting for me.

Chachi, the cat, my little guy is spoilt beyond repair and he was lord of the jungle until these two walked in and took command. Galli took his window seat by the kitchen and Shiro has claimed his basket upstairs. They were his favorites and giving them up hasn’t set well with the Little Macho. Every time I tried to get them to play, the little brat decided there was no way in hell he was going to do that. This is his place and besides you don’t take stuff away without asking first. He is someone with principles or rather he was brought up to toe the line. So, he froze them out and every time he got a glimpse of them, he would HISS and let it be known that he wasn’t going to put up with their presence. He has been spending a lot of time in my bedroom with the door shut! Now, he hates me as well! Life as Chachi knew it is a thing of the past and the Little Snort is shooting daggers at me and acting like he is a block of ice!

However, today he decided to turn things around. I guess spending time alone in the room hasn’t set too well with him OR he is trying a new tactic. He is not called Little Einstein for nothing. This morning, he looked longingly at the closed door so I opened it and warned him to be nice. Galli sashayed past him without batting an eyelid. Chachi sniffed and went, “Grrr!!!”

ME: “Chachi!!”

HIM: “I was just kidding. He is not that big close up.”

ME: “Behave!”

HIM: “You want to play big guy?”

GALLI: “Sure, we can play.” Silently thinking, wait till your mommy turns her back on you!

So, I left them, ran down the stairs, got the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum two or three times per day now and it is exhausting. Oh ok, I said that already. Anyway, I ran back upstairs and my little guy was in his bowl elevated off the floor with Galli sitting beneath and looking up at him. So far, so good. Then Chachi decided to up the ante. He reached out with one paw and swiped Galli on the head! Big mistake. The big thaw was now freezing back up again. This was Galli’s chance and he took it. He came in with both paws and before he could land a POW WOW on Chachi, I stepped in.

Chachi yelled, “You’re a spoilsport mommy! I could have taken him!”

GALLI: “You’re right Chachi. She is that but I like her.”

Chachi: “Come here Galli, I want to show something. You’ve been begging for it!”

I stepped in and shooed Galli out of the room and Chach went under the bed leaving a slight growl hovering in the air.

I shut the door and so it has been for the last hour or so. The “thaw” is taking place but it is going to take a few more days before I can trust them to play together. What’s with Shiro? She’s a girl and as long as everything is nice and clean, she’s a happy camper. She is under the stairs, eyes closed and enjoying herself. Boys? They are a different matter altogether!

For now, it is life as usual at “Casa de gatos.”

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

I thought this was funny and wanted to share. Some truth to it as well?

Scottish blood…

An Arab Sheikh was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn’t be found locally, the call went out around the world.

Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.

A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a further corrective surgery procedure. Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman, who was more than happy to donate his blood.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him:

“I thought you would be more generous than that. Last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?”

To this, the Arab replied: ” Aye, laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins.”

My Growth Experiences…

It’s early in the morning and my mind is not all there. However, I’ll give it a try since I just had my first cup of coffee and I’m raring to go!

I would say “loss.” Many of us go through it and some of us refuse to learn from it. Loss to us is simply that. Losing something precious, losing a relationship for whatever the reason and of course death is the ultimate loss. These three things taught me that life is fragile but more importantly life is about learning because it (life) has lessons planned and learning and moving on is the only way to go. Standing still is not an option, screaming and howling is not an option, although you can try and I have, thumping your nose at it is not going to work either.

More than my marriage breaking up, I think it was death that brought home the fact that nothing lasts forever but I have strength, incredible strength within the kind that is capable of slaying monsters. First I had to accept that the person had moved on and I was left standing to pick up the pieces. It took crying, incredible grief, talking to myself, finding avenues to let that grief out but most of all when all was said and done, I took up the reins of life again and moved forward one step at a time and I am still moving forward although some days are harder than others. Loss teaches us that when one door closes another one opens. If you keep looking at that closed door, there is no moving forward but if you embrace and move through that open door there is a world of opportunities and new possibilities waiting to be discovered. Courage is needed and of course strength to push you through. It is still a learning process for me and I haven’t reached the pinnacle yet but maybe one day I will or maybe life is just that, when you think you’ve mastered a lesson along comes another. If that’s the case, make it a simpler one the next time around PLEASE!

Daily writing prompt

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

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This Moment in Time

If you think about it, this moment in time is all we have. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is looming somewhere in the distance but today, more specifically, this very moment is where we exist.

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” Bill Waterson

Are you in a safe place? Are you protected? Are you at peace? These are things which matter.

I overthink and it is mostly about the past and then I jump to the future. It is an erratic pattern of thoughts and I am well aware of what I’m doing but still I persist. Last night, I decided to reel in all my jumbled up thoughts because they were causing another sleepless night and then started looking at each one individually and realized that I was dabbling in things I cannot change. The past is done with and the future is unknown. I looked at the moment I was in and realized I was safe, I was warm and I had a roof over my head. I had Chachi, the cat, cuddled up next to me and the world, for the here and now, was a peaceful place. I stayed there for awhile and like a lullaby, it rocked me to sleep.

The moments count. They define our psyche and being in several places in one time does not help matters much. Having one foot in the past and one in the future is not going to do it. Stay in the here and now. What are you doing now? It matters. Trying to put the past, the future and everything else in one basket is a sure fire way to disaster. Sort it out. Make peace with the past, learn the lessons you need to learn and then close the door behind you. The future will be determined by what you do today. Give it loving care, your attention, and maybe, just maybe a brighter tomorrow is around the corner. We can only hope.

Why is being in the present moment so important?

According to powerfullyyou.org, “it can decrease the activities of your nervous system, reduce stress, and help you to feel more regulated.” Tony Robbins says, “it allows you to focus all of your energy on the task at hand.” He further adds, “where focus goes, energy flows.”

Easier said than done? I agree. My mind loves jumping around. It’s like a “monkey” which loves to climb, run, twist and do whatever is necessary to keep me from the task at hand and it often succeeds. It is going to take lots of practice before the “monkey” learns to behave! There is still hope.

Have an amazing day.

My Belief in Fate/Destiny

I do believe that fate/destiny are intertwined and things or events in life that take place do so because of these two entities if you can call them that. There is a higher force at work here and perhaps everything has already been put in motion according to how it should unfold and your life is not really your own. You are going along with the flow so to speak.

Fate is defined as “a power or agency determining events and destinies, acting beyond our control” and “destiny is responsible for everything. This destiny is predetermined and unchangeable.” If that is the case, it is frightening to say the least. It raises the question what if everything has already been preordained and nothing you do is going to change the outcome of what your destiny is going to be?

One particular event comes to mind. I met my ex at a university dance but I do believe that “fate” had arranged that meeting. After a painful breakup, I had taken a year off to recuperate and dating was on the backburner until that fateful evening. I was persuaded by some well-meaning friends to show up at the dance and I remember digging in my heels and saying no but I did go and there he was this tall, skinny and nerdy-looking individual who was not my type at first glance. Fate had other plans and destiny started the ball rolling that night and we ended up together. Even though we didn’t stay together, I feel the meeting was arranged by a higher force and destiny did the rest to put the chain of events in motion. Why did it happen if “forever” was not in the cards? Who knows, maybe it was some cruel trick played by fate/destiny and there was a lesson to be learned.

I’ll never know but I do believe that fate/destiny do exist and sometimes it works in your favor and sometimes it doesn’t. Yours is not to know the reason why!

Daily writing prompt

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

View all responses

Figure It Out

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

“You don’t need to have it all figured out to take a step forward.” Unknown

This is the absolute truth. You don’t need to know everything before you take the next step forward but you have to trust in the process to move forward, one step at a time. You’ll get there.

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt.”

“You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” Unknown

This is where we go wrong I think. We want what we think we deserve but life has other plans for us. Go with what you have, work with what you have and make it the best set of cards for you and you’ll come out the winner. I have to remind myself of this as well the next time I moan and groan at the unfairness of it all!

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” Unknown

The stories we tell ourselves can be the road to disaster. It screws us up. How it’s supposed to be and what you do to get there are two different things. It’s not going to fall into your lap, whatever it is that you want, it takes hard work and that is the truth of the matter.

“You don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. And you don’t have to tackle everything at once. You just have to show up and try. You just have to focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. And you have to trust that you’ll figure out the rest along the way.” Daniel Koepke

Nice piece of advice that. Just keep moving, show up and you’ll be on your way.

“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” Unknown

Okay this one speaks to yours truly! I can’t for the life of me figure out the plot. Perhaps it is best not to ask but to just trust that I have what it takes to make it and the rest will fall into place. Easier said than done!

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan

This special piece of advice is what life is about. Giving up is not going to do it and as I often say, bite the bullet and keep on going.

TODAY

figure out what makes you happy and do more of it, figure out what doesn’t, and do – less of it. –

Mandy Hale

YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT!

Have an amazing day.