mental-health – Page 6

Nature’s Way

“To walk in nature is to witness a thousand miracles.” Mary Davis

Walking is my favorite thing to do. It helps to clear my mind, helps me to get a better perspective on life and it’s good for the mind and soul not to mention my body so what’s not to like?

It is almost springlike in my part of the world but we are not quite there yet and after the snow, ice and sleet of winter, blue skies and sunshine is a nice change. After having been cooped up for a week, it is time to take advantage of the nice weather.

Zipping up my light jacket with a scarf around my neck and stepping into my boots, I am all ready to head out the door. I am not expecting much, just a beautiful walk in nature. I wonder if I will see the deer I’ve seen on my last few walks. We made eye contact several times and then he took off and went back into the woods. I hope I do because there is something about coming face to face with one of nature’s own. It makes me feel like I belong too.

“Nature is the purest portal to inner-peace.” Angie Weiland Crosby

I am surrounded by blue-tipped mountains on one side and the sporadic green line of the forest on the other. Today, I find myself alone as I am on most days. I feel the wind picking up speed and I pull my coat closer against me as I raise my face to the sky. It is clear and blue and perfect. A loud cawing draws my attention. I look further up the path I am on and see two huge black crows fighting over something. As I approach them, they let out a loud sound at the human who has walked into their space, it almost sounds rude to the ear. Then they flap their wings and take off to another part of the field where they would be left in peace. I understand them well, I crave peace too.

Approaching the apple trees, I see that they’ve lost all their foliage and now stand naked their twig-like branches reaching out to nothing in particular. Not too long ago, they looked bright and beautiful with globes of red, pink and green hanging from their green branches. The apples have been harvested and there is nothing more left to be done until springtime of course. Out of what stands before me will emerge pink and white blossoms bringing with them a faint delicate scent that is warm and delicious and the cycle will start again. So it is with life. There is no end and no beginning. It is a never-ending cycle. You get on at some point and you get off when your time is up but life never stops moving, it just keeps on going.

As I make my way back, I realize that I haven’t seen the deer. I hope it is alright. Feeling refreshed by the clean air and the open spaces for as far as the eye can see, I say a small “thank you” for the beauty, the peace and the graciousness of nature. It has accompanied me in good times and bad and will be my companion for many more walks to come. Suddenly, a sharp shrill sound pierces the air. I look up to see a hawk hovering above me. A smile crosses my face as I watch it stay there for a while. Almost weightless it hovers and then it lets out another shrill cry as it flies away into the blue yonder. Nature teaches us many things but most of all it has the power to heal, it shows us a thousand miracles if we are open to it and in its own way it shows us that there is a time and place for everything.

“I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.” Henry David Thoreau

Or this one,

“And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” John Muir

Have an amazing day.

Breathing In Life

It’s interesting how everything comes back to this one thing and that is breathing. We pay it very little mind as we rush through life and forget that it exists but only as something we take for granted. It is that motion of taking in a breath and letting it out that tells us we are alive but how are we breathing? Has stress made your breathing harder, has anger stopped it in its tracks or has sadness made it shallow and rhythmless? Probably all of those things and more. Yet, if we stopped breathing than life would come to a standstill.

I found some beautiful quotes that gets you thinking about this thoughtless process we call breathing. It speaks to just how beautiful and essential it is to breathe and to pay attention to the kind of breathing we are doing.

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living, heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” LR Knost

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“Stop your worrying, panicking and stressing.

BREATHE.

Remember, you made it this far through difficulties that seemed impossible. Remember how many times you were saved at the very last minute – this time is no different.” Bryant McGill

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“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

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“As you waste your breath complaining about life, someone out there is breathing their last breath.” Appreciate what you have.” Unknown

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“Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Unknown

Did something or someone take your breath away today? The Magnolia tree out back took my breath away this morning. It is getting ready to bloom and soon it will be a showpiece as it is every year and it will be enough to take your breath away. The daffodils are shaking their yellow heads, their beauty simple but breathtaking. Most of all, the lone deer that ran through the fields this morning was mesmerizing and breathtaking as I stood and watched it do its spring dance of happiness. I got my daily dose of breathtaking moments today but I’m sure there will be more tomorrow, I just need to appreciate what’s in front of me.

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“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breath and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are.” Unknown

YOU GOT THIS.

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“Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” Mary Oliver

Words to pay attention to. We deserve better don’t you think?

Have an amazing day.

Combating Negative Feelings

I would say the same things I mentioned in yesterday’s “Daily Prompt,” plus I’ll add a few more. Besides walking, working out and meditation, I put my feelings down on paper or write articles on how I am feeling and what I have done or am doing to combat those feelings.

Writing is a tremendous tool, if you can call it that, to bring out what I am holding inside into the open so that it no longer weighs me down. Getting it out there has also helped me to get a better focus on the problem and to come up with better ways of handling whatever is bothering me. Somehow seeing it for what it is, just a ripple even if at times it seems like a big rock, helps me to deal with the situation in a more focused way. Writing is often my go to method for solving negative feelings and it has been working so far.

The other method I turn to is breathing. Whenever I feel like I am drowning in negativity, it happens from time to time but when I sit myself down and go within and start one of my breathing techniques, it melts away. This doesn’t always work but more often than not. There’s something about taking a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds and slowly letting go with a sigh that releases the anxiety and nervousness within. It is a stress buster and just a few minutes a day does wonders for my inner being, my psyche and for letting negative feelings go where they belong, wherever that is. Peace is what I seek and it is what I find when I do “deep breathing” several times a day.

Daily writing prompt

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

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Activities I Love!

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There are three activities that I have come to love in my search for peace and serenity. They are walking, workouts, and meditation.

These three things have helped to forge a way out of situations I find myself in and they have helped to bring a sense of cohesiveness to my life. It didn’t happen overnight, it took time and a certain mindset to keep at getting better.

Walking is my go to when I need to clear my mind of all negative thoughts and just 2o minutes out in nature helps me to do just that. It is free and all it takes is to get out there and see what remedies “nature” in its all-knowing wisdom has to offer if you are willing to listen that is. It may seem like a mindless activity but it is not.

Working out is a daily companion. I work out seven days a week and I don’t stick to one thing. It gets boring that way. I switch it around. Some days it is cardio, some days weight training, some days Pilates and some days Yoga. Whatever I choose to do, Chachi, the cat, is right there working alongside! More like standing right in front of me and waiting to be picked up and kisses rained down on him! That’s his allure to working out. It works just fine for the both of us.

Meditation, well I can’t live without it. It is a big part of my day and one that helps to center and to bring calm into my life. It also helps the “monkey” I call my brain to take a seat and to be quiet for a while.

These are activities that are part and parcel of my life. Simple things, non-materialistic but I find Nirvana in them and they will continue to be a part of my existence.

Daily writing prompt

What activities do you lose yourself in?

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Know Your Self Worth

“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata

According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”

It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.

The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)

Do things you enjoy and are good at:

These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.

Exercise and challenge yourself:

Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.

Challenge negative thoughts:

Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.

Be kind to yourself.

Learn to be assertive.

Start saying “NO!” I have to learn this one myself.

Focus on the positive.

It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.

“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown

If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.

“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown

AND

“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

DON’T STRESS!

It is the last thing that I learned and the one that I’ve been trying to come to grips with. It is NOT to stress about whatever comes my way. Easier said than done because I love stressing about anything and everything! I’m an overthinker so that doesn’t help matters much either.

Recently I had problems with my car. The question arose if I should trade it in for a new car or repair it and work with what comes my way. Simple enough? Nope. It became one big stress situation that consumed every minute of my day and if that wasn’t enough, I brought in different scenarios to make matters worse. It became a problem that consumed me until I realized that I needed a solution and FAST!

“Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.” Natalie Goldberg

I learned it the hard way but I did learn. Things got better when I decided to look at the situation without theatrics, without doomsday predictions and without holding my breath in for long periods of time! The solution came when I calmed down. There were really two options, buy another car or get the one I have repaired.

I decided to get it repaired. It was the cheaper option and since I love the car I have, it became the obvious solution. I placed the order for the part required yesterday, it should be there next week and in two weeks I should have my car back, good as new. Fingers and toes crossed!

Easy enough? It could have been if not for the stressing part which took me on a journey that I didn’t want to be on. Once I calmed down and showed “stress” the door, it became easier. Next time when it shows up as it inevitably will, I will take a deep breath and deal with whatever comes my way in a calm and Zen-like fashion.

Doable? I don’t know but I will give it a try.

My Growth Experiences…

It’s early in the morning and my mind is not all there. However, I’ll give it a try since I just had my first cup of coffee and I’m raring to go!

I would say “loss.” Many of us go through it and some of us refuse to learn from it. Loss to us is simply that. Losing something precious, losing a relationship for whatever the reason and of course death is the ultimate loss. These three things taught me that life is fragile but more importantly life is about learning because it (life) has lessons planned and learning and moving on is the only way to go. Standing still is not an option, screaming and howling is not an option, although you can try and I have, thumping your nose at it is not going to work either.

More than my marriage breaking up, I think it was death that brought home the fact that nothing lasts forever but I have strength, incredible strength within the kind that is capable of slaying monsters. First I had to accept that the person had moved on and I was left standing to pick up the pieces. It took crying, incredible grief, talking to myself, finding avenues to let that grief out but most of all when all was said and done, I took up the reins of life again and moved forward one step at a time and I am still moving forward although some days are harder than others. Loss teaches us that when one door closes another one opens. If you keep looking at that closed door, there is no moving forward but if you embrace and move through that open door there is a world of opportunities and new possibilities waiting to be discovered. Courage is needed and of course strength to push you through. It is still a learning process for me and I haven’t reached the pinnacle yet but maybe one day I will or maybe life is just that, when you think you’ve mastered a lesson along comes another. If that’s the case, make it a simpler one the next time around PLEASE!

Daily writing prompt

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

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Cuss and Slur Words

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Sometimes we need that duct tape over our mouths! There is not just one word but several that I would like to see permanently eradicated from usage simply because they do not add but detract from the English language as a whole.

Their use is easy to those who have a limited vocabulary and to those who think some of those words are “power words.” I detest the “F” word. Listening to someone using this word like confetti strewn throughout a sentence makes my skin crawl. I grew up in a household where cuss words, swear words and racial slurs were not allowed and if caught using them, there was hell to pay. A younger brother rebelled against such restrictions and the “F” word became his favorite word to get his disgust, anger or whatever else he was trying to get across. I heard him using it one day and told on him! Yes I was a tattle-tale but it was for his own good. Dad read him the riot act after hearing about it and we didn’t talk for a long time after. He did forgive me at a later point in time and I never heard him use it again or maybe not just around me!

If I have to cuss or use a swear word, I SPELL it out. It seems to take the sting out of it or so I think! A former boyfriend asked me, “Why can’t you just say the “F” word and be done with it?” My answer, “I can’t!” Fortunately, there are not many occasions where I’ve had to resort to such words and I can count them on one hand! Coming back to cuss words, George Washington once said:

“The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.”

However, Mel Brooks had this to say: “I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bulls**t.”

Two sides of the coin right there. I think eradicating such words especially of the hurtful nature such as racial slurs is a must but I can wish and hope and stand on my head and turn blue in the face but change will be a long time coming if ever!

Daily writing prompt

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

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LOVE

It is elusive, it doesn’t always show up and when it does, it may not stay forever. That is a given but still we seek it, we want the feeling that says all is well, we are loved and protected AND we want it to paint our world in colors of the rainbow or whatever color love brings. It doesn’t matter if it looks and feels like cubic zirconia, the shine is all that matters for a while anyways. The problem is, we seek this elusive commodity like a heat seeking missile but a warm willing body is not enough, it needs substance to keep it going and that’s where the iffiness, the wishy-washiness and dead as a doornail comes in.

Have you ever fallen in love with the wrong person? I’ll guarantee that all of us have at one time or another. I’ve taken that journey many times over. Each time, I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around and each time I watch the worthless relationship go up in flames. I’m like a gardener who had planted seeds and one who is waiting to see what the outcome would be. The hope is that all the care, energy and time would yield a bumper crop but no matter how hard I tried, that plant showed up poorly and died along the way. It got brown and shriveled and no amount of trying to revive it brought signs of life back into it. Yet, I held on because of the invested time, love and energy that had gone into it and I wanted some kind of return when there was none to be had.

It was time to let it go. Put it down to wasted energy, pull it out by the roots and make room for something new to grow. Something which is more conducive and is willing to grow under your care. Bad love like bad seeds are just that, there is no rescuing what doesn’t want to be rescued. Let it go.

Love is defined as, “a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” verywellmind.com

If some of those behavior traits are missing and keeps on coming up missing, then you need to step back, reevaluate and weigh the consequences of such a relationship. Do not make an unworthy person a priority in your life and toxic relationships are just that, the poison starts slowly but it spreads quickly. Examples of toxic behavior are cheating and carrying on other relationships while in an ongoing relationship and pretending it is a covert operation. The liars and control freaks need to take a hike and those who show no respect for the person they’re with are a waste of time and space. Add to that the ones who can look you in the eye and swear that nothing is going on when you know otherwise should be shown the door quickly. No time should be wasted on them. If you’ve got one of these cubic zirconia types on your hands, remember life is too short for hoping and wishing, remember you’re a diamond so you have no time and energy to be wasted on fakes. Make room for someone who is willing to thrive in your garden and put yesterday’s mistakes behind you.

“Something I just recently learned was that chased love is not love. If you have to run after it, talk it into staying, remind it of your value, fight alone for the both of you, issue ultimatums, or test it, it is not love. It’s not love, it’s not happiness, it is not fair, it’s not healthy, the only thing it is…..is a waste of time.” Jessica James

I heard someone put it this way as well but not in exactly these words. Why do you have a junk car parked on your property when you’ve got a Ferrari circling your property? Have the wreck towed away and make room for the new, something better at best. Even if there isn’t anyone new on the horizon right now, give it time. In the meantime work on being a worthy person, worthy of love and one who deserves the best as far as love is concerned. Anything less is an absolute no-go!

“Some people will only come into your life to teach you what love is not. And when that happens, I hope you know when to walk away.” F. E. Marie

Have an amazing day.

Let It Go

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life. Holding on is somehow innately built into the human system and we are wired to hold on when things go wrong. At least, that is the case with me. If only I had the ability to “let go” when I knew that there was no point in holding on. Life would be so much easier right? Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. I am an overthinker, an overachiever and a hold on with a death grip type of person. At times I am well aware that the ship has set sail and is out of sight but I keep looking longingly out to sea hoping it would return and everything would be alright but most times, it never does and still I refuse to let go.

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.” Unknown

The hard thing about letting go is the fear factor. The unknown is always scary. We tend to fixate on what was instead of realizing that it is done with, a thing of the past and it’s time to move on. The pieces remain of what once was, be it a lesson learned or pieces to build a future with but only if we stop looking at that closed door and turn towards the one that is open BUT going through it is like leading a horse to water but making it drink is another story altogether.

Shannon Alder says:

“Forget what hurt you but NEVER forget what it taught you.”

If only it was that easy. Speaking from experience and being the proverbial holder on, I know that there were times when I dug in my heels and refused to budge because it was what was behind that closed door that I wanted. It didn’t matter that it was bad for me and it didn’t matter that it was gone, water under the bridge so to speak and still I held on for dear life. I cried a waterfall when I could have saved those tears if only I had taken the first step to go through that open door. Freedom comes in letting go which in turn gives you the ability to fly because nothing is weighing you down anymore. I am learning not to stay in one place too long, to look back and to gather the lessons I have learned and when the time is right to keep moving forward. Life is for living, not just existing and being stuck in one place is an absolute no go. It is in moving forward that you learn the power of letting go, the power of living again.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Oprah Winfrey

LET GO!

Have an amazing day.